anger, numb, feeling weird (triggers?)
sophiesdad
Registrant
Nyjah:
I'm so sorry to hear that you had a hard time at the doctor. Though it doesn't make it feel any better, it may help you to know that you're not alone when you're in that space.
There are times when I'm in a really bad space that I just can't handle anything... yesterday there was a news bulletin about something that happened in Florida. I had to ask my wife to turn the channel immediately because I couldn't handle listening to it. I ended up watching the Simpsons
When I'm in that space it seems like everything in the world is aimed at me - same thing that you found. I get sensitive to people's comments, songs on the radio, tv programs, etc. It's almost as if I'm hypersensitive to anything that is REMOTELY connected to SA. I think the professionals have a fancy term for it: hypervigilence.
Your sister sounds like a really caring person who loves you very much. It's good that she was with you in the doc's office. Sometimes even doctors may not understand reactions to questions.
If you feel bad that you didn't want to see your sister's boyfriend even though he was concerned, maybe when you're feeling better, you could write him a note, or ask your sister to tell him thanks for his concern.
As you go thru life, you will find many people out there who care a lot about you. Sometimes they may not be the best at how to show it or they may not understand completely how you feel. I have a very good friend who has worked with me for almost 20 years. She's about 10 years older than I and really cares for me as a friend. When I finally told her about my SA, she was very understanding, but couldn't figure out why I couldn't "let it go" after 30 years.
There's an old saying that says, "You don't know what a man's life is like until you walk a mile in his shoes." It's so true - not just with SA. We are often too quick to judge other people or have others judge us. But NOBODY knows how we feel inside unless they've gone thru it themselves.
So be patient until the anger passes. And, if you can, give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for being brave enough to make it to the doc's office. I remember your posting that you were terrified about going. Many people don't even make it out the front door of their house. But you made it there, saw the doc, and got thru the appointment! that's quite a feat. I had a T who once told me about fear (and it's hard to do it, but true): when you're afraid of something, feel the fear and do it anyway. Again, it's not easy, but it feels really good afterwards that you have overcome your fear in spite of it!
So, even though you're frustrated and angry right now, just keep in the back of your mind what a brave thing you've done and that there are people close to you who care about you.
Sophiesdad
I'm so sorry to hear that you had a hard time at the doctor. Though it doesn't make it feel any better, it may help you to know that you're not alone when you're in that space.
There are times when I'm in a really bad space that I just can't handle anything... yesterday there was a news bulletin about something that happened in Florida. I had to ask my wife to turn the channel immediately because I couldn't handle listening to it. I ended up watching the Simpsons
When I'm in that space it seems like everything in the world is aimed at me - same thing that you found. I get sensitive to people's comments, songs on the radio, tv programs, etc. It's almost as if I'm hypersensitive to anything that is REMOTELY connected to SA. I think the professionals have a fancy term for it: hypervigilence.
Your sister sounds like a really caring person who loves you very much. It's good that she was with you in the doc's office. Sometimes even doctors may not understand reactions to questions.
If you feel bad that you didn't want to see your sister's boyfriend even though he was concerned, maybe when you're feeling better, you could write him a note, or ask your sister to tell him thanks for his concern.
As you go thru life, you will find many people out there who care a lot about you. Sometimes they may not be the best at how to show it or they may not understand completely how you feel. I have a very good friend who has worked with me for almost 20 years. She's about 10 years older than I and really cares for me as a friend. When I finally told her about my SA, she was very understanding, but couldn't figure out why I couldn't "let it go" after 30 years.
There's an old saying that says, "You don't know what a man's life is like until you walk a mile in his shoes." It's so true - not just with SA. We are often too quick to judge other people or have others judge us. But NOBODY knows how we feel inside unless they've gone thru it themselves.
So be patient until the anger passes. And, if you can, give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for being brave enough to make it to the doc's office. I remember your posting that you were terrified about going. Many people don't even make it out the front door of their house. But you made it there, saw the doc, and got thru the appointment! that's quite a feat. I had a T who once told me about fear (and it's hard to do it, but true): when you're afraid of something, feel the fear and do it anyway. Again, it's not easy, but it feels really good afterwards that you have overcome your fear in spite of it!
So, even though you're frustrated and angry right now, just keep in the back of your mind what a brave thing you've done and that there are people close to you who care about you.
Sophiesdad