Board Concerns - Please Read...

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Board Concerns - Please Read...

I haven't said anything up til now, but please remember that what you are writing is read by a broad spectrum of members...

Not everyone wants to read graphic descriptions of abuse when they sign on here... That does not mean that what happened to you is not important...

I think we have a couple of ways we can deal with this ...

People could add the word "GRAPHIC" at the top of their post and then space down a few lines to begin writing....This would allow people who do not want to read a graphic post to skip it....

or

We can ask that graphic descriptions of abuse be kept to the "Our Stories" part of the site...

Does anyone have any other ideas on how to handle this situation?

You can either post here or post to me privately if you are more comfortable...

Please give this some serious thought..

tat2bear
 
I completely agree that if someone posts something graphic that they should warn anyone who might be reading their post.

I think that this might be the best way to handle it.

Thanks.

Jim
 
I think warning the readers is a good idea like you said. I don't think the graphic stuff should be kept in the "Our Stories" section, because I may be wrong but I thought someone said you can't respond to messages there. So the warning idea is better.
 
good idea lets make our storeis less graphic,lets hide it, im sure nobody wants to know how easy it was for the monsters to get to us and ....fuck my life up ....what the hell do you mean by less graphic? lets see, what was that smell, that sound, that voice, oh never fucking mind harry doesnt want to be graphic let just fucking hide it in that black box i keep trying to get out of, for harry wow i just blinked my eyes and now its less graphic your right harry thanks if i can just keep my eyes closed long enough itll be less graphic like harry says, what a great idea, all these years of sex, people,and all the bullshit and all i had to do is close my fucking eyes and go into my black box and hide from all that graphic sexual abuse, you know, suck this, let me put it here,its time for me,come here,and dont forget, i have some thing new we can try,thanks harry if thats not minimizing then ill just close my eyes,and it was just a big joke ha fucking ha !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Everyone,
I have wandered through a shit load of support groups in the last year, I liked this one the best because it's not run by a bunch of flipped out bitchs! They did have a good idea...if the post is toooo grephic you had to put may trigger at the top...this gave the perverts time to warm up their printers! That was a yoke...some people are too fucked up to read heavy shit but they read it anyway and freak out...I know that I did and still do. It can't really hurt to put sometime at the top...something that everyone likes... say like the word...'FUCK"...whatever do what is best.

Eddiep
 
I agree that editing our own posts would be a backwards step in recovery, so I am all for including a warning at the top of my posts.

My only concern is whether there are any things that constitute triggers, besides the obvious graphic descriptions of our abuse.

In one case, I found someone's poetry about their anger to be too much. But I chose to stop reading it. Please let me know if there are any topics besides graphic sexual descriptions that should fall under the "Possible Trigger" umbrella.

Thanks.

J
We're in this together.
 
Being so cut off from my feelings I can not totally relate to triggers and their impact. I am beginning to develope awareness of some triggers however. I feel we should under no circumstances be edited or constrained.
However being compassionate for those which experience this pain I would be vey willing to include a warning. Perhaps a new icon could be developed.
 
thunderbolt, all i said was i thought writing "Graphic - May Trigger" at the top of graphic posts is a good idea. I don't want anyone to censor anything or keep anything in at all. I reread my post and I think you probably misunderstood me. When I said "I don't think the graphic stuff should be kept in the 'Our Stories' section," I meant I don't think it should be limited to that section, which was one of tat2bear's suggestions. I wanted people to be able to post graphic/triggering stuff in the regular forum as well as the stories forum, because I don't think people can respond to posts in the stories forum, and intense posts that are triggering or graphic should definately get feedback.

The last thing I want here are for people to worry about what they post, or hold stuff back that needs to get out. I censor my own posts too much already. I'm not myself here because I'm so damn self-conscious and I hate myself so much I don't want to let anyone know the real me. All my posts have been honest, but I've only had the guts (make that desperation) to be open and post what I was really thinking in 1 of my first posts (I think it was called "Does anybody else got this problem?"). I can't believe I can't even let myself go here, where there is more support than I've ever found. It's so fucking hard to let myself go..

Sorry -- rambling -- point is, I'm very much against anyone holding back on anything here. This should be a place for people to let go and be able to be honest with themselves. Get as graphic or triggering as you want -- do what you need to do. I don't get triggered really. I was just supporting the idea of putting a warning before a graphic post for those in here who do get triggered.
 
Everyone, there is something else here. Put whatever at the top and leave 10 lines. Some of you feel like I do in the back of their minds...that the SA is going to kill them and that they are only waiting and talking here before it comes. They want some place where their last words - thoughts can be printed off of after they are gone. They want to tell it like it is to try and get their story across the best that they can.

Eddie
 
Absolutely!

Urso, no worries about your writings. My response to something you wrote is MY business (unless you were to intentionally write something inflammatory, which you did not). It's based upon MY own experiences in MY life, which you have no knowledge. Therefore, it's not YOUR responsibility. I was making the point that I made a choice to get out, when I found myself feeling what I felt (I think I even responded at the time that it wasn't a judgement on the poem itself). If anything, it shows the potency of your poetry.

I am all for being sensitive to those who are healing. But the flip side of that is being so supersensitive to what you are writing, that it no longer helps you. And that would be yet another tragedy in our lives.

Heh, we're spending so much time apologizing to each other! Let's get back to what's on our minds! I'll see you guys in the other topics!

J
We're in this together.
 
Guys, don't worry, no one is trying to tell you not to talk about your abuse...

I just want this to be a safe place for everyone... and not everyone is at the same place at the same time...

I like the idea of putting "May Trigger" at the top of a post and then leaving a few lines blank... That way, people can choose if they're ready to read a graphic post or not...

I'm glad so many people gave feedback... Now, we just have to try to remember to use "May Trigger" at the beginning of the post...

And this isn't set in stone, we can keep talking about it and adjusting it, or even getting rid of it if it doesn't work...

Just try to remember that there are lots of people just starting to deal with their abuse that come here, and we want them to find support - not get scared off! :D

tat2bear
 
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