Because I didn't say NO!
Because I didn't say no.
Tonight I finally got up the courage {balls} to do something that I have been thinking about doing for about three weeks. I have talked it over with my T and also with my attorney. I had a meeting tonight and after I got home I needed to make a call to one of my customers. She is a physician in the office I go to for my primary medical care. She is also a good friend of the family. I had talked with her about the S A because I knew that being in the same office, there was a chance that she could treat me as a patient and read about the S A in my medical history.
Anyway, Amy had called because she and her husband need me to do some work for them but it needs to be done by May 15th. Their son graduates from high school and they want me to do some landscaping work for them. I didn't tell her that there is a good chance that NO landscaping contractor can get the work done by the deadline but I knew that I couldn't. There are several reasons but one of the reasons is that I will be attending the Male survivor retreat in Chicago in April. The other reason is that the ground usually isn't thawed until the 15th to the end of April.
Now that the preliminary stuff is out of the way, I told Amy that I belong to Male Survivor and about the retreat. She knew about my second sexual assault with the minister at the church ( Dr. Laughlin) but she didn't know about the first one. The first one was with Ted a local opthamologist. I told Amy about the Rape. Amy knows Ted. She didn't even doubt what Ted had done to me. She was so supportive of me and what I had gone through that I felt that I finally had what I needed to do what I had been contemplating doing for the last three weeks. Calling the Cheyenne Police and filing a Police report against Ted.
I picked up the phone and called. I referenced the case # for Dr. Laughlin's case and told the dispacher that I had made a reference in that report to the incident with Ted. The officer that took that report was on duty, Officer M. but he was out on another call. She would have him call me as soon as he was done with the call. I tried to watch some T V but found my self nerveously pacing my house.
About 15 minutes later the phone rang. I was Officer M. I "refreshed" his memory of the report of the S A with Dr. Laughlin at the church and told him that in that report I had made a reference to Ted. He told me that he would go and look up the case and call me back.
I went back to pacing the floor ( house). Again, 15 minutes later the phone rang. He told me that in the report that he filed there was no mention of Ted but that they would be separate cases any way. He asked me to tell him about the incident with Ted.
I started by explaining the relationship with Ted. That he was a family frined and attended the same church. Officer M. was on his cell phone so he told me not to give out any names. I told Officer M. about an incident when I was coming out of choir practice at the church and Ted cornered me and groped me. Then I told Officer M. about the Actual rape.
I started by telling Officer M what I do for a living. I felt that I needed to explain why I went over to Ted's house and why I went to the basement with Ted. I told officer M. that Ted needed some work done on his sprinkler system and had called me to give him an estimate. I explained how Ted had on a very skimpy pair of gym shorts and exposed himself during the first part of the estimate. I told Officer M. that when we went down to the basement that was when Ted Raped me. Ted exposed himself to me again. Then he started masturbating. I tried to look away and ignore him. Then, very suddenly, Ted grabed the top button of my 501's ( I didn't have a belt on) and ripped my pants off of me and started performing oral sex on me. I explained how I have read information on S A and that it is normal for the victim to become aroused and ejaculate during a sexual assault. I then told officer M. that I grabed my pants and ran out of the house. I think I finished dressing myself in my car. I just had to get out of there as soon as I could.
Officer M put me on hold. I was shaking so bad and I was almost in tears so I appreciated the break. When Officer M came back on the phone he asked me if I, at any time, had said NO to Ted. I told him I didn't remember. I just have the three images (recurring flashbacks) of the three incidents with Ted. Officer M said O K there was a third.
Actually, in an indirect way I did tell Ted NO. I never got back to Ted with an estimate. He called my parents house and asked to speak with me. He knew that I would have to give him an answer. He told me that if I slept with him the job was mine. I had to give him and estimate for the work so I made it outrageously high by $1,500.00. He called my parents house and yelled and screamed obcinities at me telling me that because he was a Doctor that I was trying to screw him. No Ted it was you who was trying to screw me.
I had remembered what officer M had said about him being on a cell phone so I was trying not to say too much "revealing" information. I told officer M that there was a third incident in Ted's office. I also told him that Ted had been charged with a similar charge in relation to another patient. The other patient was a 13 year old boy that had pressed charges against Ted for doing the same thing during an exam (Whoops. I had let it slip that Ted was a medical professional). I decided that I would give out a little more information. I told Officer M that Ted was an opthomologist and that during an eye exam how Ted had fondeled me during the part of the exam when you put your chin on the chin rest and look into the bright light.
