Better, but.......

[crisispoint]

First of all, I want to thank all the brothers and sisters who helped me, and continue to, by the way, through this bad patch I'm dealing with. It's true, trouble always comes in bunches!

I'm feeling better at the moment, but I'm also very VERY fragile. I was fluctuating from psychosis (I'm not an expert, but I was in serious danger of detaching from reality, I think), to suicidal (again, not exaggerating!). I'm stable, but who the hell knows how long that will last?

I'm scared. Not because I think I'll do something stupid, but that the POTENTIAL is there. I really came close and the fact that I'd be hurting everyone in my life and then abandoning them to deal with MY consequences was the one thing that stopped me. Now I wouldn't do that, but it was that close.

Scared, but I'll cope. I was so scared. I still am. Afraid for the next time.

But, as I've said many damn times, I'll frigging cope!

Thank you, my friends and family here. You remind me of how full and complete my life is.

Peace and love,

Scot

 

[MrDon]

Scot,
You almost took the words out of my mouth... sort of where I've been lately. Don't know if I would have taken the final step out of the world, but the thought was crossing my mind. And for the ones that it would have hurt if I would have done this, I could not go through with it.

For me the worst part of the year is now past.. thanksgiving, christmas and the anniversary of my mom's death. I went out to the park where I talk to her and it did help... I know she is there.

Anyway, I've read so many of the posts (yours included) and just couldn't find any words to respond most of the time lately. I was with you, but just not present.

Don

 

[ScottyTodd]

Scot - Maybe the "showers" are subsiding? Hang in there! You're doing just fine!! Oh, BTW, don't look too far ahead...those future days will come soon enough. Enjoy what you do have today!! US!!! and the positives around you!!

(((hugs))) Howard

 

[FlyWM]

I am glad things are some better for you. I am sure things will remain more stable and you can cope, you have proven that by survivng, and surviving is the first stage of coping. Try not to look too far into the future, nor in the past, otherwise you will lose the now, an since the now is now you need to remain present in it.

scott