*Triggers Possible* Are people normal about women here?

Triggers
*Triggers Possible* Are people normal about women here?
I'm afraid that feminist content creator Fundie Fridays has claimed (during her long video linked below) that women cannot murder, stalk or assault boys and men. Notice that no other feminists are calling her out on it. Shouldn't someone be calling her out on it? The relevant section is 54:58 - 55:23


I could only take five seconds before I had to turn that off. But here’s the thing: that’s just a crazy person doing YouTube videos. She’s not an institution. She doesn’t represent anyone but her own stupid self.

Why would anyone even know of her channel unless actively looking it up? If I were to sit down and watch people like that speak their stupid minds, I would go ballistic. So I don’t.
 
Like don't get me wrong, I know some women have done terrible things to you, but like I keep seeing phrases like "pro-vagina bias" and "me too garbage", like I get having mixed feelings about women bc some have abused you, but it's starting to look like misogyny to m

Like don't get me wrong, I know some women have done terrible things to you, but like I keep seeing phrases like "pro-vagina bias" and "me too garbage", like I get having mixed feelings about women bc some have abused you, but it's starting to look like misogyny to me.
Yes, it's so abusive for rape victims to have a hard time identifying positively with the gender of those who raped them... It's not like they have entire clinics for women who can't even look at men. Perhaps this isn't the place for you to be if you're going to get offended about rape victims seeking help
 
You realize this is male survivors of female abuse, right? I haven't seen specifically what you mentioned. Calling women out for their crimes isn't misogyny. It seems today holding women responsible is somehow misogyny. I don't hate all women. But I have been abused by women all my life, sexually, physically and emotionally until I was 33 and finally got out from under a woman. Girlfriends, friends, step mothers, my mother, grandmother and wife have all be extremely to mildly abusive to me in some way. Whether is sexual abuse as a child by my first step mother, physical and emotional abuse by my mother, neglect by my mother and second step mother to being guilted and sometimes forced into sexual acts with friends, girlfriends and my ex-wife. Can you really blame me if I'm a little misogynistic? Misogyny doesn't mean anything anymore. It has been so overused by radical feminists meaning any slight aganist women including holding them responsible for their crap or even glancing at them in public. Women get away with everything. If a man, say a teacher, were to have sex with a female student it would rightfully be called rape. But when a female teacher has sex with a male student its not rape, but an "inapporiate relationship". Even the way we talk about women commiting sexual crimes is misandrist. Women are always the victim, even if they rape children or assault men. We always make excuses for female sexual predators that puts the blame on men. Oh, she must have been abused by her father or husband and thats why she had an "inappropriate relationship" with a 13 year old boy. Its never her fault. We need to start holding women accountable like we do men.
 
You realize this is male survivors of female abuse, right? I haven't seen specifically what you mentioned. Calling women out for their crimes isn't misogyny. It seems today holding women responsible is somehow misogyny. I don't hate all women. But I have been abused by women all my life, sexually, physically and emotionally until I was 33 and finally got out from under a woman. Girlfriends, friends, step mothers, my mother, grandmother and wife have all be extremely to mildly abusive to me in some way. Whether is sexual abuse as a child by my first step mother, physical and emotional abuse by my mother, neglect by my mother and second step mother to being guilted and sometimes forced into sexual acts with friends, girlfriends and my ex-wife. Can you really blame me if I'm a little misogynistic? Misogyny doesn't mean anything anymore. It has been so overused by radical feminists meaning any slight aganist women including holding them responsible for their crap or even glancing at them in public. Women get away with everything. If a man, say a teacher, were to have sex with a female student it would rightfully be called rape. But when a female teacher has sex with a male student its not rape, but an "inapporiate relationship". Even the way we talk about women commiting sexual crimes is misandrist. Women are always the victim, even if they rape children or assault men. We always make excuses for female sexual predators that puts the blame on men. Oh, she must have been abused by her father or husband and thats why she had an "inappropriate relationship" with a 13 year old boy. Its never her fault. We need to start holding women accountable like we do men.
Top Response. Women can be abusers. That is not misogyny.
 
