Alcohol abuse.
Today was a sad day, I went to the cremation of a friend.
The 'Big Fella' as we knew him, was 52yo and I'd known him for about 25 years. We went out with our wives together, worked together and shared many good times.
He was 6'5" tall, handsome and always immaculate.
The last time I saw him to talk to was about 3 years ago, and his last words were "fuck off!" Since then he's avoided me, and all his old friends. His wife threw him out, and he died alone and unnoticed in a filthy bedsit. He'd been dead for a few days when the police smashed the door down.
The Big Fella drank himself to death, and there was nothing anyone could do about it because he, for some reason I can't fathom out, couldn't see what was happening to him.
The cremation service was 10 minutes long and without any eulogy, there were about 15 people there. A tragic end.
But contrast that with two other alcoholic friends, also a survivors of CSA, both have been dry for a few years years now.
When I first met Bill about 6 or 7 years ago he was a wreck, so down on himself that he couldn't look you in the eye, he looked sick and beaten, acted sick and beaten.
But he wasn't, I met him when we were both sharing the same therapist and we'd pass in the waiting room, he was making an effort.
And I feel so proud of being able to call him a friend now. He's a lovely man, a talented artist and getting his life together in a very positive way.
So much so that he came to see me and show off his brand new 1000cc Suzuki.
That's such an achievement for him, 5 years ago he was too frightened to get on a bus!
He's not the only one either, my other good survivor friend is also alcoholic, and dry.
You know him as well, it's Archnut - Kirk.
And I know how he fought his urges a while back when he was seriously triggered, and succeeded.
He's now very active in survior 'politics' and doing some terrific short film work.
Three alcoholics, two made a decision within themselves to "do something" One didn't.
I have some addictive traits, but nothing like drink or drugs that are also chemically addictive, so I won't pretend to 'know' what it takes to dry out.
I just have so much sorrow for the Big Fella, and total admiration for my two good friends Bill and Kirk.
Dave
The 'Big Fella' as we knew him, was 52yo and I'd known him for about 25 years. We went out with our wives together, worked together and shared many good times.
He was 6'5" tall, handsome and always immaculate.
The last time I saw him to talk to was about 3 years ago, and his last words were "fuck off!" Since then he's avoided me, and all his old friends. His wife threw him out, and he died alone and unnoticed in a filthy bedsit. He'd been dead for a few days when the police smashed the door down.
The Big Fella drank himself to death, and there was nothing anyone could do about it because he, for some reason I can't fathom out, couldn't see what was happening to him.
The cremation service was 10 minutes long and without any eulogy, there were about 15 people there. A tragic end.
But contrast that with two other alcoholic friends, also a survivors of CSA, both have been dry for a few years years now.
When I first met Bill about 6 or 7 years ago he was a wreck, so down on himself that he couldn't look you in the eye, he looked sick and beaten, acted sick and beaten.
But he wasn't, I met him when we were both sharing the same therapist and we'd pass in the waiting room, he was making an effort.
And I feel so proud of being able to call him a friend now. He's a lovely man, a talented artist and getting his life together in a very positive way.
So much so that he came to see me and show off his brand new 1000cc Suzuki.
That's such an achievement for him, 5 years ago he was too frightened to get on a bus!
He's not the only one either, my other good survivor friend is also alcoholic, and dry.
You know him as well, it's Archnut - Kirk.
And I know how he fought his urges a while back when he was seriously triggered, and succeeded.
He's now very active in survior 'politics' and doing some terrific short film work.
Three alcoholics, two made a decision within themselves to "do something" One didn't.
I have some addictive traits, but nothing like drink or drugs that are also chemically addictive, so I won't pretend to 'know' what it takes to dry out.
I just have so much sorrow for the Big Fella, and total admiration for my two good friends Bill and Kirk.
Dave
