Amazing

Amazing
J

Jaysen

Registrant
I've been reading and browsing a lot of the posts out here and I have to say that I'm just amazed by all of this. I don't know if I'll ever have the courage, strength or ability to just say "hey this is me, this is what happened" and deal with it.

It's funny, I thought maybe it would be like an AA or NA meeting, "Hi my name is Jaysen and I'm a...." Only it's much easier saying that I'm an alcoholic.. which makes no sense to me at all, I chose to drink, I didn't chose to get drugged/abducted/assaulted.

Anyway, I got off track, I really wanted to say that I'm truly amazed by the courage that I'm seeing here.

Thanks,
Jay
 
you're still new. you'll get there too. i know in my case the fear of talking about it and admitting it openly was much worse than the reality of it. i think in the four years i've been talking, i maybe had one person say something that was mean. most people, even non-survivors are actually quite understanding or even curious. they want to know about it for a variety of reasons.
 
Honestly I'm not real worried about what people might think or say about it. It's frustrating to me because I can't really explain my silence unless I tell the story, and I'm not prepared to do that. Not that I feel pressured to do that, I don't.... but I wish I could.

You've been really helpful to me in the last day and a half Phoster, I really appreciate it.

Thank you,
Jay
 
you're welcome. as i told another survivor friend of mine, talking like this i sometimes stumble on things i need. i find it often helps me just as much as it does others, because i remind myself of just how bad it was, and how far i've come, and also of what is really important in life.
 
Jaysen,

What you are going through is what all survivors new to recovery discover. A new guy shows up, is perhaps hesitant at first, and then discovers that he's not alone. No one doubts him. People understand. They endured the same thing. He isn't crazy or a freak.

But that doesn't mean that he can just pitch in and say what he needs to say. You clearly do need to say things, bro, but you know what? They will come. They will come when you are ready, not before. Just like you signed up and announced yourself here, but not before you were ready.

You are respecting your sense of boundaries, and that's good. Recovery is about getting past pain and trauma, sure, but it ought to involve as little new agony as possible. Many times small short steps are the best, because they are the safest. No one is waiting for you and thinking okay, out with it! We have all been where you are. You are okay just as you are right now. You always were, and you always will be.

Much love,
Larry
 
Jay,

That's good to hear. One of the mods here once said to me "It's all about boundaries".

Much love,
Larry
 
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