bad days for therapists???

bad days for therapists???
M

markgreyblue

Registrant
i know that we all have our bad days -
it seems that therapists do to?? who knew??

hehe -

but seriously my therapist on a day (and in a progression of visits where i am winding down on intensive therapy )- instead of gearing me down - chose a really combative approach to dealing with me -
i argued the points - point per point - but was left with a really bad taste in my mouth -

i really felt he was becoming so emotional and irrational that - there were indeed irrational thoughts on my part - and projections i could not help but be tempted to think:
he is sad that it is ending too -
he will miss me as i know i will miss him?? ( or is that wishful thinking )
or is he wanting to string me along for more money
- which i cannot afford -

i really feel like i have done the work here - and was unfortunately set off so that i could not
discuss rationally my experience of his words or his presentation of his ideas -
plus the ideas were discussed so close to the end of the session - yet another bad choice on his part i might add (dig)that i could not fully respond -

I may seem petty here?? but i am really tired of thinking these men are infallable and they are not-
clearly - i hate though - having to interpret them
- therapists - in way that is seemingly - the benefit of the doubt mentality -

i am just frustrated and angry - and recieve more support from you all than i do from therapists
sometimes - well a lot -

love you all - and thanks for the rant -
 
They certainly do make mistakes.

I would hope that in spite of a therapist's disappointments or whatever at the time of closure, he/she would maintain a professional distance and calm, easing the process not making it more difficult.

I am fortunate that my therapist does not have bad days in that sense and fortunate too that the term of therapy is pretty much open but, that being said, it does seem sometimes like she is about to doze off.

I usually see her late in the day so that is hardly surprising (I think she starts fairly early and that she may be up late taking care of her partner who has a chronic illness).

Everybody has a backstory or two or more. To begin with we only see surfaces and with most people we encounter that is about all we ever see.

I am trying to keep that in mind now as I try to hear and see things without the distortion that was/is an effect of the abuse I experienced. I like when I can to assume the best intentions on the part of people I encounter.

Still, given the professional relationship with a therapist that is only natural to expect, we shouldn't have to be concerned with his/her backstory.

Seems to me that he was not in control of himself and the session as you were right to expect him to be.
 
Therapists are women and men doing a job. But they are more than that to us. So, I suspect that if is rather difficult to terminate with us, if they have forged a kind of bond with us.

We all have bad days. I am not sure what a T can do if they have a bad day and have clients they have to see. It is a tough call--I do not like cancellations, but I also need my therapist to be fully alert and working with me.

I hope things go better the next time Markgreyblue.

Bob
 
Therapists are human. Though I've had some days when I felt super-competent and days I've felt slightly off, I've never had what I would call a "bad day" in which I should have cancelled appointments. Maybe it's a matter of pace and not working too many hours.

You wrote:
i really felt he was becoming so emotional and irrational that - there were indeed irrational thoughts on my part - and projections i could not help but be tempted to think:
he is sad that it is ending too -
he will miss me as i know i will miss him?? ( or is that wishful thinking )
or is he wanting to string me along for more money
- which i cannot afford -
Click to expand...
There may be countertransference issues going on with the therapist. He may be experiencing the loss of you as something from another time in his life. As therapists, we need to be aware of countertransference. That's what supervision (whether paid or peer) is about. Any time a client of mine pushes some buttons in me, I know I need to talk with my wife (who is also a therapist) or one of my close friends who are as well, to figure out what is going on with me.

I suggest you see him in a few weeks, after the immediate situation has cooled down a lot for you and schedule another appointment to talk about what happened in this last one. You shouldn't walk away wondering if you did something wrong and he should be honest enough with you to assess whether he was having countertransference with you. It can help give some closure to the relationship.

I have former clients come back from time to time when they feel the need to get back into therapy with someone who has helped in the past and doesn't need a bunch of sessions to bring them up to speed. Therefore, ending with "I'll call you down the road if I need to" as opposed to feeling bad about the way it ended, gives both of you a better sense of completion (for now, or maybe for good).

Just my thoughts on it.

Ken
 
In the counsellor training I'm doing the importance of 'endings' is stressed over and over again.

The aim is to gently wind things down to a state where it's like wishing a friend "good luck" before they go on a round the world tour for a couple of years.

Maybe some counsellors have different ideas - and think that leaving the client with a bunch of challenges is the way to go ?
I prefer the first version myself.

Dave
 
Mark,

Sorry about your recent bad session. Sounds like a topic of discussion at the next session. If there is a next session, I couldn't quite tell.

Are you interpreting the therapist or yourself? Either way, it is no fun. That's an understatement. My therapist will make a statement to me as we are walking down the hallway after the session. Some of these are a bit bazare, but puts a seed in my head. Sometimes I don't figure them out, most of the times I do. They really get me thinking. That's probably the point of doing it, I can't try to make a quick response to it in session. Instead, it sticks with me and gets some serious consideration.

Take care,
Bill
 
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