Alone Again

I usually post on the Member's forums...but I see a lot of guests tonight, so I will post here as well


I'm here in the middle of the night, alone. I wish someone was here. I'm so tired of being alone. I can't sleep. I want to talk to someone...anyone. So much of my life is being alone...even when surrounded by people. They don't know...I can't let them know. Secrets must be kept. secrets are all that is important. No one can know. No one would understand if they knew. Will is a freak. Stay away.

They can't see beyond the facade...I am so full of love...but I don't knoe hoe to show it. So I just weep for the stories I hear of kids abused. I can't do anything, so I just cry.

Fuck you Donny...Fuck you for ruining my life...Fuck all the donnies out there who are ruining lives as I write this.

I FUCKING HATE YOU...MORE THAN TOU, DONNY, I HATE THE DONNIES THAT ARE RUINING LIVES RIGHT NOW!!!

I will get over you, but the 7-year olds that are being violated right now....I cry for.

I don't know who you are, but I'm sorry!

WIll it ever stop? What can I do to Make it stop? I can deal with my own abuse, I just can't stand the thought of it happening to you.

My son wil turn 7 on 2/19...I was SA when I was 7. Ican protect him, but how many 7=year olds out there that I can't protect.

I see a little boy, and I wonder "is it happening to him?" How can we put an end to this? I would gladly give my life if I could stop one boy from experiencing what I did.

This world fucking sucks! Sometimes I wonder why I brought two more boys into it.

 

[RICK57]

Will - maybe that is your fear right now. Knowing that you were abused at the age that your son is now!

You will be seeing yourself in him, and wondering how anyone could ever violate such a child! You are probably fearful in some way that you may not be able to protect your son?

Awareness is the best protection, you don't have to frighten your sons, just make sure that they understand that not all people are good.

Best wishes...Rik

 

[andrew51]

Will, I have a 12 yo son. I no longer worry about him being molested, although I did when he was younger. He is confident and unafraid of adults or authority figures. He knows right from wrong and has been made aware of all the good touching, bad touching issues. I haven't shielded him from some of the harsh realities and so he is fairly street wise for a spoiled suburban kid. I really believe that the key to a kid not being victimized is his confidence. Confidence to speak up. A perp can sense weakness in my opinion. I know I was afraid to speak up as a kid. I was afraid of my parents (mother) and terrified of any authority figure. So I did what I was told and didn't ask questions. As I mentioned, my kids have been spoiled, but the greatest gift I gave them was permission to speak their minds without fear, to stand up for themselves and to speak fearlessly. When they were really young, I used to reward them for presenting good and creatiave arguments when they were trying to get out of trouble or get their way for something. My parents thought I was nuts, which made me even more sure I was on the right track!
I know you're doing a great job with your sons Will and I think they are lucky young men to have you as a Dad. Peace, Andrew