ANGRY! (MAY TRIGGER!)

ANGRY! (MAY TRIGGER!)
C

crisispoint

Registrant
How the **** DARE he?!?!

I know I've hurt this person deeply, but someone I told abut my abuse to, someone who said they CARE about me, said that I should "stop being a pussy and be a man" about our situation.

"Be a man" That's what he told me. This is the kind of shit that my FATHER put me through growing up. "BE A MAN!"

I am so angry at him now I could just ****ing die. He wants me to call him if I "give a damn" about him, but right now I sure as hell don't. He's definitely not they guy I thought he was. He isn't that much of a person.

He doesn't realize how much that hurts. I know my indecisiveness and confusion has hurt him, but this just goes beyond the pale for me.

I AM SO ANGRY! HOW DARE HE?!?!

:mad: :( :(

Scot
 
Scot,

I am very new to the opening up and talking thing, so i don't know that what I have to say will help in anyway. But I do know that by posting here and having people actually repond to your feelings does help me, save me.. I know, all to well what those words mean to you and for me as well. They are very hurtful, and you have every right to feel angry, they are Your feelings. I can see how frustrating all this must be for the people outside of us, their need to understand, thier wishing it was just overwith and move on. You and I know it isn't even close to that easy. Just keep in mind this fight is ours, and we will survive. I have no words to relieve you of your anger and pain. But I can say I am listening to you, and I understand... Stay strong, this is Your life, live it...
 
i think we can all be an ass at times, and say things that hurt the ones we care about. i know right now it is hard, but he must have something there to have inspired you confidence. remember, it is hard for those who are on the outside to even concieve of this stuff in a lot of cases. my wife and best friend gave me the 'that happened a long time ago, get over it' thing at first, but as they learned more, and discovered more, they learned how foolish that was to say. i guess, i would caution both of you to cool off and then decide where to go with things in a rational mind set.
 
Scot

For what it is worth nobody and mean no person at all can begin to understand the effects of sexual abuse unless they have experienced it. And I would not wish that on anyone. What is does to your self worth and your identity. This comment, unfortunately, is a rather common one. Much like " Get over it and move on" Yeh right. If it were that easy what the hell have I been doing for the past 47 years. Twiddling my thumbs.

Yeh Scot it is ok to be angry and more importantly hurt. But lets maybe think that he may be speaking from ignorance. Not to excuse him but is he aware of the emotional scars that we carry and fears that we carry. If he does not know then he is not an asshole but uninformed. I dont know how many times my wife has said to me get over it and get on with life.

Now that is the rub. Had to learn how to live life and not merely be an observer. Still love her thougth. She can never know what sa does to me and I thank god for that.
 
Scot,

This hits close to home for me.

My father conciously chose to abandon his kids, never in his life made a single effort to contact us, wouldn't return a phone call, or never sent a birthday or Christmas card.

His response to life's crisis was to bury yourself in work to forget about it. That and have another beer. Last July his wife died. Then all of the sudden we are supposed to be in his life. We are supposed to visit and call him, be an intregal part of his life. Still, he will not make an effort to contact us. I have such spite for that man.

You don't owe him a thing, not a damn thing. He made his bed, time for him to lie in it.

Take care,
Bill
 
Scot - I'm not even too sure about what I am about to say here, but it's about a reaction I had when I told someone that I had been abused.

I think my response is due to the anger of your posting (justified), but taking into account the other responses.

When I was in Prague recently (january) with 2 good friends & three others that I knew socially but not as well, I had a bit of a panic attack and decided that I needed to tell the 3 friends that I knew less well that I had just started therapy & why.

I expected a negative reaction off one individual, but the actual response was: 'I have an Uncle that something similar happened to - he won't talk about it to anyone...you're very brave to tell us'. He'd actually recognised some similarities between my behaviour & his uncles (standing back in a crowd,...caution around strangers).

We don't know who else out there is dealing with the same shit that we are ....I know how long I hid it for.....I often look around & think ...did it happen to you?

Like I said, I'm not even sure what I'm saying here ....it could be that sometimes when I look in the mirror & wonder who else this has happened to, I can think of several people that it might have...I wouldn't really know how to ask them!!??

No one has the right to tell us to grow up, be a man or anything else, but I wonder why they would in the first place?

Sorry if that's confusing ...I know what I'm trying to say, but not sure how well I've done it!

Best wishes ...Rik
 
Yes, how dare he! What a jackass. I hope you never call this person, because he is not worthy of 'giving a damn'. You are so much better and more worthy of someone who is not going to call you such names. Please do not think of him any further, and depend on the people who are actually GOOD for you.

leosha
 
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