being honest with women? TW
TryingtoHeal
Registrant
Wow, I can relate to this post. My abuse included being told how much I was hated by females, and it made it even more complicated. UghMyself, I would just avoid the discussion at this point.
I find misandry too triggering to be rational about it at this stage, and with misandry being openly celebrated and statements like "all women have endured male abuse", or "male desire is destructive", being not just challenged, but actively praised, I doubt I could argue in a reasonable fashion even for equality, indeed at one point a feminist told me that the notion of desiring equitable treatment for both sexes was "A male bias."
These days, I try to just avoid the discussion as much as humanly possible, which isn't easy in fields like writing book reviews or pretty much going anywhere online, since casual misandry and stigmatisation of men has become a part of the cultural landscape.
For example, I saw a youtube video on the differences between books and films the other day, which quite casually mentioned "the destructive desire all men have for women to be submissive", this quite casually, in passing while discussing an entirely unrelated subject, the way they might mention that the earth revolves around the sun or nothing can exceed the speed of light, just as a background constant law of nature.
On the rare occasions I actually interact with people, if I run up against casual misandry, I'm liable to just go quiet, and incredibly stiff and drop the conversation or change the subject.
If it gets too bad I've been known to physically walk out of the room, such as an occasion before covid in which one woman very loudly told a room full of people at an actor's workshop that "all women have endured abuse", and that "all men were abusive."
I've even walked out in the middle of monologues or performances if the "poor abused women", narrative is pushed too stringently.
That one actually got the instructor's attention, and later, when making a reference to the monologue he very clearly said "any person who has endured sexual abuse, male or female", since I think it was probably blindingly obvious why I suddenly crashed out of the room.
Both of those occasions were also without my lady, who frankly makes things easier, indeed it has happened that occasions I've stiffened up and threatened to walk out, she's been the one to step in and actually point out that yes, men do endure sexual abuse and yes, women can be abusive.
Indeed, given the current climate, it's likely that as a woman, she's the only person who can and be likely to be heard and not automaticaly dismissed as a misogynist, IE anyone who doesn't agree with the current "women good, men bad", cultural narrative.
Then again, fortunately outside the internet, media, the news and pretty much any mass communication, such blatant and in your face misandry is rarer, at least in Britain, unfortunately, mass communication and the media is pretty much the only contact I have with people these days anyway, , and I will confess it incredibly hurts when my life long ambition to write is being directly stifled by the brainlessly misandric scum brigade charge of publishing at the moment.
So basically yes, my best advice for being honest with women at the moment, is essentially avoid it unless you're very very sure that a woman actually wants! your honesty.
it can happen, it happened to me with my lady, but unless you're very very sure that your not dealing with another brainwashed product of the "men=toxic" era, just stick to your own corner.
My lady is hopeful this current obsession will eventually run it's course, like the McCarthy era of America, since she's convinced it can't stay at this intensively insane pitch for too long, indeed she lets me know when looking through recent book publications, if she finds just normal romances, crime novels or relationship fiction (none of which I tend to read), that deals with fairly standard decent men and ordinary; sometimes even unpleasant or abusive, women, without banging on the "all men are evil", drum.
She's convinced that people are growing sick of the current overt messaging and things will calm down, pointing to the failure of so many recent fictional universes with overtly misandric rewrites such as starwars, which have gone down the tubes after torpedoing previously beloved male icons like Luke Skywalker in favour of overtly pushing characters whose chief defining trait is! simply being female and amazing.
Whether she's correct, I'm not sure, but at this point I'm just growing tired of the hole thing.
Indeed, I've noticed that my brother, who doesn't have my baggage, having not been sexually abused, cheerfully laughs off misandry, then again, he's got the thing I haven't, an environment where he's respected for, and indeed incredibly good at what he does, and his talents are valued, so he's standing on a more stable ground than I am. Maybe if I had that, I'd be content to dismiss misandry as just obsessive idiocy I don't know and not let it bother me, heck maybe if I had that I'd be able to be rational about the subject.
As it is, I'm just tired! Tired of being labeled as evil, tired of all the things I heard as a teenager being reinforced, tired of having nothing! Tired of trying things that don't work.
heck, I'm tired of every time I contemplate posting on this board it just turning into the same old fucking thing over and over again, which is why I don't post much these days, since I've really got nothing much to say.
Okay, that's probably enough, but this should explain why I basically steer clear of misandry, and why I'm fucking tired of the constant woman worship that's always getting rammed down my throat.
Wow, I can relate to this post!