anybody else?

[A]

i hate my body. cannot stand it. constantly obsess about it, over and over, it's always negative. i'm in slightly better than average shape for my age but it makes no difference. i know everything that is "wrong" with it. my therapist has asked me to start carrying a "clicker" so that i can track how many times a day i poke, prod, flex, stretch, squeeze, feel or think about it obsessively. i constantly have a running inventory going about where the "problem" areas are. i've always been horribly self-conscious about my physical shape. nothing is ever the right size or right shape. it is driving me absolutely nuts. i have been self-conscious about it since i was 6. it affects everything. i walk around most of the time painfully aware of how i may look, as if there's this audience of critics always along for the ride. i can't relax. even when i'm laying in bed to fall asleep, i can feel which areas aren't right. my solution has always been to try to improve it but guess what? that never provides any relief. i don't think i'll get close to satisfied until i'm cover-model worthy and even then i'll probably not be satisfied. the insanity is, every now and again i get so discouraged i give up and then get more out of shape, back and forth. sometimes i just cry and feel completely helpless and hopeless about how much i can't stand my body. other times i am completely pissed. more often than not, it's anxiety. how do i turn this off?

 

[Dan88]

Boy do I wish I knew how to turn this off. I can relate to what you're saying, but I'm afraid I don't have good answers. I've always been self-conscious about my appearance. Rationally I know there's nothing unusual about the way I look. But it takes an act of congress to get me to go to the beach. Good for you for tackling this. And good luck with it.

Take care,
Dan

 

[A]

Thanks Dan. i like what you said about the beach.

i realize it's not like I need to look good so everyone will say, ooh, look at that guy, although my ego would enjoy that to some degree. it's much more about looking good according to whatever standard i've got in my mind so i can not have to be self-conscious about it and just run around without a care about it.

 

[Aden]

There is something in the idea that every one is looking at you that makes you aware of yourself. The funny thing is, not that many people are looking at you. And those that are, arent looking at the things that bother you about yourself.

You are the one who is always looking at yourself and making negative judgments. It is an irresistible urge, and common among all kinds of people. No way, no how, at no time will you ever be content within the vessel containing the spirit which you have judged unworthy.

I am short, fat, bald headed, age lined, flat footed, big nosed, sweaty and hairy all over. I am well past any rational belief that anyone is looking at me for any reason other than to figure out how to get out of my way. But I still feel the eyes watching me where I go. It isnt a thing you can fix with diet and exercise. That might help for the moment. But outer beauty WILL pass and you will still have the same judgments to live with.

Get in shape, stay in shape. Just dont neglect the spirit in the exercise program.

Aden

 

[The Dean]

Guys, I struggled with this image deal, body vs physique etc. But in recent years I rejoice that I am male and that helps.
Then, I have been noticing people who are in so much worse shape than I am--350 or 400 pounds, having problems with genetic anonymlys--e,g, no arms, no legs--recently, many many of our soldier are arriving at Walter Reed missing one or more limbs.

If I could have a different physique I could construct exactly what I would want. But for now, I am delighted that I have what I have--it only took about 55 years to get to this point!!

Bob

 

[yesac76]

I have so many body issues it is not funny. I hate how I look! I went to a local water park a couple of weeks ago. I never took off my shirt. I saw guys heavier than I am, men with a ton more body hair, all proudly walking around wihtout a shirt. I would die if someone saw me without my shirt.
I have learned to not obsess about it only when I am in the locker room of the gym at the University. I have other issues.
I feel like I am not adequaTLY HUNG. I am bigger down there than many there, but I still feel embarrased. I do not know how to overcome this. I have only slept with one woman, and I had to get liquored up to do it. I just feel like I could not possibly be big enough or good enough to give a lover pleasure. SO, I unconsciously sabotage my "relationships." I have never even been in a full fledged relationship.
I am getting off track a bit. Just know you all are not alone!
Casey

 

[Arthur]

I can look back over my life since I was molested and see that I made a choice to make myself so fat and ugly that no one would find me attractive enough to molest.
I am struggling with taking better care of my body including losing weight. Most of my struggle comes from the fear (of becoming attractive to a potential molester - even though I am now 52 years old, this fear is from my little inner child) that arises when I have some success in looking better or when my wife or someone else gives me a compliment about my looks.
This is a good topic for me to learn about.

 

[Ivo]

Well,
this morning I had discussion on this topic with my sister and she told me that she doesn't understand why I usually want to look so unattractive when I do not have.
I must say that I like my body.
When I was kid I was extremely small and skinny for my age. During years this situation was changed totally. Now I am tall and slim which is great feeling to be. Also I like to do exercises so I am always in good form. The nature was extremely generous to myself and I appreciate this.
On the other side I am not so confident especially in places with a lot of crowd. I can not stand that "look", which is I suppose normal, when you are attracted to someone. This is probably because I am often anxious without visible reason and attention is making situation even worse.
Usually I do not wear attractive clothing. I instinctively feel easier on this way.
But, on some rare occasions I intentionally made myself attractive as possible with the most expensive clothing and additional fashionable accessories and from point of view of my ego the feeling was great. Even my friends were lost a little bit saying: "is that really you?".
My final clue is that no matter what your body looks like this is more mental and not physical problem and is directly linked to SA.
Unfortunately I really do not know how to turn off this mechanism but you have to be more positive about yourself.