Boy abuse in middle east

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Boy abuse in middle east

I'm in love with a man who was raised in the middle east . Six months ago he told me he thinks his father abused his older brother and heard gossip that his father had had sex with neighborhood kids (boys). I then dared to ask him if his father had ever abused him. He got vague, "I don't know. One night he picked me up while I was sleeping and carried me off..." My gut feeling is is that he was and just would prefer not to open up the memories. He is a heavy pot smoker and,after reading some of the postings, I wonder if he isn't using the pot to blot out his memories. He has told me that he & his friends laugh at us Americans around the sexual/physical abuse histories because, as he tells it, it happens to so many boys there they'd ALL be in therapy if they perceived it as we do. I guess I don't know how to react since he's pushing me away from feeling sorry for him by saying he's one of many yet another part of me also knows that what ever happened had to have hurt him & seems to have had a strong impact on his ability to move forward in his life . -- my question? Does anybody know about this middle eastern boy-abuse thing he & his friends refer to? Is it covertly sanctioned there, men having sex with younger boys? Will he ever go for help do you think? I'm gettting scared about our future: how can I live knowing/not knowing what went on?
 
You posted a long time ago. My reply is my current personal understanding, not meant to be anything but some stones to step in some direction for others with partners from culturally diverse backgrounds.

The Kiterunner is a novel that touches on CSA as described above, and is set in Afghanistan. It is not a self-help book, but rather a way of understanding that which you’ve described above. It may be very triggering, so although it’s powerful and well-written, it may not be suitable for many. Mind over mood is a self help book that is available in Arabic, and is based on CBT therapy. Access only available in select middle eastern countries or the UK, however, for the E-book and hard copy.

will not go into personal details - have not lived CSA myself, but for others I know. They are a mix of culturally diverse individuals. Middle eastern and African backgrounds, some born and raised in their home countries, others second or third generation in Western countries.

There are layers of complexity and societal beliefs that add to the trauma. I’m not a counsellor/therapist so I won’t go further than this. Each country has its own set of layers, for cultural, religious, social or economic reasons etc.

It is entirely possible it happened. It is also possible he will (and maybe has, since this post is now nearly two decades old) seek professional help. It is also likely that given the stigmas attached and compounded by his background, he may not seek help.

there are many who’ve lived this experience from all parts of the world. If you or your partner has lived through this and like me you look and look and look for something somewhere on the internet to relate to their experience and your journey with them, this may be a little drop in a big ocean but a drop nonetheless.
Can write more and more but will leave it for now. If anyone reads this and wants to know more or have someone to talk to, this post can always be replied to.
 
Newer here so I will tell you my middle east experience. Child sexual abuse is a big problem there. After we kicked the Taliban out of Afghanistan the problem with Bacha Bazi came right back and so did the poppy fields. If you don't know what Bacha Bazi is it is the dancing boys which goes on all over the middle east, Afghanistan was the worst. In their culture until you get pubic hair you have no value and therefore little can be done to a man having sex with kids. There is a movie on youtube about it but many here will get the hell triggered out of them if they watch the entire thing.

While there doing contract work which is as far as I can go we were invited to a party. It was more like come to party and bring your guns. Had no clue what it was but when I saw it I was disgusted. Basically young boys dressed like girls and men damn near having sex with them in the same room. As the evening wound down men started taking their boys to their rooms or home. I pretty much stayed in the back ground and drank tea and smoked Hookah. I had to go to the bathroom and saw what was going on in a back room with a man and a boy and went off. A couple guys pulled me off of the man and we went outside before it became a really bad situation. I beat him pretty badly, nothing could be done because of who he was, the entire thing was swept under the rug. Contractors did security for these events so the troops didn't see what command and those visiting from the district of criminals were up to. When we went back to base the next morning I made the comment so we freed Afghanistan from the taliban so they can grow poppies and fuck boys in the ass, the other contractors said that's about right and it is pretty fucked up isn't it.

Not only do the natives indulge but I witnessed military from around the world indulging at the party. Politicians from many countries and from all political parties indulged. There were also parties with little girls where we were stuck guarding people who were attending. Also the UN officials who I also saw doing similar things on a contract in Africa are into this in a major way. Didn't work in Bosnia but have contacts there in business and have heard it was bad there too.

People on this forum have no clue how bad and how widespread sex trafficking really is.

There is a movie called The Whistleblower where a woman who was sent as a peacekeeper documented the sexual abuse in Bosnia.
 
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Jim1104 said:
It is disgusting.
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Lets also say that while in that crappy place we also saw kids that didn't belong there. I never saw a white Afghani so where did the white kids come from? No US or UN people seemed too concerned about it. Where did the Asian kids come from?

People in this country really have no idea how bad it really is. 800,000 kids go missing every year in the US alone. You think the news would be nothing but missing kids but they are told what to cover and missing children is not a subject they are covering. So basically every 50 years we lose the entire population of California in just children.

The truth of what happens around the world to children is unspeakable. It is about 8 million worldwide but is that the real number or just the number from civilized nations where they keep statistics on how many are taken? What about the children from Africa, Somalia, Dominican Republic, Haiti, other small island nations, other third world countries and war torn nations. What about kids taken from these places and taken to first world nations where nobody knows where any of them went?

Over the years I have met a few cops that work the child cases, a few really work the cases but a lot could give two shits about anything other than the pay check. They said they find very few of them.

I really don't believe this to be a solvable problem, it is that widespread. One of my employees is Iraqi and one is Afghani, both have deserted their faith. They say Bacha Bazi happens in their communities in the US. Kids better hope they get born to attentive parents because parents like mine just pushed me out the door and said be home by dinner to the dangers of the world.
 
