Boot camp graduation, drugged and raped<triggers>

The night of graduation from navy boot camp I had a hotel room and ran into a group of corpsmen a guy and girl couple and another guy. I had a freind from boot camp with me. We all went back to my room to have some drinks. I remember the first sip and being told to drink up. Nothing 5 minutes after we got to the room. I was drugged. After that everything is in bits and pieces. I remember being on the bathroom floor and someone trying to get me dress pants off of me. My body wouldn’t do what I was telling it to. I wanted to get up, but I couldn’t even lift my arms to push him away. The next thing was the guy he was shaking me trying to wake me trying to wake me and I was naked in the bathtub. He was very concerned looking. (I’m a lightweight with medication) i know he was kissing me at some point and I remember his razor stubble rubbing on my face. I remember his hand on my penis. I don’t have any memory of what he did to me. I awoke on the floor of the hotel room, he was I’m one bed, the couple in the other and my buddy was telling me we had to go. He helped me get the rest of the way dressed. And we left. I knew something had happened. I wanted to ask. What came back first was being in the bathtub. Then I remembered the guy kissing me and I was too ashamed to ask. Later there was a little blood when I went to the toilet. I’m not sure I believed it even then. Part of me knew what had happened, and part was denying it. There didn’t seem to any point in telling anyone, I had no idea who he was, and I couldn’t remember anything anyway. Who would I have told? I just got out of boot camp, this was the 80s, if I were believed to be gay (and I was still trying to deny that too) they would have kicked me out. I wondered if I had done something so he knew I was gay (sort of, kind of, maybe) I wondered if I had just gotten drunk and come on to him. I wrote it off as me being passed out drunk, and it wasn’t until years later that I began hearing about date rape drugs that I knew I had been drugged so he could rape me. I put it out of my mind completely for a long time, and and I don’t feel I was especially traumatized by it. My main purpose for putting this here is just that I want to make sure I’ve told my story and that if anyone else had experienced something like this they know it wasn’t their fault and they aren’t alone.
 
The night of graduation from navy boot camp I had a hotel room and ran into a group of corpsmen a guy and girl couple and another guy. I had a freind from boot camp with me. We all went back to my room to have some drinks. I remember the first sip and being told to drink up. Nothing 5 minutes after we got to the room. I was drugged. After that everything is in bits and pieces. I remember being on the bathroom floor and someone trying to get me dress pants off of me. My body wouldn’t do what I was telling it to. I wanted to get up, but I couldn’t even lift my arms to push him away. The next thing was the guy he was shaking me trying to wake me trying to wake me and I was naked in the bathtub. He was very concerned looking. (I’m a lightweight with medication) i know he was kissing me at some point and I remember his razor stubble rubbing on my face. I remember his hand on my penis. I don’t have any memory of what he did to me. I awoke on the floor of the hotel room, he was I’m one bed, the couple in the other and my buddy was telling me we had to go. He helped me get the rest of the way dressed. And we left. I knew something had happened. I wanted to ask. What came back first was being in the bathtub. Then I remembered the guy kissing me and I was too ashamed to ask. Later there was a little blood when I went to the toilet. I’m not sure I believed it even then. Part of me knew what had happened, and part was denying it. There didn’t seem to any point in telling anyone, I had no idea who he was, and I couldn’t remember anything anyway. Who would I have told? I just got out of boot camp, this was the 80s, if I were believed to be gay (and I was still trying to deny that too) they would have kicked me out. I wondered if I had done something so he knew I was gay (sort of, kind of, maybe) I wondered if I had just gotten drunk and come on to him. I wrote it off as me being passed out drunk, and it wasn’t until years later that I began hearing about date rape drugs that I knew I had been drugged so he could rape me. I put it out of my mind completely for a long time, and and I don’t feel I was especially traumatized by it. My main purpose for putting this here is just that I want to make sure I’ve told my story and that if anyone else had experienced something like this they know it wasn’t their fault and they aren’t alone.
Thank you for your post. Similar story in MOS school in the late 80s, still trying not to blame myself. Working on it.
 

Placebo

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Sorry that happened to you. I recently shared my story of being assaulted on deployment. Like yourself I have no idea who the guy was & I was worried that people would make jokes & accuse me of wanting it or something. I knew there were already rumors that I might be gay, so I didn't want to fuel that fire. DADT had just ended & many guys in my unit were not happy about it. My fears of what might happen if I said anything was nearly as bad as the assault itself. However finally sharing my story has helped me a lot.
 
I was looking through some photos tonight and found a photo of myself in the motel room earlier in the day. My dad took it. I look so freaking sad, but it was because my parents were leaving. I’m standing right where I woke up on the floor the next morning, missing a piece of my life.
 

BDD

Registrant
@Morgan McCall reading your description of the drugs affects was chilling. I was drugged in 1974. I couldn't get my arms or legs to do anything. I was conscious, but unable to defend myself. I am sorry you know what it feels like.
 
A few years ago I was prescribed some muscle relaxers and the feeling of not being fully in control of my body gave me a panic attack. It was one of the most miserable experiences I ever had. Most likely I was drugged with GBH.
My therapist pointed out that the mix of GBH and alcohol can be lethal. This guy knew that and when he was done with me placed me in the “recovery position” on my left side on the floor so I would asphyxiate on my own vomit.
 
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