Are there parts of yourself that you miss?

beanbean

Registrant
This could be something you miss from before abuse. This could be something you miss from before you came out as trans. Maybe you don't remember a before, maybe you feel there is nothing to miss. Anything in this space is okay to explore <3

For me, I miss feeling safer in giving and receiving eye contact. I miss feeling more playful and open to different kinds of touch. I miss not being so guarded with being believed or not being believed.
 

ThoseNightsKMA

New Registrant
Probably sounds odd, but I played sports year round and received several awards/trophies/etc and I miss being able to put them on display (most have my old name or it was specifically a 'girls' event or tournament). I worked hard for those achievements and I'm proud of them so it's hard to just have them in a storage bin in a closet now.
Also, my dad passed a couple months prior to coming out so I miss having pictures of him and I together with other family pictures.
So I guess to sum it up, I miss having a past I can talk about openly (I stay stealth) rather than having to be very careful with how I word things to not give my past away.
 

TheoRose

New Registrant
Before the abuse, I was so goofy, like a fun loving, rebellious goofball. And people liked me, because I brought them light and smiles and hope. After it, all of that changed. I felt so taken over by a spirit of sadness, I don’t even know how to be in a group of humans anymore, most days. Sometimes I can get to a place where I feel comfortable, but it takes much longer, and sometimes people don’t have the patience to deal with that. I’m a lot to deal with after the abuse, a sad presence to be around. I miss my childlike wonder.
 
Top