Back in the bedroom (not about sex)
It's been several months since I have been able to sleep in my bed. This weekend I have, without incident. It feels so good to be back in my bed.
I had been suffering from night terror for awhile. I would lie in bed and start to panic,etc. and come out to the living room to settle down, and try it all over again. Eventually I should get tired enough to fall asleep. It got to the point that sleep never came. So I reverted to sleeping on the couch. This is something that has come and gone for many years, with me sleeping on the couch or in a spare room until it passed. Usually about once a year for about 4-6 weeks, this year was a bit longer. But of course, this year I am working on this shit and not ignoring it.
The fear of sleep and its associated panic/anxiety is not as bad on the couch. I don't understand why, but it is what it is. I can understand why it would involve the bed. As a child, my older brother would beat me up while I was sleeping; the SA from perp #1 and #2 primarily took place on a bed; The beatings from ex #1 usually started while I was in bed, only the last time did it occur otherwise. The SA from perp #4 was usually on the couch. That is why I don't understand why the couch doesn't affect me as much. Maybe it's a quantitive thing.
Anyways, seven weeks ago,I went to the pdoc regarding this. After two changes in medication, the last being almost a month ago, I have been able to sleep. Although I continued to use the couch. This weekend, I decided it was past time to be in my bed. And it has been two very nice nights, I should have done this a couple of weeks ago.
Bill
I had been suffering from night terror for awhile. I would lie in bed and start to panic,etc. and come out to the living room to settle down, and try it all over again. Eventually I should get tired enough to fall asleep. It got to the point that sleep never came. So I reverted to sleeping on the couch. This is something that has come and gone for many years, with me sleeping on the couch or in a spare room until it passed. Usually about once a year for about 4-6 weeks, this year was a bit longer. But of course, this year I am working on this shit and not ignoring it.
The fear of sleep and its associated panic/anxiety is not as bad on the couch. I don't understand why, but it is what it is. I can understand why it would involve the bed. As a child, my older brother would beat me up while I was sleeping; the SA from perp #1 and #2 primarily took place on a bed; The beatings from ex #1 usually started while I was in bed, only the last time did it occur otherwise. The SA from perp #4 was usually on the couch. That is why I don't understand why the couch doesn't affect me as much. Maybe it's a quantitive thing.
Anyways, seven weeks ago,I went to the pdoc regarding this. After two changes in medication, the last being almost a month ago, I have been able to sleep. Although I continued to use the couch. This weekend, I decided it was past time to be in my bed. And it has been two very nice nights, I should have done this a couple of weeks ago.
Bill
