Another Step in my Own Healing
relaxingpiano
Registrant
I'm almost a little reluctant to put this here in the forum but it is a significant step in my healing. Please know that what you will be reading is an account of what took place with a psyhic energy healer. Some of the things in here may not be easy to read but if you read this, please do so in the light that it was a healing experience for me. I've done a lot of healing work since 1991 and I was ready for what happened here. It wasn't too long ago that I would not even have thought of doing the session that I did or would have been able to do the things in the session that took place. So I'm going to share it in hopes that by me being open about this healing part of my life, it will help someone else in some small way.
So here it is... and if it gets too much for you to read, please take care of yourself.
Here's a brief summary of my session with the lady that does psyhic energy healing or as her business card says "Transpersonal counseling". She's from Boyton Beach FL but comes down to Dr. Canali's office once every couple of weeks I think. I'm so glad I went to her today. I really needed this. Hope I don't weird you out with my account of this but it was a very powerful healing experience for me today. This is a brief summary as there is just way to much to write about for now.
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Transpersonal Counseling
I hope that what I'm sharing doesn't weird anyone out and if it does, I'm sorry. I just feel I need to share what I am and whatever each person does with this is what they choose to do. This is a personal account of what took place today and it was a very powerful healing experience for me. Please treat it in that light.
I went to this lady who was a psyhic and energy healer today. She had been recomended by a couple of different people I know and trust. However, I was quite nervous going there today. And after yesterday's big car repair bill, I almost backed out on this because it was not cheap. But I knew with the things I was coming up against in life lately, I really need to go to this. And I'm glad I did do that.
Within minutes of meeting this lady and beginning for her to talk and get to know me, she was picking up stuff about my father, about me, my brothers and Jeff. I was quite amazed because the stuff that was coming out is nothing that anyone would know other than myself. And this wasn't just fluff and stuff things either, it was some deep personal facts about the various people.
I remember as we got talking, she was sharing insights with me and writing things down in a list for me to take home of things I could do for myself to help continue my healing. While these things look like good advice, they matched the situation and the discussion we were having. But at one point (I hadn't even mentioned this yet) she looks at me and says "why have you been so tired lately". Ok, that's one of the big issues for me. I get extremely tired quickly in doing anything. I know it is a lot from carrying the weight of all that I've experienced around with me.. She said you have been struggling all your life and it is time to move forward and stop struggling. You are ready for much more and you are ready to move on. Anyway, it blew my mind when she said that.
She was a very caring, supportive, older lady that you'd want to talk to for hours. We talked a lot and it was a very connected discussion of which you learned as much from her asking the questions as from hearing responses she gave you. She was aware of the paralysis that can hit people like myself and that was reassuring to me. Not many people understand that.
When we went to the table, she went through some steps to help explain a little about the process and checked in with me to let me know I was in control of the session. She was just the guide as we went on this journey. I don't know how she did it, but it didn't take long before we were in the middle of some of the roughest events of my life. And we were connecting to them in a very deep way. The deepest of deep that I've never been to before in all the years of therapy I've had. I was skeptical when we first started and yet, seeing how far we went into this initially, I began to accept it.
Through out most of this session, I cried my eyes out because of the intense pain and hurt and rejection I was dealing with. Within minutes of being on the table, she saw how locked energetically I was in my hip area which I have known for some time. And that area also was part of the session when we connected it to the very first rape I remember. The stuff going on in this session was similar to other therapies that I had except this time, we were going more to the root of all that happened and that was deep. There is a lot of details that I'm leaving out here for the sake of not making this too long but they way she did things, a lot of deep healing took place in my life and a lot of forgiveness that I never thought I'd see happen in my life. For as she explained the forgiveness isn't so much about what it does for others as it is for one's self releasing all of that hurt, pain, anger and moving forward. It wasn't too long ago that I couldn't have taken this step today.
We also went into a lot of issues surrounding my mom and her death a couple of years ago. I didn't realize we would end up here because this is a very tough one for me. I lost my mom unexpectedly to a car accident in 2002 and the last contact I had with her was in 1991 when I was paralyzed. We went back to the last time I saw her alive and did a lot of work in the session which was tough and I mean it was tough to do this. Than we moved forward to the funeral and did some more work trying to bring about resolve and resolution to many things. None of that was easy but I was at a point in my life that I needed to do this. At the end of the session, I heard a voice (not sure if it was the lady's voice or not....but I know who was saying it).. The voice said, I've always loved you and I miss you. I know that was coming from my mom. No doubt in my mind.
Some of the other things that came out were
She said I was born with a strong feminine part to me and actually had a good blend between the feminine and the masculine sides of me. However my father was threatened by the feminine side of himself and so I was a threat to him which led to some of the things that it did.
