Brief Introduction

[FerretPersona]

Hi everyone.

Not really sure how to go about wording something like this so, sorry if I don't make sense or just ramble.

My name is Darby, I'm 27 and I'm a survivor of grooming, abuse and violent sexual crime. I never really know what words to use to describe what I've been through, but that seems to cover it.

I was put into therapy at 15 following the violent crime, but I resisted and quickly stopped going. I went through a wild period of self destruction/distraction and I basically didn't allow myself to think about or deal with any of this til I developed post viral fatigue a few years ago and since then I've been bed-ridden and unwell a lot and haven't really had any way of distracting myself from anything.

I think that's all I really want to say right now.

 

[KMCINVA]

Darby

Welcome and I am sorry you have to be here. It is a place we can heal and support each other. Thank you for sharing. Only share when you are comfortable and feel safe. It is a process.

As time goes on and the more you let out, the poison will also seep away. When you bury the abuse for decades the mind is conditioned to deny the abuse and are own fears of how the abuse will be perceived holds us back. We are trapped in the abuse.

If you have any questions or need an ear to vent please feel free to PM me. I understand your pain and know the process is an emotional roller coaster and I also know over time you can regain your life.

Heal well.

Kevin

 

[kcinohio]

Thanks for the introduction. Hope you find the MS forums a place of healing.

 

[Jude]

Welcome Darby,

Healing doesn't just happen by itself. We all have to work at it, and support one another in it. You've made a great step by posting your intro on MS. Remember that you are not alone any longer.

Be well,

Jude

 

[Bluedogone]

Hi Darby and welcome,

You've made a wise and courageous decision to put in writing exactly what happened. And to recognize abuse for what it is, and to recognize it as something that must be dealt with.

MS, and it's resources, can be a great help in the healing. One very valuable resource is the many members who've endured abuse very similar to yours. Healing is a long journey, sometimes very difficult., but know this - you're not alone.

Good luck as you heal both emotionally and physically. Take care,

CJ

 

[victor-victim]

hi.

your story is sad to read.
i am sorry to hear what happened.

hope you find some inspiration here, darby.

i, too, was a victim of a violent crime at the age of 15, after multiple previous abuses which included grooming etc.

sounds similar, but as we all know, every situation is different, and each of us reacts in a different way to what appears to be the same problem. the emotions are usually near identical in most cases, but the actions are as widely variable as the unique individuals that we are. it would be convenient if we could lump us all into one simple category and label that :[font:Arial Black]victim[/font]: or :[font:Arial Black]survivor[/font]: but life ain't that easy


here's to the challenge.
cheers!

wishing you well on your recovery.

if you have the strength and the interest to read my story of survival, i can give you a link.
it is not for the faint of heart, however.
deeply disturbing, but i am willing to share if you think it will help.

while you are here, i highly recommend the poetry section.
i spend hours there reading other survivors' feelings.

very inspiring at times, but also disturbing.

always beware of triggers here.
this website is a minefield of angry words and wounded people, but there is also much wisdom and value.

please be tolerant and cautious.