Better perspective
I posted something here, other day, of being so very down, so very low. I still am struggling with it, but today, I think it help me, I think it help me very much to get my mind back where it need be. So I wished to share it here also.
I have been feeling rather low for week or more, and normal, I try to feel good, I try to think good things. But there been so much happening in recent two or three months, and so much emotion, I just been feeling down mostly, and not being able to see good.
A friend of mine, she been down some for two weeks, she do not like whole month of October. So she call me yesterday, she say 'get dressed, we are going out'. And we went out for day, which is lot for me right now, because I not been doing so much since I hurt my back. Some things, they just doing errands, or for her to go shopping or have something done to her fingernails (they always look same to me, but I think it not best to say that).
She take me to old person home where she do volunteering sometime, and she have her guitar and is singing for these old people for while. There is this lady there, she have her 103 birthday this week. She is very pretty lady, I think she is quite crazy, but she is happy crazy, she think everone is in her family. She think I am her son, I think, or maybe is friend of her son. Her son is the bear she carry with her. So I sit and talk with her for long time. It is interesting. She have seen so much in her life, so much good and bad, change, learning, understanding, different beliefs and attitudes. But at now, what she remembers is her family. Her friends. Her personal life, what make her happy 50 and 75 years ago. I think it is very important thing, to remember that it is small happiness things that we will remember as most important in 50 years. When we get ready to leave, I give her hug, and say I will be back, and I will. I think it will not matter to her, as she will find next person she think her son or daughter. It don't need be me. But it will matter very much to me.
I do volunteer with Special Olympics, and at animal protection shelter. I have not been able to do so much, because of being sick and hurt. But we go there, my friend walks some of the dogs, which normally I would do. I sit in visitor room and hold the kittens, play with them. They need to be touched, and play with and held, because it teach them people are good, and get them use to people more. And two these baby cats, the fall asleep in my lap. I am looking at these tiny things, they so small, so innocent, and they feel safe with me? They trust me. It almost make me cry. Trust still, it is so hard, and recent it been harder even then usual, for me. But they give it so easy. And they think me worth it. It amaze me.
I come home, and am very sore from being out so much during the day, which I am not use to right now. But my heart, it been hurting, and feeling much betrayed, and now, it feel better. I feel better. I feel better of myself, and of life, and the world of God. I know that not everone believe of that, I do not mean to be push religious at anyone. But I feel much better of the peace and balance of this world. For every bad, there is much more good, I think. Sometime it is quiet, less obvious. It is like the small, beautiful little flowers low to the earth in a large garden. Most people will be caught so much by the taller, larger, more obvious beauty. But when we look little harder, we may find something even more delicate and beautiful underneath. To find that beauty, that happiness, that special feeling to make our hearts warm, I think it is very much worth the extra work to find it.
Andrei
I have been feeling rather low for week or more, and normal, I try to feel good, I try to think good things. But there been so much happening in recent two or three months, and so much emotion, I just been feeling down mostly, and not being able to see good.
A friend of mine, she been down some for two weeks, she do not like whole month of October. So she call me yesterday, she say 'get dressed, we are going out'. And we went out for day, which is lot for me right now, because I not been doing so much since I hurt my back. Some things, they just doing errands, or for her to go shopping or have something done to her fingernails (they always look same to me, but I think it not best to say that).
She take me to old person home where she do volunteering sometime, and she have her guitar and is singing for these old people for while. There is this lady there, she have her 103 birthday this week. She is very pretty lady, I think she is quite crazy, but she is happy crazy, she think everone is in her family. She think I am her son, I think, or maybe is friend of her son. Her son is the bear she carry with her. So I sit and talk with her for long time. It is interesting. She have seen so much in her life, so much good and bad, change, learning, understanding, different beliefs and attitudes. But at now, what she remembers is her family. Her friends. Her personal life, what make her happy 50 and 75 years ago. I think it is very important thing, to remember that it is small happiness things that we will remember as most important in 50 years. When we get ready to leave, I give her hug, and say I will be back, and I will. I think it will not matter to her, as she will find next person she think her son or daughter. It don't need be me. But it will matter very much to me.
I do volunteer with Special Olympics, and at animal protection shelter. I have not been able to do so much, because of being sick and hurt. But we go there, my friend walks some of the dogs, which normally I would do. I sit in visitor room and hold the kittens, play with them. They need to be touched, and play with and held, because it teach them people are good, and get them use to people more. And two these baby cats, the fall asleep in my lap. I am looking at these tiny things, they so small, so innocent, and they feel safe with me? They trust me. It almost make me cry. Trust still, it is so hard, and recent it been harder even then usual, for me. But they give it so easy. And they think me worth it. It amaze me.
I come home, and am very sore from being out so much during the day, which I am not use to right now. But my heart, it been hurting, and feeling much betrayed, and now, it feel better. I feel better. I feel better of myself, and of life, and the world of God. I know that not everone believe of that, I do not mean to be push religious at anyone. But I feel much better of the peace and balance of this world. For every bad, there is much more good, I think. Sometime it is quiet, less obvious. It is like the small, beautiful little flowers low to the earth in a large garden. Most people will be caught so much by the taller, larger, more obvious beauty. But when we look little harder, we may find something even more delicate and beautiful underneath. To find that beauty, that happiness, that special feeling to make our hearts warm, I think it is very much worth the extra work to find it.
Andrei