She also said my mom always knew I was different than my other two brothers which I was and that I was so sensitive and intuitive but my mom did not understand what that would mean.
She said my mom always tried to be the peacemaker but her body was so worn out over the years of everything that had went on that she just couldn't keep going. She said, even if the car accident wouldn't have happened, she wouldn't have had much more time left on this earth.
She also said my mom is around me a lot and stays close to me. We have such a connection and I do feel my mom around me. Always have. But now we can have a much better relationship and I can talk to her at any time.
One of the main things I remember at the end is I thought during the entire session, I had bright lights shining in my eyes. I had forgotten that she had dimmed the lights in the room at the start of the session. But the entire time, I was thinking that the overhead lights were what was on. And when I realized they were not, I was shocked to say the least. We talked about this and I know I've experienced this a few times getting trager work done on me and in my sessions with Dr. Canali. She said I had a lot of bright light around me and that I have a lot of angels around me which were in the room as well. I've always had the angels around me and I've never been completely alone.
One of the things we talked about was that I am a healer. That is one of the things I bring to this world. If I would have not went through what I did as terrible as it was, I would not be able to do the work that people will need from me. I would not be the bodyworker I am today because I have such an understanding of the dark side of the world that so many bodyworkers don't have or they haven't accepted. My body understands far more some days than my mind does which gets to be fun when I'm trying to understand all of this. I know that as I continue to heal myself, I will be more ready to follow the universe's leading to others. But I have to do the work on myself in order to get there.
We talked about the fact that I chose my parents for this life time and I didn't realize it was going to be so rough but I wanted to work on a greater awareness in life and my emotional side so this is the life I came into. I'm still struggling to fully accept that considering all that I was brainwashed into by the church. But I've now had 3 totally different people make the same statement to me so I can no longer discount it. If only one person said it, than I'd think they were nuts but now that three people have said the same thing....it is time for me to listen up.
There's so much more that I could write here but this would be a very long post. I'm going to end with the things she gave me to continue working on each day. And thanks for reading. And don't worry if this sounds too woo woo and weird to you because it almost does to me - and I'm the one that experienced it. There's no way anyone could convince me that all of this was just my imagination. I know it was true and I know it happened. There is no doubt whatsoever.
So here's the list of things
1) I am worthy and deserving of love and respect from myself and others
2) Look at the larger picture during the day and breathe into it.
3) Monitor your thoughts
4) Become more aware and connect to your heart through deep breathing
5) Write at least 5 things you are grateful for before going to bed at night
6) Choose feel better thoughts when the negative stuff comes into your head
7) I can love and accept myself no matter what
So here it is... and if it gets too much for you to read, please take care of yourself.
Here's a brief summary of my session with the lady that does psyhic energy healing or as her business card says "Transpersonal counseling". She's from Boyton Beach FL but comes down to Dr. Canali's office once every couple of weeks I think. I'm so glad I went to her today. I really needed this. Hope I don't weird you out with my account of this but it was a very powerful healing experience for me today. This is a brief summary as there is just way to much to write about for now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Transpersonal Counseling
I hope that what I'm sharing doesn't weird anyone out and if it does, I'm sorry. I just feel I need to share what I am and whatever each person does with this is what they choose to do. This is a personal account of what took place today and it was a very powerful healing experience for me. Please treat it in that light.
I went to this lady who was a psyhic and energy healer today. She had been recomended by a couple of different people I know and trust. However, I was quite nervous going there today. And after yesterday's big car repair bill, I almost backed out on this because it was not cheap. But I knew with the things I was coming up against in life lately, I really need to go to this. And I'm glad I did do that.
Within minutes of meeting this lady and beginning for her to talk and get to know me, she was picking up stuff about my father, about me, my brothers and Jeff. I was quite amazed because the stuff that was coming out is nothing that anyone would know other than myself. And this wasn't just fluff and stuff things either, it was some deep personal facts about the various people.
I remember as we got talking, she was sharing insights with me and writing things down in a list for me to take home of things I could do for myself to help continue my healing. While these things look like good advice, they matched the situation and the discussion we were having. But at one point (I hadn't even mentioned this yet) she looks at me and says "why have you been so tired lately". Ok, that's one of the big issues for me. I get extremely tired quickly in doing anything. I know it is a lot from carrying the weight of all that I've experienced around with me.. She said you have been struggling all your life and it is time to move forward and stop struggling. You are ready for much more and you are ready to move on. Anyway, it blew my mind when she said that.
She was a very caring, supportive, older lady that you'd want to talk to for hours. We talked a lot and it was a very connected discussion of which you learned as much from her asking the questions as from hearing responses she gave you. She was aware of the paralysis that can hit people like myself and that was reassuring to me. Not many people understand that.