You realize this is male survivors of female abuse, right? I haven't seen specifically what you mentioned. Calling women out for their crimes isn't misogyny. It seems today holding women responsible is somehow misogyny. I don't hate all women. But I have been abused by women all my life, sexually, physically and emotionally until I was 33 and finally got out from under a woman. Girlfriends, friends, step mothers, my mother, grandmother and wife have all be extremely to mildly abusive to me in some way. Whether is sexual abuse as a child by my first step mother, physical and emotional abuse by my mother, neglect by my mother and second step mother to being guilted and sometimes forced into sexual acts with friends, girlfriends and my ex-wife. Can you really blame me if I'm a little misogynistic? Misogyny doesn't mean anything anymore. It has been so overused by radical feminists meaning any slight aganist women including holding them responsible for their crap or even glancing at them in public. Women get away with everything. If a man, say a teacher, were to have sex with a female student it would rightfully be called rape. But when a female teacher has sex with a male student its not rape, but an "inapporiate relationship". Even the way we talk about women commiting sexual crimes is misandrist. Women are always the victim, even if they rape children or assault men. We always make excuses for female sexual predators that puts the blame on men. Oh, she must have been abused by her father or husband and thats why she had an "inappropriate relationship" with a 13 year old boy. Its never her fault. We need to start holding women accountable like we do men.
I'm so sorry for what you've been through brother, hugs.

I don't really like to talk about this, but I agree with almost everything you said and I'd like to add on my opinion. As a male survivor of female abuse, I think there's almost no other way to positively see women (at least from a male survivor's perspective). But obviously, it's pretty harmful to generalize and put everyone into this category. Women do the same thing with men when they say "all men," and men feel like it's not fair, right? It makes it seem like those men feel called out and are defending male abusers. But in this one, I think I understand female survivors too. For me, I'm scared of all men and all women until proven to be safe people. It comes off as hate, but I don't think it's hate, it’s just fear and trauma speaking.

From my experience, I grew up being abused by both male and female abusers alike, so I know firsthand that both can be equally evil. I think What makes female abusers get away with it is not entirely women's fault or deflection, in my opinion. One of the reasons might be because men don't take male survivors seriously, of which female abusers take advantage, I've seen this behavior in my own culture, and I thought maybe it's different in the West, that maybe men there have a different mindset. I thought if I said I was abused by a woman, I wouldn't be ridiculed and called a pussy. But I think it's a universal thing. When men are shamed for being abused by women, it comes from the fact that those men don't see women as equals. They think they're superior, especially in terms of physical strength, believing they can handle a woman easily. So they see women as these soft, innocent, submissive humans who can't possibly harm a man. But in fact, a woman can abuse just as much as a man can, often in ways you might not even realize. Women can be master manipulators. They can smile at you but be quietly plotting your downfall. They might not have the physical advantage in most cases, but they can manipulate, drug, and use you. That's a huge problem because now nobody believes that "a woman fucked you up" and that there’s no way you didn’t have some consent in letting it happen. That mindset really triggers me. Women use that too, to deflect and seem innocent, hence getting away with it.

Aside from that, I can't count how many times I've seen loud men not being supportive of us male survivors online. I fucking hope it doesn’t translate to real life, because most social media users hide behind a screen to talk shit. But from what I've repeatedly seen online under article headlines about a man being sexually assaulted by a woman, I was shocked by the amount of men laughing at it. They say things like, "Oh, she's hot, he won", "I wish it was me", "that's a win for him," and other deranged comments. What really surprised me was the number of women, most of them seemed to be female survivors as well, leaving empathetic messages for the guy instead of making fun of the situation. I found it insane because I expected the men to be more supportive. Then I realized why no one takes men abused by women seriously—because those same men are loudly making fun of it. And then we wonder why men don’t speak up for themselves, why men find it hard to admit that a woman abused them. It’s because of the social shame, that it’s "not masculine," that "you’re weaker than a woman." So I don’t really expect women to speak for us men. They’re already doing a good job speaking for themselves and shedding light on what happens to female victims and being loud about it. That’s why I was shocked to find this site even exists. At one point, I felt like men who would understand were a minority. In my culture, it’s more believable if I say a man raped me versus a woman. So I'm grateful for this site, full of men who understand how fucking shitty it is to deal with the trauma you're left with after being assaulted, whether by a man or a woman.

I really don’t like how this whole thing is turning into a gender war because it distracts us from the real issue—holding male or female abusers accountable, should be addressed as who they really are, "male abusers/rapists/criminals", "female abusers/rapists/criminals". It shouldn’t be a competition of who does it worse, or who does it more, and no one should be defending these horrible people just to make their gender look good. People should focus on change and betterment, not on undermining each other’s voices. We need to advocate for change.

