anyone
anyone
- Thread starterTrevor
- Start date
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
A very wise poet once said that "no man is an island", and I think he's right. We all need healthy and fulfilling relationships with people around us. That is part of what makes life worth living.
For survivors this gets complicated because we so frequently find ourselves feeling isolated from the world. The hurt we feel overwhelms us and tends to obliterate everything else.
But it's also true, as Scott says, that we have to live for ourselves, not for other people. You, Trev, have a right to claim happiness and a good life just for YOU, not because of other people. My own experience is that when we fight back against our bad feelings and work towards that happiness and fulfillment, other people notice changes in us and it becomes easier for them to relate to us.
Much love,
Larry
A very wise poet once said that "no man is an island", and I think he's right. We all need healthy and fulfilling relationships with people around us. That is part of what makes life worth living.
For survivors this gets complicated because we so frequently find ourselves feeling isolated from the world. The hurt we feel overwhelms us and tends to obliterate everything else.
But it's also true, as Scott says, that we have to live for ourselves, not for other people. You, Trev, have a right to claim happiness and a good life just for YOU, not because of other people. My own experience is that when we fight back against our bad feelings and work towards that happiness and fulfillment, other people notice changes in us and it becomes easier for them to relate to us.
Much love,
Larry
markgreyblue
Registrant
hey trev - sorry i've not been in touch
((()))
i had moments as this - it gets better -
keep posting - keep talking - pm me too!
mgb
((()))
i had moments as this - it gets better -
keep posting - keep talking - pm me too!
mgb
markgreyblue
Registrant
i dunno
wat if?
wat if?
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
Of course you don't want to change. That would mean taking risks and looking at things in new ways, and for survivors that feels dangerous. We so often want to stick with things the way they are because, well, that's familiar - that's what we know. Even if the way things are right now totally sucks, we tend to think that change will only make things worse, not better.
But that's the fears and bad feelings running the show. That's what makes it difficult for us. It's like having a $10.00 bill and someone offering to exchange that for a $100.00 bill that we know to be genuine, all this in an absolutely safe context. Who would refuse that? A survivor would! He will think Why is he offering me this?, What does he want from me?, Is it really $100.00?, I don't deserve $100.00, What would I do with $100.00?, I like this $10.00, and on and on and on.
Much love,
Larry
Of course you don't want to change. That would mean taking risks and looking at things in new ways, and for survivors that feels dangerous. We so often want to stick with things the way they are because, well, that's familiar - that's what we know. Even if the way things are right now totally sucks, we tend to think that change will only make things worse, not better.
But that's the fears and bad feelings running the show. That's what makes it difficult for us. It's like having a $10.00 bill and someone offering to exchange that for a $100.00 bill that we know to be genuine, all this in an absolutely safe context. Who would refuse that? A survivor would! He will think Why is he offering me this?, What does he want from me?, Is it really $100.00?, I don't deserve $100.00, What would I do with $100.00?, I like this $10.00, and on and on and on.
Much love,
Larry
markgreyblue
Registrant
make a good life for you
you are worth it !!!
you need to know it - too
when you do
you can start to see how to stick around folks
who are good for you - and learn
that taking care of you is
good fun -
it feels better and better
you are worth it !!!
you need to know it - too
when you do
you can start to see how to stick around folks
who are good for you - and learn
that taking care of you is
good fun -
it feels better and better
but dude now that you came here? well people damn sure do care if you live or die .shit dude you left for the weekend and i missed you .i felt the same way,and i have to say i got used to that feeling ,even when i wasnt pissed off or bummed out i could just think shit nobody cares and boom id be right back in that comfortable dark place where i had been for so long that i kinda liked it ,then i came here and wouldnt you know it none of my old excuses for feeling like shit worked anymore,almost pissed me off in a way cause i couldnt use my excuse of nobody cares anymore,i couldnt use that as a reason to just say fuck it ,damn it i enjoyed feeling lost and sorry for nyself ,yeah i really think i did ,it gave me an excuse to do anything i damn well pleased cause shit nobody cares so why not?dude i care if you live and i would miss you ,so just deal with it !!!lol thanks again for the help you been to me adam
roadrunner
Registrant
Trev,
Adam is playing with you in part, but at the same time he's making a really important point. That point is that he cares about you; you two have never met and perhaps you never will, but still, he cares.
Is he any less "real life" because you only know him in the Male Survivor site? The difference is that here it's safe for you, or more safe than elsewhere. As you recover you will gain confidence in yourself. You won't feel so bad about yourself as you do now, and at the same time you will be better able to relate to people in "real life" (I know what you mean).
As that happens genuinely caring and good people will have better opportunities to connect with you and you will be more willing to trust yourself and them as well. That's basically the key Trev. In order to appreciate and accept the trust and love of others we first have to be able to trust and love ourselves.
Much love,
Larry
Adam is playing with you in part, but at the same time he's making a really important point. That point is that he cares about you; you two have never met and perhaps you never will, but still, he cares.
Is he any less "real life" because you only know him in the Male Survivor site? The difference is that here it's safe for you, or more safe than elsewhere. As you recover you will gain confidence in yourself. You won't feel so bad about yourself as you do now, and at the same time you will be better able to relate to people in "real life" (I know what you mean).
As that happens genuinely caring and good people will have better opportunities to connect with you and you will be more willing to trust yourself and them as well. That's basically the key Trev. In order to appreciate and accept the trust and love of others we first have to be able to trust and love ourselves.
Much love,
Larry