Again, officer M asked me if I said no. I told officer M that there was a waiting room full of patients and I didn't want to make a scene. I didn't want to run the risk of Ted turning the tables and saying that I was the one that had instigated the sexual contact. Officer M said that really there was nothing that the police could do. He also explained that there are different " rules" that they go by in relation to a child sexual assault and an adult sexual assault.
Ted is a FUCKING sexual preditor. He has/had other victims but the police can't /won't do anything about it. Officer M did say that even if they did charge Ted in the office incident that it was only a misdemenor. And he said that from previous experience that without the victim saying no the defence would say it was consentual. Even if I did say no what good would it do? Ted would lie in court and say that it was consensual
Because I didn't say no, the Cheyenne police will not even take a report. Because I didn't say no, that says that what Ted did to me was consensual. Because I didn't say no that probably gave Dr. Laughlin the indication that it was O K for him to Rape me too. Because I wanted it to happen I was some kind of SLUT that would let anyone have their way with me.
I told officer M about how we here at Male survivor distinguish the difference between a victim and a survivor. A victim is a statistic. A survivor is a fighter. It seemed he didn't even care if I became another victim. Why the FUCK even bother.
I will admit that becoming a victim has crossed my mind tonight. But that would not accomplish what I want to do. I want to expose all three of my perps and I want to expose the system that is broken.
While this is a long post I do have an idea. Ted's son is also an Opthomologit here in town. I think I will print out a copy of this and send it to him telling his son the hell that his father has put me through in my life.
Ted's son lives in a big fancy house on "Daddy Big Bucks Lane" and Ted lives in a condo on "Retired Rich Bitch Lane". The family are very prominent in the community donating to the Symphony, Little Theater and other civic organizations. Maybe the people of Cheyenne should know "the rest of the story" behind this " wonderful" man. I would not blackmail them. That is not what this is about. Getting every sexual preditor put where they belong . Where they cannot hurt another person .. that is what this is all about.
It is 1:45 in the morning. I need to try to get some sleep. I will take me meds and try to sleep. Hopefully it will not be another nightmare of Ted or Dr. Laughlin raping me.
Thanks for all the support that I get here at Male Survivor,
John
Tonight I finally got up the courage {balls} to do something that I have been thinking about doing for about three weeks. I have talked it over with my T and also with my attorney. I had a meeting tonight and after I got home I needed to make a call to one of my customers. She is a physician in the office I go to for my primary medical care. She is also a good friend of the family. I had talked with her about the S A because I knew that being in the same office, there was a chance that she could treat me as a patient and read about the S A in my medical history.
Anyway, Amy had called because she and her husband need me to do some work for them but it needs to be done by May 15th. Their son graduates from high school and they want me to do some landscaping work for them. I didn't tell her that there is a good chance that NO landscaping contractor can get the work done by the deadline but I knew that I couldn't. There are several reasons but one of the reasons is that I will be attending the Male survivor retreat in Chicago in April. The other reason is that the ground usually isn't thawed until the 15th to the end of April.
Now that the preliminary stuff is out of the way, I told Amy that I belong to Male Survivor and about the retreat. She knew about my second sexual assault with the minister at the church ( Dr. Laughlin) but she didn't know about the first one. The first one was with Ted a local opthamologist. I told Amy about the Rape. Amy knows Ted. She didn't even doubt what Ted had done to me. She was so supportive of me and what I had gone through that I felt that I finally had what I needed to do what I had been contemplating doing for the last three weeks. Calling the Cheyenne Police and filing a Police report against Ted.
I picked up the phone and called. I referenced the case # for Dr. Laughlin's case and told the dispacher that I had made a reference in that report to the incident with Ted. The officer that took that report was on duty, Officer M. but he was out on another call. She would have him call me as soon as he was done with the call. I tried to watch some T V but found my self nerveously pacing my house.
About 15 minutes later the phone rang. I was Officer M. I "refreshed" his memory of the report of the S A with Dr. Laughlin at the church and told him that in that report I had made a reference to Ted. He told me that he would go and look up the case and call me back.
I went back to pacing the floor ( house). Again, 15 minutes later the phone rang. He told me that in the report that he filed there was no mention of Ted but that they would be separate cases any way. He asked me to tell him about the incident with Ted.
I started by explaining the relationship with Ted. That he was a family frined and attended the same church. Officer M. was on his cell phone so he told me not to give out any names. I told Officer M. about an incident when I was coming out of choir practice at the church and Ted cornered me and groped me. Then I told Officer M. about the Actual rape.
