Bad boy's.

Bad boy's.
L

Lloydy

Registrant
Ste, 'Reality2k4'made this comment on a different topic -

I got to a point were I smashed all of the toys that I really loved,
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I did that as well, and I wasn't abused at home or by any family member.

My dad was a very good craftsman, very skilled with his hands, and he made all kinds of wonderful toys for me, and my brother before me.

I smashed most of them over the years I was being abused. It must have been a cry for help? but nobody noticed, or if they did they just thought I was a bad boy and never got to the cause.

I was also a petty thief and vandal, would fight anyone, started smoking and stealing booze from my dads stash at the same time. I wasn't a nice kid at that time.

The sad thing is we seem to see so much more of these behaviours today, or maybe we're more observant? - whatever, the point is - what does society do to get to the root of these bad behaviours?
Very little sadly, and as much as people want to intervene where other peoples kids are concerned there's little any individual can do, but the families can - if they have some information available that says "if your child suddenly starts misbehaving, then find out WHY!"

Dave
 
Dave, I smashed all my toys because I was just p*ssed off with being an abused boy.

Nobody understood my fears and terrors that he faced, nobody could be in the nightmares, so toys just became something he could smash to pieces.

Yeah, he missed those toys, but I think it was more like a cry for help than to smash his toys.

I suppose he smashed them because his family did not realise the hurt inside the boy.

No boy wants to smash the toys he loves, but I suppose he could never really relate to them as toys becaus his brother taunted him about having a train set.

There is a lot more in my life where my father protected me, but it couses hurt.

If I go back to the train set, then I maybe understand the hurt.

I suppose yeah, my older brother could not understand the hurt, and maybe he tries to find out, but how do you tell him?

He used my hurt against me, which was bad, and he made me smash my toys that I loved so much, because he could never understand my hurt.

I can only think that my abuse caused me problems throughout life, and I have to adjust somehow to this effect.

Yeah, I probably had ADHD. and maybe other thoings too, but it never made him bad, but he just cannot hide anymore.

ste
 
I didn't have a lot of stuff, but I wrecked what I had. Got mad and threw them at the wall. Didn't take long til they were all busted up. The only thing I won't break that some people see as a "toy" is my skateboard. I'm super protective of it cos its almost like my life in a way. I'm okay I guess but it means a lot to me.

Yeah, I got into fights, still do sometimes too. I don't mean to but it all just builds up. I guess thats why I picked the screen name I did. I dunno.
 
I put my foot through a guitar. It was my prized possession at the time. Thought my dad would kill me. The man who later couldn't bring himself to congratulate me on being the first in my family to graduate from college sure had no problem telling me just how he felt about that guitar.
 
Dave,

for me the 'toys' where the only things that I could take my anger out on... - I was never allowed to express anger towards either of my parents - NEVER...

I loved what toys I did have - I honestly did'nt wreck them purposefully - but I did play with them rougher than I think I would have had I been allowed to expres my emmotions openly instead of being forced to bottle them all up inside of me...

TJ jeff
 
I acted up a lot, and looking back now I can see I was trying to get my parents to figure out what I was too scared to tell them. It amazed me: Time after time I would come home from a Scout trip missing a set of underpants (I had thrown them away) and they never figured it out. I felt worthless so I made crude sexual drawings and let them lay around so I would get caught and punished. My abuser told me if I didn't get in the car, who knows, someone might run over our dog, so after that I started to be mean to the dog. I would be told to do something and I would deliberately do it wrong or mess it up, just wanting so bad for them to see!

What a nightmare. I think any boy trapped and hurt like we were, and then finding no way to express his feelings, would react like we see in this thread. Either like this or getting into things like drinking, drugs, cutting, running away, and so forth.

Larry
 
Larry - Reading your post brought back memories! I did the same things but, I don't know, parents just are hard to catch on!! Thanks for posting!!

Howard
 
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I too had many calls for help as a child. My calls for help were slightly different. I would take the excrement from my anus and smear it on the walls in my bed room. I would do it at night when i was in bed by myself. I always hoped that someone would notice what i did, but that did not happen. One time my brother and sister told my parents about the walls and all my parents did was laugh about it and make fun of me. It has never been mentioned again in my family's history.

Jonathan
 
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