Bedwetting - so much shame so little time
Bedwetting - so much shame so little time
- Thread starterLes_Angry
- Start date
I was a bedwetter 'till about age 14. I wet the bed before the SA started, but when the the SA started at about age 10 or 11, the bedwetting that had almost stopped picked right back up and became worse then ever.
I have lots of teddy bears and other stuffed animals. Maybe I'll put them all together for a group picture and post for all to see.
Love ya
Darrel
I have lots of teddy bears and other stuffed animals. Maybe I'll put them all together for a group picture and post for all to see.
Love ya
Darrel
The power of MS is amazing.
I'm a relative newbie here, and I just now found this discussion thread. I'm so glad I did.
I was a very young boy when the abuse began. I cannot pinpoint the year when it stopped, but the bedwetting continued for many more years than I can recall.
It was humiliating and embarrassing beyond expression.
I never clearly connected my bed wetting to my CSA until now.
Now I don't feel so much shame for it.
I'm a relative newbie here, and I just now found this discussion thread. I'm so glad I did.
I was a very young boy when the abuse began. I cannot pinpoint the year when it stopped, but the bedwetting continued for many more years than I can recall.
It was humiliating and embarrassing beyond expression.
I never clearly connected my bed wetting to my CSA until now.
Now I don't feel so much shame for it.
It's amazing how such an old post can still help guys today.
Although I suffered csa as a 5-6yo boy -- when i was 8yo - (3rd grade) i wet my pants during class two times. My mom took me to the doctor after the second time ---- no medical issues at all.
I don't know the answer to why it happened.
I do realize that for most of my adult life - I have been terrified of public restrooms ---- but when I was in the 3rd grade we had a private bathroom for the boys and another for the girls.
Anyone got any ideas?
Although I suffered csa as a 5-6yo boy -- when i was 8yo - (3rd grade) i wet my pants during class two times. My mom took me to the doctor after the second time ---- no medical issues at all.
I don't know the answer to why it happened.
I do realize that for most of my adult life - I have been terrified of public restrooms ---- but when I was in the 3rd grade we had a private bathroom for the boys and another for the girls.
Anyone got any ideas?
i did this until i was around 13 or 14 , it sucked because i was terrified at the possiblity of staying over at a friends house or letting them stay the night at my house.
i have peaed on my friends couch when i was like 14 and i got it all cleaned up in the middle of the night and played it off like i spilled something all over couch . i acted like i spilled a cup of water on the couch with him waching me . i played it off pretty well. it suck though .
my step son was also molested by his uncle when me and my wife got custody of him he was wetting the bed he was 12 when we got him he is now 15 and does not have this problem any longer . he also would wet himself in public places even in school . it was horible for him but he had someone to confide in "me". i have been able to help him in so many areas that will come up or that have come up.
this is something that is more common than we might think this is a great topic because this is something else that us survivors keep to ourselves and in sharing this can bring some sort of peace of mind to those who felt as if they where alone .
GREAT THREAD MAN THANKS FOR SHARING .
i have peaed on my friends couch when i was like 14 and i got it all cleaned up in the middle of the night and played it off like i spilled something all over couch . i acted like i spilled a cup of water on the couch with him waching me . i played it off pretty well. it suck though .
my step son was also molested by his uncle when me and my wife got custody of him he was wetting the bed he was 12 when we got him he is now 15 and does not have this problem any longer . he also would wet himself in public places even in school . it was horible for him but he had someone to confide in "me". i have been able to help him in so many areas that will come up or that have come up.
this is something that is more common than we might think this is a great topic because this is something else that us survivors keep to ourselves and in sharing this can bring some sort of peace of mind to those who felt as if they where alone .
GREAT THREAD MAN THANKS FOR SHARING .
Another commonality, shared with others here!
This plagued me until I was 13 or so. The amount of shame and embarrassment that came from this was almost unbearable. The plastic sheets and loss of sleep was bad enough. I think the parts that hurt the most for me was my parents reactions to it all. They thought it was medical and tried a few of the doctors suggestions (diapers, a moisture sensitive mat that would set off an alarm, one that had an alarm and would shock you, a pill that made your bladder so sensitive you couldnt sleep (that one got so bad, I eventually slept next to a circular saw cutting wood during the day).
I wet my pants during school a hand full of times. I would ask to use the bathroom and they would tell me, no. Eventually I just stopped asking. Luckily we lived on the edge of town. I would run home and change without asking.
The one that left the deepest wound was when I was threatened with exploratory surgery. My mother came into my room and told me I had week to quit or she was going to take me to a doctor to stop it. They were going stick instruments up my penis and it was going to hurt. That was the point that I decided my parents didnt know me, or what I needed. I still wet the bed after that, but it was much less frequent and I eventually stopped. This is the point where my life took a 180 degree swing.