The numbers you quoted are probably low. Unimaginable. This absolutely breaks my heart.
 
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I watched a documentary on the dancing boys in the middle east a few years ago. It is a wide spread problem and control of these boys was Opium or Heroin. I think this abuse of boys is all over the world and is kept quiet for some reason it seems that society accepts this. Very sad Drug addicted boys being used by filthy men.

I was a street sex worker for a few years in the early 70's and terribly addict to drugs.The memories I have are mostly just screen shots of getting into strangers cars and then nothing. I have been told maybe that is a blessing I remember little.


I watch that documentary to see if I could see any parallels. Drugs and sex with young boys was the main comparison.
 
I remember something about dry ice. I think someone was killed by it from Carbon Dioxide. It is a silent killer if you are exposed to it for too long.
 
Esterio said:
I watched a documentary on the dancing boys in the middle east a few years ago. It is a wide spread problem and control of these boys was Opium or Heroin. I think this abuse of boys is all over the world and is kept quiet for some reason it seems that society accepts this. Very sad Drug addicted boys being used by filthy men.

I was a street sex worker for a few years in the early 70's and terribly addict to drugs.The memories I have are mostly just screen shots of getting into strangers cars and then nothing. I have been told maybe that is a blessing I remember little.


I watch that documentary to see if I could see any parallels. Drugs and sex with young boys was the main comparison.
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I did see some use of opiates there on these boys but mostly the opium was for export to the west. I have some photos of troops guarding the fields and also loading trucks with tons of opium. Anyone want to guess who transports it here?
 
Esterio said:
I remember something about dry ice. I think someone was killed by it from Carbon Dioxide. It is a silent killer if you are exposed to it for too long.
Click to expand...

CO2 can kill you in the right concentration. So can nitrogen gas, with nitrogen you will not see it coming it is that fast. They originally wanted to use nitrogen gas for gas executions in this country but it was so fast the prisoner just went to sleep, They wanted a better show with people turning red and purple and then the heart attack so the witnesses got a show.

Also used for this is nitrous oxide but you have to use it in the right mix of oxygen or they may not wake up.
 
wvsurvivor said:
Anyone want to guess who transports it here?
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On another documentary that I watched just dealing with the Opium trade and a lot of it they said was fallowing smuggling routes that have been there for 100's to thousands of years still traveling on Camel's. It was coming from a lot of different countries. I think it is the Taliban in Afghanistan it is an old trade smuggling Opium from the whole region. I think most in the world comes from Afghanistan now.

Had friends that told me of traveling in Afganastan before the Russians invaded. They fallowed the old routes I think they said something about the opium triangle but not sure. that was in the late 60's.maybe 1970 being the last time they went there. They talked about a different place than it is now. A very welcoming happy people. I think that has changed a lot and you would have seen what it became. Not a place that you could just walk anywhere with no worries to now being a dangerous place to go. They back packed there way all over from there to different places in Asia.
 
Iran used to be a nice place too. A friend of mine and her husband were stationed there in the 50's and it was a moderate. That was until the over zealous religious nut jobs hijacked the country. When she died she left me her photos of Iran along with a few hand made tables made of brass and hand engraved. But when the religious zealots took over partly because of US sticking our noses in it woman had to now cover up, they were thrown out of the schools and they went backwards. UAE is just now allowing women to drive and they are loosening up things over there which happened under our current presidents watch. UAE is a fun place and I go there often. God knows what will happen now.

There were some kids there we saw that were drug addicted by their pimps that rented them out , they were given enough to get them through the night and the next morning they wanted to go back to their handlers for more drugs. Took every bit if restraint to not take out a party of 50-100 men who were abusing them. Most of the kids sucked it up because they got money from the men, kind of what I did as a teen for things I wanted.

Only thing that will change things there is a big explosion. It is part of their culture and religion. Nothing will change them nothing will bring them into line with normal human rights. I have had many conversations with my employees that are from there. They love their country, they hate their leaders and they hate their religion. As far as I am concerned any religion that has no value on women or children is a false religion.
 
I was going to say that this stuff is not traditional to American Indians that I know of. Most if not all cultures respected women and traditionally community care is of children is a given. I really hope the religions doing this get called out. I blame extreme unhealthy patriarchical societies for this kind of behaviour. Our women were respected and loved for their womanhood and ability to bear children. Women were at the heart of many tribes, especially the Iroquoian tribes and still are for the most part. It takes an ill person to behave in the way described in this posting above.
 
The made for TV program was "The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan". Well done, but very unsettling and triggering to some. I know I may get some flak for this but.........we all are aware of the abuses in the church - especially in the Roman Catholic church - but they are not alone. I would imagine it goes on in numerous denominations it just isn't yet known. Also, it doesn't seem it is politically correct or discussed or spoken of in the news that this abuse of children goes on in Islam. I get it, not everyone in any faith acts as these sick individuals do and there are those who practice this and give a bad name to the entire group. My relatives on my Granddad's side were German-speaking. That doesn't mean they were Nazis, just people who unfortunately spoke a language that, at that time, was highly unpopular and suspect at every turn. They spoke English in public. Even after the war was over.
 
I think sexual abuse is a human condition it happens everywhere and in all religions and cultures through all clubs the have children in them. Because some of it that really was confusing happened in a church to me I have never been able to settle with religion again, as soon as thoughts go to religion I go to what happened to me and it is one 5 decades ago but I still have not been able to move on.
 
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