Are we abusers by the very fact we were abused!

Are we abusers by the very fact we were abused!
OK how many people are abused but never mention it to anyone?

How many abusers lie and say they were abused because its an easy / semi acceptable way out?

If you can find the answer to these questions you will get an accurate percentage. Sadly I don't think we ever will.

Abuser lie and manipulate to abuse. It would be wrong to think these lies stop when they are asked to face their crimes.
 
Mark I don't know how accurate the statistics are that Mind put forward. I'm just taking these as "official" statistics and saying the statistics (the official statistics) don't justify the question the doctor put to Ste.
 
There can never be accurate figures on abuse, considering that a lot of it goes on in childrens own homes.

Claiming that you have been abused yourself, would need validating by anybody defending yourself in Court, but believe me, it is no defence if you have gone on to abuse.

I said to a barrister friend of mine, who was defending a young guy who was accused of raping two boys in scout camp.

He said. How can I tell the truth, and whether these boys are lying.
I said, give me a half hour, and I will tell you if they are lying, but why! Would they lie if it was true!

So, technically we are the only ones who can clue up barristers and the Judiciary of what abuse really is.

It leads to kids releasing their pleas in court, especially if it involves their own family or friends and 'enemies' in society.

If a boy makes an allegation of rape, then it becomes either, get the perp or leave it be.
The first part is easy, reporting it, but the second part, finding that the intrusive behaviour of barristers can be very intimidating to a child.

Imagine a child up against a barrister, and not only a child, adults too, but you have one conviction in life to nail the perp, and its like a puncture outfit.

Barristers are only the same as any guy here, they dont frighten me, they are only men and women, and they should not intimidate witnesses as we see in many Court cases.

If we consider the same Court cases, then we see a child or adult life questioned on sexually explicit subjects.

Why? Do kids keep it quiet! Becuause nobody will believe them, and this is borne out in Courts so many times.

We need a positive solution to how kids can relate to abuse in their own family lives without the need for Courts to intervene, with the kids life being the first recourse to the Court.

In othe words, take the best course of action to not displace the kid from his family, and give him a course of protection for the future.

Yeah, its not easy, and no way out really, but how can we help kids who rely on their own family for support without making them orphans,

ste
 
Mind (the mental health charity) maintain, if I remember right, that 80% of those who abuse children were themselves abused as children. If that's right then the doctor's correct to say that it's common for abusers to have been abused themselves.
Click to expand...
If you want to question this kind of assumption, consider this:
Most of the heroin addicts in rehab will say that they started out with marijuana. If you conclude that marijuana leads to heroin, you miss the fact that the overwhelming number of marijuana users NEVER go on to use heroin/don't get caught, etc.

You can't use research based on what people who get caught claim. When researchers used polygraph on sex offenders in treatment, they found the claims of being abused in childhood went way down.

This kind of "research" only compounds the belief that getting abused makes you a higher risk of becoming an offender.
Ken
 
I was just digging on this subject, as I have read the Mind reports, and other reports that are totally meaningless.

Ken makes more sense of it, but consider this one.
If I abused a kid, would I look for a way out by saying I was also abused as a kid.

NO! It would not wash in a court, and may mean a little leniency, but the fact is, I would have subjected a child to abuse, and nothing would defend my actions.

They have not got figures of any meaning, and how could they, unless a significant proportion of those who have been abused come forward to enter the figures system.

I have to congratulate all who do break the silence, it is no mean effort.
More are coming forward as a result of their own lives being recklessly taken away.

Its time that we re-educate the educators,

ste
 
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