I stopped seeing my parents as caretakers and more like roommates. I decided everything about my life was my responsibility. I took on various jobs to pay for most everything I needed and wanted. I paid for at least half, in not all of what were necessities, like clothes, shoes and my bed. Anything else I paid for entirely. They made justifications as to why my sisters didnt have these same responsibilities, of which I saw as being really unfair, but it got them off my back. That was when I developed the coping skill of doing whatever it would take to not feel the wrath of a person who was supposed to care for me. My grades, confidence and life in general really improved. These overachieving skills and the need to control most everything, has created many difficulties for me currently.
Im thankful that I can see these skills as a double edged blade. They have cut a path for my existence, I just need to learn how to use them without cutting myself at the same time.
This plagued me until I was 13 or so. The amount of shame and embarrassment that came from this was almost unbearable. The plastic sheets and loss of sleep was bad enough. I think the parts that hurt the most for me was my parents reactions to it all. They thought it was medical and tried a few of the doctors suggestions (diapers, a moisture sensitive mat that would set off an alarm, one that had an alarm and would shock you, a pill that made your bladder so sensitive you couldnt sleep (that one got so bad, I eventually slept next to a circular saw cutting wood during the day).
I wet my pants during school a hand full of times. I would ask to use the bathroom and they would tell me, no. Eventually I just stopped asking. Luckily we lived on the edge of town. I would run home and change without asking.
The one that left the deepest wound was when I was threatened with exploratory surgery. My mother came into my room and told me I had week to quit or she was going to take me to a doctor to stop it. They were going stick instruments up my penis and it was going to hurt. That was the point that I decided my parents didnt know me, or what I needed. I still wet the bed after that, but it was much less frequent and I eventually stopped. This is the point where my life took a 180 degree swing.
I stopped seeing my parents as caretakers and more like roommates. I decided everything about my life was my responsibility. I took on various jobs to pay for most everything I needed and wanted. I paid for at least half, in not all of what were necessities, like clothes, shoes and my bed. Anything else I paid for entirely. They made justifications as to why my sisters didnt have these same responsibilities, of which I saw as being really unfair, but it got them off my back. That was when I developed the coping skill of doing whatever it would take to not feel the wrath of a person who was supposed to care for me. My grades, confidence and life in general really improved. These overachieving skills and the need to control most everything, has created many difficulties for me currently.
Im thankful that I can see these skills as a double edged blade. They have cut a path for my existence, I just need to learn how to use them without cutting myself at the same time.
I wasn't, a bed wetter when I was a kid. I remember that it happened in nursery school; one of my earliest memories.
And one other time when the abuse was in full swing, on the night of the first day of High School. I was 14 and a a nightmare that everyone at this new school that I would be attending already knew about all of it and the terror of that being true(in the dream) was overwhelming.
Logan
And one other time when the abuse was in full swing, on the night of the first day of High School. I was 14 and a a nightmare that everyone at this new school that I would be attending already knew about all of it and the terror of that being true(in the dream) was overwhelming.
Logan
pufferfish
Registrant
Logan,
You have this anxiety which must be very painful. Are you in counseling? You must have some issues to work out.
Allen
pufferfish
You have this anxiety which must be very painful. Are you in counseling? You must have some issues to work out.
Allen
pufferfish
yes with an excellent therapist hat If I mentioned his name, which I won't do, but If I did, many here may reogise as an authority in the types of issues.
He has been extraordinarily helpful to me and he says that he is confident that he can help me and that is extremely reassuring to me!
I have a ton of issue to work out. Hopefully I will get better sooner.
Thank you Pufferfish (Allen),
Logan
He has been extraordinarily helpful to me and he says that he is confident that he can help me and that is extremely reassuring to me!
I have a ton of issue to work out. Hopefully I will get better sooner.
Thank you Pufferfish (Allen),
Logan
redneckguy
Registrant
Yea actually I wet all through my teenage years. If you read any of my posts it was especially difficult. For one thing I was poor. For years I wore cloth diapers and rubber pants or plastic pants. All of my diapers were washed out by hand and had to hang to dry. If you came over to my home you would see a few pairs of underpants a few old dingy undershirts and some diapers hanging on the backporch of course it was winter and it was really cold our clothes hung through the front room where the oil stove was to dry. At least I didnt have to worry about guys wanting to stay over all night because of my home situation and how bad it looked. I already had other issues from being neglected when I was younger to not having any clothes to wear alot
brother2none
Registrant
I'm trying to narrow down a timeline of when it was likely that I started being abused, I cannot remember clearly, so I am looking at clues from behavior, and I was reading that bedwetting is commonly a sign of sexual abuse. Found this thread from among dozens of mentions of bedwetting in a search. I guess I am not surprised one bit.
Here is the search link: https://forum.malesurvivor.org/search/66259/?q=bedwetting&o=date
Thumb sucking was mentioned frequently by survivors also. The other clue in my history I uncovered is having unexplained back spasms as a child, bad enough that I had to go to ER to get checked out, and for the doctors to "find nothing".