becoming a teacher

becoming a teacher
T

turtleman

I am studying to become a teacher of small children. Have done a fair amount of recovery work . This new challenge has my fears right in my face. Children are so innocent and I find my protective instincts turned up a bit too high. So high in fact that I want to tell parents not to trust their children around me because I was sexually abused in my past. working on trusting myself. Might try to find another survivors group. I wish anyone and everyone well who is struggling with these issues. Your friend, Turtleman
 
Welcome turtleman,

I am sorry that you had to go through your abuse. I'm glad that you have been addressing it.

Just because you were abused doesn't mean that you will be an abuser. The vast majority don't. Only you know what is going through your mind and that would be something to discuss with your therapist. Both group and individual therapy is a good thing to continue on an on-going basis. Again, only you know how much you need to partake in. You may want to look into the MaleSurvivor's retreats.

I've been called hypersensitive, been told I have my 'radar' turned way too high and see monsters in the shadow just lurking to pounce on unsuspecting children. I don't know if that is the case, but I do keep my eyes open and on look for them. Maybe there is some truth to that. We unfortunately have seen the evils that these monsters can do to children.

Take care,
Bill
 
First, I applaud you for seeking out this site, since this obviously is weighing on your mind. Sorry that you had to come here - like so many of us here, none of us wanted to ever have to find a site like this, but we're very glad it's here for us.

As Bill noted, it's a commonly held myth that all abused children will grow up to be abusers. What HAS been found though, is that abusers were generally abused as children. However, given that, I think you need to look at your thoughts about children and see what they're telling you. Do you have thoughts of hurting children? If so, then you definately need to seek help with those thoughts before you act upon them. If not, then I think you have a normal sensitivity to what has happened to you and are simply being protective of those who cannot protect themselves.

Again, glad you found us and stick around. This is a great place to connect with those who know what it's like.

Regards,
 
Turtleman,

I have been a male survivor for over 31 years. I have been a teacher for 26 years. I can honestly say that I, at first, was always looking for signs of abuse in my classes. As I have taught more and more, I am still aware of the signs to look for, but I am no longer obsessed with it. When you become a teacher, whether you have been abused or not, and you are a male teacher..trust me, you will do everything to protect yourself from being in situations that can get you accused of abusing these students. Its the way society is. My classroom door is always open. I usually have an assistant in the room with me constantly. I never tutor anyone at home or even at their house. You can become a great teacher, just take the necessary precautions that most male (and now female) teachers take. Its a super profession! Poor paying, but super anyway. Send me a PM if oyu want more information.

Rich
 
Good for you Turtleman--it is a wonderful profession.

Only you know if you are a danger to the kids--most of us are NOT at all a danger--and I kind of think you are not either.

My protectiveness of kids leads me to talk sternly with other teachers if I think they have a bias against a kid. We always work it out.

My thought is that you will keep them much more safe than one who never thinks of them being in danger would.

Bpb
 
Turtleman
even though the only thing I know about you is you single post here, I would doubt very much if you were any risk to children.
Why would I think that ?

Because you have come here, and told us all about your fear. The people who abuse work in secret, they don't deal with their abusive past if they have one.

Teaching is a great proffession, enjoy yourself and keep working on your past, that way it won't overtake you.

Dave
 
Turtleman,

Welcome to the WONDERFUL world of teaching! I have been an elementary school teacher for almost 20 years. I only accepted that I was abused 18 months ago, and I have been here for a few months.

Turtleman, why question yourself the way you are? If you have certain urges, you should not teach children. Even though one of my abusers started with me as an infant and continued until I was 23, I have NEVER EVER EVER had the slightest urge to hurt one of my children "in that way" (tie them to the ceiling fan upside-down and turning it on high, well .... :D ).

You do need to be careful to protect yourself. My Principal and a few trusted teachers know a big chunk of my past, due to my recent healing process (which included a falling apart process :p . Parents, well, I am afraid some will NEVER be able to understand. I did nothing wrong, my perp did. I am not sick, my perp is!

Teaching is great, and I personally am overprotective of my charges, but that is ok.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk more!

Good Luck!

PEACE! HOPE! LOVE!

TJ
 
Turtleman, welcome here. I think that you are very conscientious, to be worried of how children will respond to you. I hope that a group would help you to feel more confident in your being safe. I hope that you find this site helpful also.

Leosha
 
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