I started by telling Officer M what I do for a living. I felt that I needed to explain why I went over to Ted's house and why I went to the basement with Ted. I told officer M. that Ted needed some work done on his sprinkler system and had called me to give him an estimate. I explained how Ted had on a very skimpy pair of gym shorts and exposed himself during the first part of the estimate. I told Officer M. that when we went down to the basement that was when Ted Raped me. Ted exposed himself to me again. Then he started masturbating. I tried to look away and ignore him. Then, very suddenly, Ted grabed the top button of my 501's ( I didn't have a belt on) and ripped my pants off of me and started performing oral sex on me. I explained how I have read information on S A and that it is normal for the victim to become aroused and ejaculate during a sexual assault. I then told officer M. that I grabed my pants and ran out of the house. I think I finished dressing myself in my car. I just had to get out of there as soon as I could.
Officer M put me on hold. I was shaking so bad and I was almost in tears so I appreciated the break. When Officer M came back on the phone he asked me if I, at any time, had said NO to Ted. I told him I didn't remember. I just have the three images (recurring flashbacks) of the three incidents with Ted. Officer M said O K there was a third.
Actually, in an indirect way I did tell Ted NO. I never got back to Ted with an estimate. He called my parents house and asked to speak with me. He knew that I would have to give him an answer. He told me that if I slept with him the job was mine. I had to give him and estimate for the work so I made it outrageously high by $1,500.00. He called my parents house and yelled and screamed obcinities at me telling me that because he was a Doctor that I was trying to screw him. No Ted it was you who was trying to screw me.
I had remembered what officer M had said about him being on a cell phone so I was trying not to say too much "revealing" information. I told officer M that there was a third incident in Ted's office. I also told him that Ted had been charged with a similar charge in relation to another patient. The other patient was a 13 year old boy that had pressed charges against Ted for doing the same thing during an exam (Whoops. I had let it slip that Ted was a medical professional). I decided that I would give out a little more information. I told Officer M that Ted was an opthomologist and that during an eye exam how Ted had fondeled me during the part of the exam when you put your chin on the chin rest and look into the bright light.
Again, officer M asked me if I said no. I told officer M that there was a waiting room full of patients and I didn't want to make a scene. I didn't want to run the risk of Ted turning the tables and saying that I was the one that had instigated the sexual contact. Officer M said that really there was nothing that the police could do. He also explained that there are different " rules" that they go by in relation to a child sexual assault and an adult sexual assault.
Ted is a FUCKING sexual preditor. He has/had other victims but the police can't /won't do anything about it. Officer M did say that even if they did charge Ted in the office incident that it was only a misdemenor. And he said that from previous experience that without the victim saying no the defence would say it was consentual. Even if I did say no what good would it do? Ted would lie in court and say that it was consensual
Because I didn't say no, the Cheyenne police will not even take a report. Because I didn't say no, that says that what Ted did to me was consensual. Because I didn't say no that probably gave Dr. Laughlin the indication that it was O K for him to Rape me too. Because I wanted it to happen I was some kind of SLUT that would let anyone have their way with me.
I told officer M about how we here at Male survivor distinguish the difference between a victim and a survivor. A victim is a statistic. A survivor is a fighter. It seemed he didn't even care if I became another victim. Why the FUCK even bother.
I will admit that becoming a victim has crossed my mind tonight. But that would not accomplish what I want to do. I want to expose all three of my perps and I want to expose the system that is broken.
While this is a long post I do have an idea. Ted's son is also an Opthomologit here in town. I think I will print out a copy of this and send it to him telling his son the hell that his father has put me through in my life.
Ted's son lives in a big fancy house on "Daddy Big Bucks Lane" and Ted lives in a condo on "Retired Rich Bitch Lane". The family are very prominent in the community donating to the Symphony, Little Theater and other civic organizations. Maybe the people of Cheyenne should know "the rest of the story" behind this " wonderful" man. I would not blackmail them. That is not what this is about. Getting every sexual preditor put where they belong . Where they cannot hurt another person .. that is what this is all about.
It is 1:45 in the morning. I need to try to get some sleep. I will take me meds and try to sleep. Hopefully it will not be another nightmare of Ted or Dr. Laughlin raping me.
Thanks for all the support that I get here at Male Survivor,
John
Just because I am gay does not mean that I want to sleep with every guy I see. I have my standards and Ted is far from them. Always has been always will be.