Bodybuilding: Reclaiming physical presence

[i-m-Bri]

Sexual trauma damaged so much of my psyche. Among other aspects, it stole the power of my appearance. My body became scornful. Molded through that lens I could only see a grotesque caricature.

Cultivating a physique permits me to witness its unmistakable beauty. Granted, that is a thin shield against the ceaseless torment of self-hate. But it is still a valuable weapon in my toolbox. Even a moment’s reprieve is a cherished relief…a step further out of hell.

Maybe it’s paradoxical, but being recognized as beautiful is empowering. Long gone is the threat unwanted attention might bring with it. Through the ups and downs, I have developed confidence. I, age, and biology are in control.

 

[Wharf_Rat]

Sexual trauma damaged so much of my psyche. Among other aspects, it stole the power of my appearance. My body became scornful. Molded through that lens I could only see a grotesque caricature.

Cultivating a physique permits me to witness its unmistakable beauty. Granted, that is a thin shield against the ceaseless torment of self-hate. But it is still a valuable weapon in my toolbox. Even a moment’s reprieve is a cherished relief…a step further out of hell.

Maybe it’s paradoxical, but being recognized as beautiful is empowering. Long gone is the threat unwanted attention might bring with it. Through the ups and downs, I have developed confidence. I, age, and biology are in control.

How long did it take for you to get a good physique? I've tried to build up my muscles from time to time throughout my life but have always given up after a few months or so because I see no results and get discouraged.

 

[Dolphin42]

@i-m-Bri so glad you are discovering this aspect of being a man, namely working out to get a better body. I started competitive swimming again about 5 years ago after a 7 year break. The dad body crept in quickly in those 7 years. Being fit and looking fit is just one less thing to worry about when I'm out and about in life. I also don't worry about dropping dead suddenly from heart attacks and strokes as I approach 60. This used to be a real concern when I was at a desk all day and fully sedentary. The biggest boon from training is the mental health boost, and the feel good sensation after each workout, which is between 0.75-1.5 hours, 3-4 days per week. Working out also helps my sleep.

@Wharf_Rat the time to see results varies by person, by motivation, by diet, by age, and by particular exercises. It took me a good year of swimming 6 days/week for a year to do a full transformation of my body, and I continued to improve in the following years. A few months will just be enough for you body to start to begin to change and develop more muscle. There are energy pathways that need to develop so that the muscles can get the energy they need to develop from resistance and endurance work. Fitness can also start to disappear in a just a few months of skipping workouts. Working out is best done as a lifestyle choice, with a higher priority than other activities. There is also a need to increase protein intake when working out, and depending on age more protein if on the far end of middle-age. We are about the same age, and sarcopenia means we have to work harder to get the same results as men half out age. I do between 2 and 6 scoops of whey protein shakes (25g protein each scoop) on days I workout, and half that on the day after a workout. Older athletes also need more rest days, as training everyday can lead to over-training, and then the body refuses to rally for a workout and forces you to take a break. I've had to relearn how to train in my 50s compared to what I got away with in my 40s and younger. There is a lot better knowledge now too, lots of great information in YouTube videos on how to train in your 50s and 60s. It's totally possible to get fit in your 50s and 60s. Keep with it, develop a program, don't over do it, give your self rest days, go lighter every fourth week, focus on elevated heart rate for extending lifespan, about 150-300 minutes/week.

If others are interested, maybe we could start a training related area and I could share some of the experts on YT and the latest research papers I find when I'm studying how to train better. Some find a lot of benefit from having the proper supplements while training.

 

[i-m-Bri]

@Wharf_Rat,
@Dolphin42 summed up the technical aspects so well! I think it's important to remember that any attempt to change your body is up against a machine that has perfected maintaining it's status quo.
I had been a fitness enthusiast for about 20 - 25 years before I started serious weight training. Before I was a cardio freak (swimming, spinning, running, etc.) Once I switched to lifting, I also changed my diet. It took about 2 years before I saw a change. Here's the crazy thing. I have been bodybuilding for 6 years. In that time I have not gained any size! That would be discouraging if I looked the same. But I don't. I have trouble describing the difference. The best I can do is to same that I am denser and more mature (funny, I am 64!)
The important thing is do do it as a lifestyle. Go for the health benefits. Go for the relationship with yourself. If you lay that foundation, your appearance will change.

