Being Alone Too Much


I have been living alone since my mother died in 2011. I used to like my alone time but it is killing me now. I sometimes have my good friends from church to come over and sometimes stay a few days. One might think that I should be used to being alone but not at all. I get too much into my thoughts, which a lot of times can be very negative. I also at one time really enjoyed the end of the day when I could strip down to my underwear and just relax. Now hanging out in m,y underwear or naked is mostly an all day thing. I spend too much time on the internet and find myself getting on sites I really should not. I have never been one to watch porn but here lately I watch too much and I know it hurts my soul. I too do some things that are not, comepletly wrong, but only to a point. Like getting naked and taking photos of my genitals and compare to other guys genitals I see online. Here lately I find it very hard to even get an erection but it does not keep me from trying. I post on sites about really personal stuff that I should not, unless it is to find advice. I can't believe it but I have even uploaded my really small penis to a couple of sites. I have never had an issue with getting an erection until here recently. I even got some Cialis from my doctor and it does not even work, at least not for me. So I'm just sitting here butt naked and keep looking down and asking my penis, "whats the deal" I'm tired of just seeing my whole 2 inches. I'm also reading on a site about how to cope with being alone, I'm just not my best company. My days were filled for 5 years, volunteering at the "Hand of Hope", but it's been a few months since I have been. Bottom line is, I just have way too much time on my hands. Okay then, thanks for letting me rant a little, at least I will be at my sisters tommorow for thanksgiving. And for yall, have a good thanksgiving...


I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this. Now is a great time of year to do volunteering as so many people are hurting. I find when I volunteer it gets me out of thinking about myself and focusing on others and that’s just what I need. I wish you well. We go through these things in phases like a roller coaster with up and down times. I hope you can give the volunteering another chance especially as we get closer to Christmas season. Be well…
Just for the record Samson, this is not the right forum for the post you've made. It belongs in the Male Survivor forum. This forum is for family member and friends to come for support as they come to terms with the reality their loved one has been traumatized. You can ask a moderator to move this thread.