Bad thing I do, maybe is trigger

[ak]

I tell one other person this last night. Persons ask me before if I do self harm to myself, and I think it is no, because I cut myself only once, and only to see if I will feel it, and I didn't. So I did not do it again. But I think it is not true, that there is something I do. I make myself to throw up, a lot, sometimes two or three times each day. It feels to me like it is getting 'them' out of me. I know I feel it is so much easier this week, when I had flue, I did not have to work at it so much. But I know it is not good thing for me. I do not know why I write this here. I just felt I need to 'say' it to more then one person, like it make me more acountable. Thank you.

Andrei

 

[theo]

andrei,
thank you for sharing that. i understand the element of control that such things give us. for me, it use to be that i made myself immune to pain. i was in control of what i allowed myself to feel. by sharing this with us, you are correct, it does help with your feeling of accountability. i am here if you need me, andrei. take care.