Associating safety with a sex partner
Through regular EMDR, I'm understanding that part of me thinks that anyone who wants to have sex with me is automatically evil and that sex with another person is automatically abuse.
Obviously this isn't true, but since being sexually abused by my ex-wife these cognitive distortions have become completely ingrained. While I want to have sex with my current wife, part of me deliberately sabotages myself to make sex impossible between us. While I want to live in harmony with her, I assume any neutral word from her is anger, and I emotionally attack her before she can attack me.
How in the hell do I fix this??
Obviously this isn't true, but since being sexually abused by my ex-wife these cognitive distortions have become completely ingrained. While I want to have sex with my current wife, part of me deliberately sabotages myself to make sex impossible between us. While I want to live in harmony with her, I assume any neutral word from her is anger, and I emotionally attack her before she can attack me.
How in the hell do I fix this??