An oath of observing the secret.

[Muldoon]

An oath of observing the secret.
A little part of my story.
Triggers


Been reading over the1962 Vatican Document on how to deal with sexual abuse cases.
It is a very detailed and full of legal lang. that I dont understand.

It has educated me on the mindset those people had back than.

In May of 1961 the parish priest raped me after mass. A few weeks later my 5th grade nun asked me why I no longer was altar boy. I broke down and told her what Father Ryan had done to me.

"Hope you have the courage to tell,
Stop it from happing to other boys"

Well I told on Father Ryan. A church board was but together to hear my complete against Father. I was told that my story was unbelievable and they believed Father. I left that room super mad at the world. I knew at the age of 11 there was no JUSTICE for me.

I alse wondered why I never took it to the police, I should have been stronger I just pushed it back into the deep corners of my mind.

Today I found out why I just let my case fade away.
The Vatican Document procedures says that after I tell my story I must take the Oath.
An oath of observing the secret of what was said. So if I wanted to be part of the parish and go to GA school I could say nothing.

Another part of their document was.
Threating him if there is need, with an excommunication.

I remember the anger that came from me as I left that room.
That word excommunication was through out at me but what does an 11yo know of such a big word.
That oath that l took with my right hand on the cross was very over powering. An excellent way to silent me. Tom

 

[Curtis St. John]

(((((T)))))

We all grew up doing whatever the adults told us was the right thing to do.

This isn't your fault, and we are here to listen to you now... and you are believed.

 

[RICK57]

Tom - I am aware that many people find comfort in religion (my late parents included).

Your story is just a typical example of why I never could.

I don't know if there is a god, but some of the people that profess to carry out God's will (whichever god that is) do not do it in a way that implies infinite goodness. Many of these people see themselves as 'above' lesser mortals.

I remain a 'lesser mortal'.

I believe that 'godliness / goodness' means treating others as you would be treat yourself.

Isn't it stange that a satanist (Alasteir Crawley) said 'do as you would be done by'. *No I am not a satanist - just pointing out what strange boundaries are applied to society.

i.e Churches that cover up abuse. Upper Class (by their own definition) people with millions of pounds of jewellery going to church & putting 5 pounds into the collection, pretending that they have done their Christian Duty.

An old lady that I know (77) does go to church as often as possible & contributes whatever she can - she supports others just by being herself - that's what I call real godliness / goodness.

Just my opinions ..... best wishes ..Rik

 

[Bobby]

Tom, First of all, let me say how sorry I am that that happened to you. I think it's so important that we say that to one another. I think sometimes we are so into the subject matter that we just think that that is understood. We can't hear it too many times. It's so important to know that someone understands and cares.

It wasn't just the catholic church back in those days. When I was a kid, in the 50's, I remember overhearing a conversation between my parents about a grade school principal. He had been molesting little grade school boys in his office. When my mother asked what was going to be done about it, my father said that he would be forced to resign and that would be the end of it.

That's it...that's all...forced to resign, so that he could go to some other elementary school in some other town and molest other little unsuspecting boys. I couldn't have been over 9 or 10, but even then I thought it was very strange that they would handle it in that way. The story has stuck with me all of my life, so that, when the catholic sexual abuse stories started to break,even as I was shocked with the rest of the world, the story of the principal somehow started making sense to me. I think they must have been so naive as to think that the little boys would just get over it. Well, here we are. Did we just get over it? How much pain and agony could have been prevented if they had just........

 

[Muldoon]

Ric

I believe that 'godliness / goodness' means treating others as you would be treat yourself.

That is where i am at. i have been doing some reading and get lots from a book on Buddhism.

Curtis

We all grew up doing whatever the adults told us was the right thing to do.

What realy pugs me is that none of those grown ups didn't care what was going to happen to me.They threw me away and never gave a dam about my life.
Curtis Thanks for the directions you gave me towards Buddhism.

Bobby

Tom, First of all, let me say how sorry I am that that happened to you. I think it's so important that we say that to one another. I think sometimes we are so into the subject matter that we just think that that is understood. We can't hear it too many times. It's so important to know that someone understands and cares.

Thanks.
That is what is so great about this place called Male Survivor we alse know that there are caring people here.

also Bobby

my father said that he would be forced to resign and that would be the end of it.

That shows how no one wanted to deal with this issue. Also just another exsample of no one caring about the victims.

We sure grew up at a F**** up time .
Tom