Another day


OTOH, I also know that being isolated like that isn’t psychologically healthy for me. Everyone is different, so it might be the healthiest thing imaginable for somebody else. I know for myself, as hard and scary as the world can be, when I hide away from it I have a lot more opportunities to engage in unhealthy behaviors and entertain dark gloomy thoughts about “poor me”. I sat around and ate junk food for the last 15 months at random times 24/7 and rarely thought about having normal meals at normal times, and I’m really fat now. I feel like a bloated pig.

I think probably the best example of why it was bad for me was because I had no schedule, no one to answer to, and I could really allow myself to wallow in those depths of gloom. I kept telling myself there were a million things I could do to be productive, but it was a real struggle to force myself. Now I regret all of the wasted time and the personal projects I didn’t accomplish in 15 months of free time. I spent entire days just telling myself that in 15 minutes I would get up and do something productive, but the whole day would elapse and all I did was watch something on Prime or Netflix and eat junk food like Reese’s and Doritos. I can’t do that now five days a week, assuming I do ok at this new job and they keep me on after the 90 day probation period.

Last year I was really afraid of Covid itself. I’ve had both shots, over 3 months now since the 2nd one. Being back out in public, I feel like eventually I will get it, but like with Influenza and getting flu shots every year, it won’t make me seriously sick. I had lab-confirmed Influenza in 2014 and 2018 even though I’ve always gotten a flu shot every year since probably the 1990s. So less afraid of that now.
You will do great at your new job. Be strong. Eat 3-4 meals a day and thecweight will come off. If you want to eat extra drink water and eat carrots. Trust me it will work. Slowly. The same way you put it on