....... and then came the LIGHT

[Jaco]

I have had a woderfull session yesterday with my T

We spoke about boundries and what I did as a kid.

At the end of our session she added that she wanted to tell me something.

As a kid a grown up used me sexually for his sexual pleasure. With this he had taken away my sexual boundries. I grew up thus with no sexual boundries in place.

I then tried to re-inact the things he did to me by acting out in order for me to understand this better and to get my CONTROL/POWER back.

Now I understand that I need these sexual boundries to keep me safe from harm. I am glad that I understand now some part of my CSA and are working to accept what has happend to me.

In the distance a light has come on and I am walking the road of recovery.
What a beautifull road this will be when all the lights will be on to lead me off this dark road.

 

[Steven Heath]

jaco.....the insight your therapist pointed out is an amazing one...that my sexual boundaries had been stripped away as a child.....those words just explain so much of my activities in my life......it just smacked me right in the face this morning.....like in a good way......wow...thanks for sharing that.....steve

 

[roadrunner]

Jaco,

Can I add just a bit to your comments? As boys our sense of sexuality was just BEGINNING to develop, and with that so were our ideas of boundaries. In a secure and stable environment our foundations would have been laid down bit by bit, safely and cautiously and under the guidance of safe adults.

What was wrecked, then, was just the beginning phases of a process that would have taken years, into adulthood really, to solidify fully. It was on top of that rubble that we had to work through our feelings about sexuality, jury-rigging odd bits here and there with whatever resources we had as frightened and confused kids.

How can we be surprised at the result?

Much love,
Larry