Most of what I see are some men and women who aren't even victims speaking for us survivors, because they don't like the fact that their genders are being painted in a bad light, most of them don't even believe what we went through, they don't even care. They can’t relate, so to them, what we went through doesn’t exist or made up. Unfortunately, these people are louder than us survivors who went through horrifying shit. So you’ll find a lot of men and women screaming "misogyny" or "misandry" to defend their gender, when in fact we’re just calling out the male or female abusers.
 
I'm so sorry for what you've been through brother, hugs.

I don't really like to talk about this, but I agree with almost everything you said and I'd like to add on my opinion. As a male survivor of female abuse, I think there's almost no other way to positively see women (at least from a male survivor's perspective). But obviously, it's pretty harmful to generalize and put everyone into this category. Women do the same thing with men when they say "all men," and men feel like it's not fair, right? It makes it seem like those men feel called out and are defending male abusers. But in this one, I think I understand female survivors too. For me, I'm scared of all men and all women until proven to be safe people. It comes off as hate, but I don't think it's hate, it’s just fear and trauma speaking.

From my experience, I grew up being abused by both male and female abusers alike, so I know firsthand that both can be equally evil. I think What makes female abusers get away with it is not entirely women's fault or deflection, in my opinion. One of the reasons might be because men don't take male survivors seriously, of which female abusers take advantage, I've seen this behavior in my own culture, and I thought maybe it's different in the West, that maybe men there have a different mindset. I thought if I said I was abused by a woman, I wouldn't be ridiculed and called a pussy. But I think it's a universal thing. When men are shamed for being abused by women, it comes from the fact that those men don't see women as equals. They think they're superior, especially in terms of physical strength, believing they can handle a woman easily. So they see women as these soft, innocent, submissive humans who can't possibly harm a man. But in fact, a woman can abuse just as much as a man can, often in ways you might not even realize. Women can be master manipulators. They can smile at you but be quietly plotting your downfall. They might not have the physical advantage in most cases, but they can manipulate, drug, and use you. That's a huge problem because now nobody believes that "a woman fucked you up" and that there’s no way you didn’t have some consent in letting it happen. That mindset really triggers me. Women use that too, to deflect and seem innocent, hence getting away with it.

Aside from that, I can't count how many times I've seen loud men not being supportive of us male survivors online. I fucking hope it doesn’t translate to real life, because most social media users hide behind a screen to talk shit. But from what I've repeatedly seen online under article headlines about a man being sexually assaulted by a woman, I was shocked by the amount of men laughing at it. They say things like, "Oh, she's hot, he won", "I wish it was me", "that's a win for him," and other deranged comments. What really surprised me was the number of women, most of them seemed to be female survivors as well, leaving empathetic messages for the guy instead of making fun of the situation. I found it insane because I expected the men to be more supportive. Then I realized why no one takes men abused by women seriously—because those same men are loudly making fun of it. And then we wonder why men don’t speak up for themselves, why men find it hard to admit that a woman abused them. It’s because of the social shame, that it’s "not masculine," that "you’re weaker than a woman." So I don’t really expect women to speak for us men. They’re already doing a good job speaking for themselves and shedding light on what happens to female victims and being loud about it. That’s why I was shocked to find this site even exists. At one point, I felt like men who would understand were a minority. In my culture, it’s more believable if I say a man raped me versus a woman. So I'm grateful for this site, full of men who understand how fucking shitty it is to deal with the trauma you're left with after being assaulted, whether by a man or a woman.

I really don’t like how this whole thing is turning into a gender war because it distracts us from the real issue—holding male or female abusers accountable, should be addressed as who they really are, "male abusers/rapists/criminals", "female abusers/rapists/criminals". It shouldn’t be a competition of who does it worse, or who does it more, and no one should be defending these horrible people just to make their gender look good. People should focus on change and betterment, not on undermining each other’s voices. We need to advocate for change.

