Anger is an understatement TRIGGERS

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Anger is an understatement TRIGGERS
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Ever since I got home yesterday after a long day and sat down to read my local paper, I have been seething with anger. While I am appalled with the writer of this letter to the editor I am so angry that my newspaper would publish it, I can hardly walk around without letting whoever is around hear my tirade. Anyway, judge for yourself and feel free to let my paper know your opionion if you wish.

Stillwater Newspress, letter to the editor, July 1, 2004.

Concerning Sexual Abuse

The other morning I watched a segment on TV about a 23 year old female teacher who was jailed for having sex with a 14 year old male student.

The teacher was as beautiful as any movie star I've ever seen. I'm not usually excited by anything on early morning TV, but I came alive when I saw this gorgeous teacher and can imagine the sensation coursing through the teenager.

While watching the TV show, the teacher was castigated as a heathen violating the innocent. How many 14 year olds do you know nowadays, who are not aware of the aspects of life?

I'm not condoning the affair but passion is a strong motivating force if not controlled. Looking at the teacher, I can see how the teenager was persuaded (not that he needed any). I have been there and know exactly his feelings (hers also).

One dimwitted counselor on the show said: "the student may have incurred irreparable damage."

The damage he is experiencing right now is being separated from his teacher. Fifty years from now, I'll wager the student can remember the teacher in full detail and likely be the product of a beautiful marriage.

"let those without sin cast the first stone"

Bill R Boyd
Perkins OK

Address of the paper that published this

Stillwater NewPress
Editor Rick Hoover
P.O. Box 2288
Stillwater OK 74076

I am absolutely amazed and still can't believe this was in my paper.

Anyway, it helps to share this and get it out so to speak. I did respond with my opinion and that helped some too.

Brent.
 
I would love to send a letter but to find the "correct" constructive words would totally drain me.

I wonder if this particular (to use his own words) dimwit would feel the same way if the teacher were male and the student were his fourteen year old daughter.

edit:

PS I found the website and one of the headlines is:
MAN CHARGED WITH EXPOSING HIMSELF AT BASKETBALL CAMP

A Cleveland man has been charged after allegedly exposing himself to a boy attending basketball camp in Stillwater. :mad:
 
I have written a letter to the editor. I don't know if an out-of-state opinion will carry much weight and, frankly, I believe that those who think as the letter writer does are not easily swayed, certainly not by a letter to the editor.

It felt good to do it, though, and it is worth it for that alone.
 
This was my response to the editor:

Mr. Boyd does not understand the complexities of the matter. It is abuse when there is unequal power between a child and an adult. Fourteen may be beyond puberty, but the mind has not caught up with the hormones.

The teacher is a rapist. Nothing more, nothing less.

If this had been a 14 year old girl and a male teacher, Mr. Boyd would probably be the first one calling for a rope to lynch the teacher.

This differentiation is fraught with danger for the male victim because society does not seem to equate the abuse of a male victim with that of a female victim, thereby depriving him of the help he will need to cope with this unequal and criminal act. A victim is a victim, regardless of their sex. The outrage should be the same in either case.
 
I would be very angry as well if my paper were to print a letter like this, but I guess even this idiot is entitled to his opinion, even if it is insensitve. I would love to right a letter, but I don't know if I would be able to remain polite in it.

scott
 
I encourage everyone who can to write to them, and if you're ok with it, post the text here, too. We need to speak up so that every survivor can learn that they are not alone.

I sent them an email, too. (Thanks, Curtis, for getting the link to us.) It's not easy for me to stay under 250 words, but this was it:

Dear Editor,

Mr Boyd claims that he "can imagine the sensation coursing through the teenager." There is little likelihood that his imagination is up to the task. There is nothing romantic about a child becoming an object before the lusts of an adult. There is no tenderness in this experience. It is impossible for a child in the care of an adult to have an emotionally mature response to the adult's sexual interests. Her charge was to guide this child, not to "initiate" him. How would Mr. Boyd feel about a girl of 14 with a 23 year old teacher?

