Back. For what it's worth, I'm back.

Back. For what it's worth, I'm back.
L

Leosha

Registrant
Well, I really have not been here much responding since before I went into the hospital, and that has been over a month now. I'm getting to the point where I can stay awake for more than an hour at a time, and can even go out and move around some without totally losing my breath. In another week or so, I'm thinking I might even feel fully human again. Wonders don't cease.

Been some up and down mentally, not related to the physical. Been having lot of dreams, that are like half memories, but are incorrect memories. Like, of something that happen, but the wrong person doing it. Been having a bit more panic. Maybe that goes together, I get some energy back, I get some panic back. Oh joy. Oh well. It goes with the deal. It goes with being a survivor. I can take it.

Been dealing with some issues, as always. But for some reason, I feel mostly strong. I do fall apart some at times, when the panic goes back in. I do lose myself sometime still. But I have been dealing with it, and I will continue to. I am realizing that failure is not an option. To fail is to not live, and they took enough of my life. Fuck them. No more. I will not hand over more of my life to them. I know that I will still have the ups and downs, and I know that I will still have some negative feelings at times. But it is becoming clearer to me that they won't win. The negative will not win, it won't kill me. I am feeling for the first time in my life that I am truly 'back' from everything that happened. It's taken some 20 years, but I am back.

Now, what the hell do I do with myself?? ;)

Good night. The responding spree is over. I'll have to get the other forums on another day!

Leosha
 
Leosha,

It's good to see you back online. It's very good to hear the steel in your resolve.

Welcome back!

Joe
 
Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude!

You're back! :D

I'm so glad you're feeling better. And that you're kickin @$$ about living. As Sinatra once said, "you've gotta love livin', baby, because dyin's a pain in the @$$!"

Ah, those great philosophers of the United States! :p

But you are, as always, an inspiration. And I'm so frigging glad you're doing better.

Get out and enjoy something, as long as it's not TOO physically draining.

Then get back to bed and take care of yourself! :D

Welcome back!

Peace and love,

Scot
 
Leosha what the hell do you do with yourself.

I will tell you. Be the kind, gentle, artistic and athletic young man you were always meant to be at peace with yourself with no internalized anger. Strengthen the relationships you have and START TO REALLY LIVE LIFE AND ENJOY IT. YOU DESERVE IT BROTHER.
 
Once again you come out on top, stronger and wiser from your experiences. I hope you have a conquering smile on your face and are energized by your victory.
:)
 
For what it's worth, you being back is worth a lot. As for what the hell to do with yourself...hell get an Xbox man! :)
 
Leosha
I've missed you man ! you take care of yourself and get even stronger.

Dave :)
 
leosha,
it is good to have you back on the site. sometimes i wonder how we survivors keep on going...it is the strength that we don't see within us at those times, the same strength that helped us to survive. welcome back, bro.
 
It's worth a lot. Happy to see you back and sounding so positive.
 
YEAH!!!!!

We ALL missed and worried about you!

Glad you are here again!

PEACE!

TJ :) :cool: :D ;) :p
 
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