Most of what I see are some men and women who aren't even victims speaking for us survivors, because they don't like the fact that their genders are being painted in a bad light, most of them don't even believe what we went through, they don't even care. They can’t relate, so to them, what we went through doesn’t exist or made up. Unfortunately, these people are louder than us survivors who went through horrifying shit. So you’ll find a lot of men and women screaming "misogyny" or "misandry" to defend their gender, when in fact we’re just calling out the male or female abusers.
I hear you. I've been abused by both men and women. My step father physically abused me. And only once I remember my step mother invited a male person to join in raping me. As far as I know that only happened once. She held me down while he did his thing. Anyway, I understand not all women are that way. But like you said I too don't trust anyone, but especially women. I didn't have anyone to tell. My mother was passed out drunk all the time, and my father was oblivious. He still is. He refuses to acknowledge my abuse. He never abused me. In fact, he was the only stable caregiver I had. I had some babysitters before that were pretty nice though. I think society tends to view women as victims and men as perpatrators. I've been told I was lucky, I should man up, I should think about the real victims (girls/women), that it woudn't effect me as much because I'm male, I'm lying for attention. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten some support from women, like my mom (now that she's sober), my aunt and my therapist. But I still have trouble with women. I hate being around women I don't know in public. I've had several women approach me for dates since I've started going back to the gym. It makes me very nervous and unconfortable. I've had to politely turn them down and walk away. I had one woman at a bar grab my crotch and tell me she'll make it worth my while. I was shaking afterward and left. I wish I could trust women, but I find it impossible. Even my ex wife pressured me into sex all the time, especially oral sex which I hate. I don't go out into pubic as much anymore because people make me nervous. I can never date again, I feel like I'd just be taken advantage of. Anyway thats my rant sorry for rambling.
 
I hear you. I've been abused by both men and women. My step father physically abused me. And only once I remember my step mother invited a male person to join in raping me. As far as I know that only happened once. She held me down while he did his thing. Anyway, I understand not all women are that way. But like you said I too don't trust anyone, but especially women. I didn't have anyone to tell. My mother was passed out drunk all the time, and my father was oblivious. He still is. He refuses to acknowledge my abuse. He never abused me. In fact, he was the only stable caregiver I had. I had some babysitters before that were pretty nice though. I think society tends to view women as victims and men as perpatrators. I've been told I was lucky, I should man up, I should think about the real victims (girls/women), that it woudn't effect me as much because I'm male, I'm lying for attention. Don't get me wrong, I've gotten some support from women, like my mom (now that she's sober), my aunt and my therapist. But I still have trouble with women. I hate being around women I don't know in public. I've had several women approach me for dates since I've started going back to the gym. It makes me very nervous and unconfortable. I've had to politely turn them down and walk away. I had one woman at a bar grab my crotch and tell me she'll make it worth my while. I was shaking afterward and left. I wish I could trust women, but I find it impossible. Even my ex wife pressured me into sex all the time, especially oral sex which I hate. I don't go out into pubic as much anymore because people make me nervous. I can never date again, I feel like I'd just be taken advantage of. Anyway thats my rant sorry for rambling.
Brother, You went through a lot, especially since you’ve experienced abuse from both men and women, and it's clear that it’s left you deeply mistrustful of others, especially women. I’m sorry you had to go through that with your stepmother. Holding you down while another person raped you is something that no one should ever have to experience, even once. I can relate, except it was my own biological mother.

It’s good that you understand not all women are like that, but I get it, trusting anyone after going through that kind of trauma, especially women, can feel impossible.

Not having anyone to turn to is another layer of pain. When your mother was too drunk to help, and your father was oblivious, it must’ve felt like you were completely alone. Even now, with your father refusing to acknowledge your abuse, it’s almost like your experience is being erased. I imagine that cuts deep. Even though he wasn’t the one who hurt you, his refusal to validate what you went through can still feel like a betrayal. It’s good to hear that your mother, now sober, along with your aunt and therapist, have given you some support. But I can tell that, no matter how much support you get, it doesn’t change the fact that trusting women, especially strangers, feels like a huge hurdle.

I can understand why being around unfamiliar women in public would make you nervous, especially with the history you have. It’s no surprise that even well-meaning advances from women would feel threatening, especially when some of those advances cross boundaries, like what happened at that bar. Having a woman grab your crotch and say she’ll make it worth your while...that’s assault, plain and simple. No one has the right to do that to you. I can see how it would shake you up and make you want to withdraw from public places.

Your ex wife pressuring you into sex all the time, especially oral sex which you hate, that’s another kind of violation. Consent isn’t just about saying “no” or “yes”, it’s about feeling safe enough to say what you do and don’t want, and if you felt pressured or coerced, that’s a serious issue. It’s no wonder you feel like dating again isn’t an option, you’ve been taken advantage of in the past, and no one should have to put themselves in a situation where they feel that could happen again.

You don't need to apologize for what you shared. Your feelings and experiences are valid, and you're not rambling, you're speaking your truth. If anything, you deserve to be heard more, without judgment. Do reach out brother and take a good care of yourself. ☆
 
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