When we went to the table, she went through some steps to help explain a little about the process and checked in with me to let me know I was in control of the session. She was just the guide as we went on this journey. I don't know how she did it, but it didn't take long before we were in the middle of some of the roughest events of my life. And we were connecting to them in a very deep way. The deepest of deep that I've never been to before in all the years of therapy I've had. I was skeptical when we first started and yet, seeing how far we went into this initially, I began to accept it.
Through out most of this session, I cried my eyes out because of the intense pain and hurt and rejection I was dealing with. Within minutes of being on the table, she saw how locked energetically I was in my hip area which I have known for some time. And that area also was part of the session when we connected it to the very first rape I remember. The stuff going on in this session was similar to other therapies that I had except this time, we were going more to the root of all that happened and that was deep. There is a lot of details that I'm leaving out here for the sake of not making this too long but they way she did things, a lot of deep healing took place in my life and a lot of forgiveness that I never thought I'd see happen in my life. For as she explained the forgiveness isn't so much about what it does for others as it is for one's self releasing all of that hurt, pain, anger and moving forward. It wasn't too long ago that I couldn't have taken this step today.
We also went into a lot of issues surrounding my mom and her death a couple of years ago. I didn't realize we would end up here because this is a very tough one for me. I lost my mom unexpectedly to a car accident in 2002 and the last contact I had with her was in 1991 when I was paralyzed. We went back to the last time I saw her alive and did a lot of work in the session which was tough and I mean it was tough to do this. Than we moved forward to the funeral and did some more work trying to bring about resolve and resolution to many things. None of that was easy but I was at a point in my life that I needed to do this. At the end of the session, I heard a voice (not sure if it was the lady's voice or not....but I know who was saying it).. The voice said, I've always loved you and I miss you. I know that was coming from my mom. No doubt in my mind.
Some of the other things that came out were
She said I was born with a strong feminine part to me and actually had a good blend between the feminine and the masculine sides of me. However my father was threatened by the feminine side of himself and so I was a threat to him which led to some of the things that it did.
She also said my mom always knew I was different than my other two brothers which I was and that I was so sensitive and intuitive but my mom did not understand what that would mean.
She said my mom always tried to be the peacemaker but her body was so worn out over the years of everything that had went on that she just couldn't keep going. She said, even if the car accident wouldn't have happened, she wouldn't have had much more time left on this earth.
She also said my mom is around me a lot and stays close to me. We have such a connection and I do feel my mom around me. Always have. But now we can have a much better relationship and I can talk to her at any time.
One of the main things I remember at the end is I thought during the entire session, I had bright lights shining in my eyes. I had forgotten that she had dimmed the lights in the room at the start of the session. But the entire time, I was thinking that the overhead lights were what was on. And when I realized they were not, I was shocked to say the least. We talked about this and I know I've experienced this a few times getting trager work done on me and in my sessions with Dr. Canali. She said I had a lot of bright light around me and that I have a lot of angels around me which were in the room as well. I've always had the angels around me and I've never been completely alone.
One of the things we talked about was that I am a healer. That is one of the things I bring to this world. If I would have not went through what I did as terrible as it was, I would not be able to do the work that people will need from me. I would not be the bodyworker I am today because I have such an understanding of the dark side of the world that so many bodyworkers don't have or they haven't accepted. My body understands far more some days than my mind does which gets to be fun when I'm trying to understand all of this. I know that as I continue to heal myself, I will be more ready to follow the universe's leading to others. But I have to do the work on myself in order to get there.
We talked about the fact that I chose my parents for this life time and I didn't realize it was going to be so rough but I wanted to work on a greater awareness in life and my emotional side so this is the life I came into. I'm still struggling to fully accept that considering all that I was brainwashed into by the church. But I've now had 3 totally different people make the same statement to me so I can no longer discount it. If only one person said it, than I'd think they were nuts but now that three people have said the same thing....it is time for me to listen up.
There's so much more that I could write here but this would be a very long post. I'm going to end with the things she gave me to continue working on each day. And thanks for reading. And don't worry if this sounds too woo woo and weird to you because it almost does to me - and I'm the one that experienced it. There's no way anyone could convince me that all of this was just my imagination. I know it was true and I know it happened. There is no doubt whatsoever.
So here's the list of things
1) I am worthy and deserving of love and respect from myself and others
2) Look at the larger picture during the day and breathe into it.
3) Monitor your thoughts
4) Become more aware and connect to your heart through deep breathing
5) Write at least 5 things you are grateful for before going to bed at night
6) Choose feel better thoughts when the negative stuff comes into your head
7) I can love and accept myself no matter what
