leosha,
i don't know what to say my friend. i really don't. i see your pain even from this distance and wish that i could be closer to help you through it. what is it that you can no longer do? come here and read the posts? respond to the posts? deal with your own through the posts? what ever you decide, my brother, i just pray you do not do alone. you will never be alone again so long as you have people praying for you and are willing to be there with you, in spirit, if not in body.