bad

[Trevor]

i feel like shit today
just wanted to say that outloud
or type it outloud
i dont mean to complain
i hate my stepsister, i hate my stepfather, i
especially hate my stepbrother and all his
stupid arrogant jock friends, i hate my
therapist, i mostly hate myself
i have to go and stay with my stupid
stupid drunkass bitch ass mother this weekend,
that means babysitting, worrying if shes
gonna make it home alive and then worrying
who the fuck she's gonna bring home with
her when she does get there
fuck
sorry. thinking maybe saying it here will
help me not to go out looking for a fite and
keep me from burning myself or trying something
stupid u know?
sometimes i wish they just killed me when they
had the chance. its not like i didnt ask
them to
im on this othr group that i joined and some
guy was trying to tell me that i needed a
hug. i told him to go and fuck himself.
i hate being touched anyways.
i have to stop here

 

[roadrunner]

Trevor,

Don't be sorry for saying all this. Let it out. I am the one who is sorry, sorry that you have to live like this.

You are right. By talking about all this you "let it out", and that makes it less likely that you will feel the need to do other things, perhaps things that can hurt you, to express your feelings.

The guy who told you you need a hug may just have been trying to be supportive, but yeah, bad idea to go there with a survivor just starting out in recovery. Chances are he will have a big problem with being touched.

Stop when you need to Trevor. Start again when you can. I see you are posting a lot. That's good. Just find your own pace.

Much love,
Larry