Mr. Boyd is correct that the boy will remember the teacher fifty years from now. Sexual abuse of children leaves them with terrible, long-lasting effects. Although sexual abuse of males is reported far less often than abuse of females, it is a sad reality in our time. Many male survivors of sexual abuse have terrible difficulties with trust and intimacy. This traumatic betrayal leaves them with low self esteem and a horrible distance from their own emotions. It distorts their views of themselves, others, sex, and relationships.

The work to overcome these effects is difficult but possible. Helping that boy, and the many others like him, is more important than any concern over who may "cast the first stone." An international organization, MaleSurvivor, provides resources at www.malesurvivor.org for men abused as children and for those who love them. I pray that this child will get the help he will need.

Respectfully,

Joe xxxxxxx
xxxx
xxxx, MD
2xxxx-xx
(410) xxx-xxxx

Note: I am a male survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I am a member of, but not a spokesperson for MaleSurvivor. Our Board includes survivors and professionals who work with survivors and/or sexual offenders. If you are interested in learning more about the organization or the issues, please email our President, Fred Tolson, [email protected].
 
I was reading that same story today in one of our Sunday Tabloids commonly known as the gutter press. It was on the front page. The strange thing is that this paper was also the one that set up the Sarah's Law (akin to your Megans Law) campaign back here in the UK during 2000.

The newpaper was The News of the World it makes a mockery of the whole peadophile discussion.

The headline in this country was:
"Naked truth of raunchy school miss who seduced boy 14".

I was fourteen when I was seduced, raped and abused. Its the double standards I cant stand


Archnut
"And all that was left was hope"

My Story (Triggers)
https://www.waltonhop.blogspot.com
 
I wonder if we'll see a bunch of our letters published or not hear a peep.

Any bets?
 
I have been there and know exactly his feelings (hers also).
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This Mr. Boyd is a offending victim. He needs some severe help.

My letter has been sent in.

Thanks for the heads up Brent. Will you keep us informed if something gets printed in response to this?

Bill
 
Here's mine:

Dear Editor:

After reading the letter that Mr. Boyd sent you I felt I had to reply to it. I wonder what his feelings would be if it was his 14 year old son. Would he be ok with the fact this woman was having sex with him? What if it was his 14 year old daughter who was having sex with a male teacher that the same thing could be said about (Very good looking, movie star like, no wonder this little girl wanted him) Now what if it was his 14 year old son and this Movie Star Like male teacher? Would it still be ok? After all passion is a strong motivating force if not controlled. He says controlled and he is partly right, he implies that this 14 year old boy who was abused should have had that control instead of the 23 year old teacher. It seems to me that if he is ok with that type of child abuse then he would have to also be ok with the other kinds I have listed, if hes not then its pretty clear what word is best used to define him. If anyone of your male readers has been subjected to sexual abuse please print the link to a web based support group. Malesurvivor.org this place is here to help men who have been abused talk to other men who truly understand the pain there abuser have left them with (even if that abuser did look like a movie star). Thank you for your ear.
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Sure hope we over load his inbox this weekend and the editor prints at least one of our letter's.

James
 
I think they printed Mr. Boyd's letter to see the reaction. They're seeing it now.

If they print any of the letters we send and add a mention of MaleSurvivor, people can find all the letters we post here. Boyd's emphasis on why the teacher should not be punished completely misses the point of what happened to the boy.

As for the "casting the first stone" bit, the same Christian Scriptures include specific mention of what those who lead one of the innocents astray can expect. Think "millstone," "neck," and "sea."

I hope the boy gets what he needs, and I hope the editor uses our letters to let anyone who reads their paper know we're here.

Thanks,

Joe
 
There are no words. It is infuriating, that people will still think SO stupid like that. I am in full agreement with a nurse friend of mine. 'Being stupid should hurt'.

Leosha
 
I am afraid to post my opinion. I will say one side of it and that is I disagree with what the teacher had done. The damage that it can cause is not worth the act. I hope I am not hated!!!
 
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