Am I self-absorbed?

Am I self-absorbed?
C

crisispoint

Registrant
Just read Joseph7's post, and while I reacted rather angrily to it, it raises a real question. Am I self-absorbed?

DO I dwell on my pain to make myself feel better?

Do I refuse to take responsability for my own mistakes?

Do I "take everybody's pain and turn it around on me"?

I hope not. God I hope not.

The thing is, I have made my own mistakes, I do take responsability for them. I will not drag anyone else down with me. But, yes, there was a reason for my immaturity and inability to grow up. My inability to share myself, and I am angry about it. NONE OF THAT WAS MY FAULT!

Still, I think about it. I hope I'm not that kind of person. I really hope not.

Scot
 
I am not certain I understand, and know that I did not read the post you are referring to that you say upset you. Or at least, i do not think I read it.

Is it self-absorption to concentrate on what we must do to be better? to concentrate on the past we must heal from, and how we need to do that? I do not think so, I think it is more preservation of self.

If you were 'self absorbed', you would not reply to others here, either in post or PM, and I know you do both those. You would simply post what you need, and the hell with anyone else. I do not find that self absorbtion. But then, I have often been told I am stupid, so perhaps I am!

leosha
 
You have helped me so much since I started to post here. Leosha is right - you are here as much to help others as you are looking for a place to get feedback and trust from all of us.

I think that (without reading the post you mentioned) in general, the view of people in therapy or who are focusing on their past and working to overcome them is that we are self-absorbed. Which is just bullshit if you ask me. The whole "why do you want to dredge up what happened in the past" argument is, again in my humble opinion, a way for them not to face what happened and to dismiss anyone who wants to.

Do NOT feel guilty for wanting to explore what happened to you - you are not being selfish... you are being honest. And I think what is so great about MS is that it gives us a place where we know other people can really relate to our experiences openly and honestly.

Keep posting... you have helped me so much.

-Sean
 
scot,
i have wondered this about myself as well. in the past few weeks when i have been going through some of the worst i have experienced thus far in my journey of recovery all i could see through the haze of pain was that i was "fishing" for affirmation, or some such. another thing i have hated about the last few weeks is the effect on my inability to respond to others here with their triggers because it put me on the road to being triggered. it was a weakness to my distorted way of thinking. i was just asking for stuff for me and could not give in return. that seemed pretty self absorbed to me. but then something strange happened. the brothers here, and the ladies, did reach out to me and showed me that compassion is not a weakness or that the pain i was going through was not a character flaw, it was pain. the love here, and lady theo's, grounded me once more to be able to reach out once again in small steps. the truly self absorbed person would not reach out to another to give what little they could give at the time, they would reach out for another "gimme". the story of the poor woman who gave all she had to the temple returns to me in this lesson. such a small gift as we can give in the midst of our pain is the greatest gift we can give at the time because it is all we can do, and we are still giving.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top