@Dolphin42 connecting to my masculine body has been paramount to my inner growth!
Keep up the good work.
Please share what you find!

 

[LRD]

Great discussion guys on self care! I found that through the years that weight lifting definitely has helped my confidence. I always felt that being a smaller to medium frame that I was more vulnerable. I started lifting in my early 20’s. Now at 67 I’m still in the basement
a few times a week to lift. Went to the gym for years and had workout partner’s, that definitely help with motivation. I never really felt like I was super athletic, never gave myself credit. Now at my age I look around and see guys that really look much older in their fifties. It pays to push through, when you don’t think there are any results, there is!
Sometime we don’t allow about self to see them. LRD

 

[LRD]

@i-m-Bri. That’s awesome man that you compete. I’ve never been brave or disciplined enough to do so. Stay with it man! LRD

 

[Photoman]

After two years of taking care of my daughter and wife, both with cancer, I wasn't taking care of myself. When my wife died 2 years ago, a year after my daughter died, I had lost 90 pounds. After I had lost all the fat, I lost most of my muscles. I went down to 128 pounds with a 28" waist. For 2 years now I've tried to gain weigh, eating anything and everything I wanted. I've only managed to gain 3 pounds back.
I talked to my doctor and he said I was so mal-nutritioned after my wife died that it would take a while for my body to react to calories and protein.
In my younger years, I got into body building and really buffed my body up. (Hey, it got me the woman of my dreams, my dear wife.)
You guys into bodybuilding, do you have any tips for me to gain back muscle? I do eat a lot of protein but a lot of junk food too. I've been drinking protein shakes as well, like Boost. I'd like to join a gym but in the area I'm in, it would be an hours drive just to get there. I would much rather swim as exercise but that's not an option. And, if I were to gain muscle back, would it help with my hanging skin that's all over my body? I'm 65.

 

[i-m-Bri]

It pays to push through, when you don’t think there are any results, there is!
Sometime we don’t allow about self to see them. LRD

So true! And they happen so slowly, it's hard to detect on a day-to-day basis. I've been taking a photo of the "Front Relaxed" pose every day for 4 years. Comparing the first to today's is super revealing. I look bigger AND I am 5 pounds lighter!

Competing is an awesome way to meet like-minded men. I was terrified of going into the pump room the first time. I showed up super early just to claim my territory. Turns out I was in a room full of guys with the same concerns as I had! I am committed to befriending one or two (like exchange emails).

@Photoman The pandemic was a boon for "at-home" workouts. You can find plenty of valuable "how tos" on YouTube. You don't need to build a full-fledged gym, but you will need some basic equipment. The day before lockdown I grabbed a weight set at Walmarts for about $125...saved my sanity!.

I am 64 and have developed "drapery" on my lower stomach. Skin loses its elasticity with age. There are gels that promise to tighten it up, if they work at all, it's only temporary. As far as I know, only surgery can remove it.

 

[Dolphin42]

Regarding skin - starting at age 55 I began to work out again, and chose to do workouts fasted in the morning usually (end of an intermittent fasting window of 16-18 hours starting the evening before), and eat after workouts with a 6 to 8 hour eating window. I also did some Keto diet for 3 months at a time. (3 months is about as long as I can handle Keto diets with just 35 grams of carbs per day, and just 6 days per week, always allowed myself one full carb day per week to stay sane). I lost 40 lbs in about 6 to 9 months with that combo of exercise, intermittent fasting, and Keto, converted a lot of dad bod belly flab to upper body muscle, and with the fasted workouts my body reclaimed the excess abdomen skin all on its own. It may be lucky genetics, but I don't get noticeable stretch marks as long as I lose weight slowly from exercise, and fasted exercise seems to nudge the body to find cellular material for repairs/recovery from the excess locations. My older brother lost probably around 60 lbs from calorie restriction only, around the same time as me, but he did no intermittent fasting, no keto, no exercise, and still has sheets of skin hanging from his abdomen and arms, like a deflated pool floaty. I don't have reference to the science behind the different excess skin results, but my anecdotes point to the cause due to losing weight quickly, which seems to overload the body's ability to shrink the excess skin. I knew a woman years ago that in her 20s got a stomach staple to lose her obesity, and she did, quickly, and forever has called her legs wormwood due to the quick shrinkage and resulting stretch/shrink scars, so it's not necessarily an age issue.