Baseball **Possible Trigger**

Baseball **Possible Trigger**
F

FlyWM

Registrant
Hey guys, this is kinda hard for me, but needed to vent it out a little. I am big into baseball, and have been all my life, in fact I played for years, and some major league teams were even after me. But then a couple of years ago, my coach hurt my knee really bad, in fact I still can't run.

I played baseball from the time I was 6, and my coach um abused me in everyway you can think of from then until he hurt my knee. He tied me up from time to time while he um abused me, but one time in Oct. a couple of years ago he tied me wrong or I moved wrong or something, and it destroyed my knee, totally, didn't have surgery on it, but I still have trouble with it all the time. While I was big in baseball, locally I was known as the "Baseball Golden Boy" and was always in the press, but after my knee was hurt I became a big joke, in fact last weekend was the anniversary of when my knee was hurt and they had an article about me in the local paper again "THe Golden Boy is Still Alive??" was the headline, that got to me, but the thing that really killed me was they said I am emotionally unstable and some other things, and a lot of local people believe it and all I get now are these wierd looks, and it is killing me.

I love baseball still, but at times when I watch it, it brings up some really bad memories, in fact I was wathing the World Series game earlier, and caused a rather nasty flashback, I love the game. I hate that my coach took it away from me, I have always loved the game, and I always will, but he stole that from me when I was reaching my peak and nearly got a major league contract. SOrry to rant like this, but watching the game tonight brought everything back up and I just needed to get it out.

scott
 
Scott,

Our abusers take different things away from us. The most important thing they rob all of us, though, is our innocence and self-worth. The fact that he not only took away something you feel passionate about (I'm a Mass boy, we are ALL ABOUT baseball here...:-)) but the skill to participate in it is unconscionable and horrendous. I felt your pain and terror. That he also felt the need to take away your power to resist, to say no, brought back my own memories. It's horrible this happened to you.

Please believe me when I say you are taking back the control that a*****e took from you. You still enjoy baseball, despite the memories. You are able to talk about these things, regardless of the initial pain. You are the man this unutterable f****r can never be!

Scott, I feel for you. I hope that someday you can enjoy the thing you love so much without the pain and fear. I hope to be free of my pain someday too. I know we both will be!

Peace and love (and YANKEES SUCK! :D )
Scot
 
Scott,
Our preps steal so much from us, I am sorry for your loss of an activity that meant so much to you. How about becoming a little league coach or a mentor through Big Brothers or some such. Your talents can be put to use, share your abilities.
I have been mentoring a 10 year old boy for a year now and he has made a tremendous difference in my life. I am not a baseball nut but I can really make a model car or build something from wood and if this helps him, it really helps me.
Teach with the talents you have.
Good luck in you journey, the good days can and will outnumber the bad
Bob
 
Scot

you have been through so much and i wish you weren't being hurt publically like from the newspaper article. don't let that get to you, you love baseball and can still enjoy it. that b*****d took so much from you but don't let that stop you from loving the game. you deserve to be happy and you can rise above this, you are strong. i wish none of us had a reason to be here...i could feel the pain in your words and my heart goes out to you.

Kip
 
Scot, it sounds like you are still fairly young. Like Bob said, you could do something in coaching kids. BUT, I am feeling furious at the newspaper article. I would think that you could sue them for defamation of character. To publicly say that you are emotionally unstable is a huge mistake on the editors part. He or she knows that they crossed the line with that remark.

Is there more than one newspaper where you are? Or a TV station in town? The reason I ask is, that IF you are ready to go public, this would be a good time to give an interview as to how it happened that you were injured. Of course, you would have to be ready for what happens when we go public. So, it would be good to read Ken Singer's article on confronting our perp. The article is listed under the Survivors drop down menu on our site here. I could say a lot about how I felt once I went public with my abuse. It was freeig and it was scarrey. I never felt so vulnerable as an adult.

Here is the link to the article I mentioned:
https://www.malesurvivor.org/Survivors/Adult%20Survivors/Articles/singer3.htm

Bob
 
Scot I think that Bob has offered some really good advice. Read that article. And remember something else. You are not alone anymore we are all here for you.
 
Scott,

What Scot said is what I felt when I read what you wrote. Injustice is too mild a word for how you were injured. and hearing how you are presented publicly by the media make me even more angry. I'm glad you were able to vent here.
Take care,
Ken
 
Skoshka, I understand very well what you are speaking of, as you know. Especially now that I make the decision I did of my own athletic future. I do think that the love of the sport can extend beyond playing it. Someone who knows the game as you, and has such passion of it, can be a wonderful person as teacher or coach of it to others. And believe me, to work with children who have such enthusiasm of everything, it is wonderful thing. It will give you back some of the happiness you had while playing. And also give you good feelings of yourself.

leosha
 
Thank you all for replying, I think the trying to coach little league is a good idea, be the coach I wish I had. Right now, I don't really care what the paper says, don't have the energy or time right now to sue them, and I definately am not ready for anything of my past to go public. BUt I will look into possibly coaching. I do appreciate that you all responded, just watching the ball game brought it all back I needed to let it out.

Scott
 
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