alan

alan
A

alan's marc

Registrant
i came home a few hours ago and have been
trying to sleep but there is too much going
through my mind. they told me yesterday there
is brain damage and we won't know to what extent
until alan is awake and alert but they say it
will affect his speech which is why i have been
having such a hard time understanding him.
they say the signals are not connecting as well
as they should. he has been through so much,
endured such horrifying experiences, risen above
the abuse and now he is damaged by his own hand. i think the guilt will be hard for him to carry
but i will do everything i can to help him carry
it. it is ironic that the computer i used to be
so jealous of i now cling to as a friend. alan
would laugh if he knew. i don't know if i am
making much sense or any point but i am tired
so forgive me. if any body prays maybe prayers
would help. thanks.
marc.
 
i prayed for you guys the day you went to your brothers, and i will pray for you now. when he burned himself, i was afraid for him, and now i see there was good call. you have all my best wishes, and i hope and pray that there will be a bright ending to all of this.
 
Marc
Thank you so much for letting us know how Al' is doing, I hope you carry on if at all possible.

Al is very much in out thoughts, we wish him and all those around him who are caring for him our best wishes.

Dave
 
Mark, my prayers go out for you and Alan, Alan deserves so much more out of life than he was dealt, so much for some one so young
 
Mark, my prayers go out for you and Alan, Alan deserves so much more out of life than he was dealt, so much for some one so young
 
I was just chatting with Al the other day, and he was light hearted and he and I together were helping someone who had just logged in the chat for the first time. He seemed to be in good spirits at the time.

Sometimes we can put on a good face, but the pain is so deep, it is impossible to fathom or to share.

We all here know depression, and desperate feelings. There is much sadness in my heart that Al hurts so much. If he can understand and hear me, tell him that I care. We all care.

I know what it is like to commit suicide, and not die. I was there many, many years ago. It is such a mix and mess of emotions, so impossible to describe. I felt like even more of a failure after the attempt. I echoed the feelings in my mind, "if I can't even kill myself right, what the hell can I do? I can't do anything right." It is truly mental torture and agony.

Al, I'm sorry to see you go through this pain. I feel for you. It hurts. I know it hurts. We are all here for you. I know you can count on any of us including myself to help if at all possible.

Please hang in there. My deepest wish for you is that you find peace on this earth.
 
Marc I am praying for Alan & for you. It is tragic that so often in so many ways we abuse ourselves more than our abusers ever did, but becuz of what they did. For this they are accountable too. Know that both of you are loved & supported here. Take care & God bless.

Victor
 
Marc and Al. I can feel your pain. I dont know your story but. I can only add that we gotta keep working at this shitty hand we were delt. If we stop working they WIN. Use the memory of Gunnar who so recently left us. My god he was helping me two days before he left us. We gotta win not only for the big us but also the little us. He beat the fuckers by being a pefect example of HUMANITY at its best. Al May have a few short circuits but love and holding and caring can mitigate the effects. And I gotta believe that eveyone one of us here is behind both of you. If nothing else here I have learned that I am not alone and that all my brothers really care deep down where only the little us reside. I too , have tried the permanent solution to a temporary problem. Print off the posts from your brothers and if Al cannot read by himself read them to him as in a story book but one that is filled to the very f**king top with love. It is our souls that are important and may the souls of our molesters burn forever in HELL.
 
Marc,

One day at a time, one moment at a time, you and Alan will get through this somehow I hope n pray.

The Serenity Prayer:

God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change,
The courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Sometimes, I've found saying this over and over helps me relax a little.

jer
 
i am so touched at how everyone reaches out
when a friend is in need. may god bless each
and every one of you.

i will print this out and give to alan when the
time is appropriate. maybe things will look a
little brighter for him tomorrow.
 
You guys are truly in our prayers.We do not know your story but that does not matter. The Lord knows for sure. We will pray daily until we know Al is better. Take good care of yourself too, because Al will need you soon.
WITH MUCH LOVE,
Kim
:(
 
Dear Alan & Marc:

PRAYER FOR PROTECTION

The Light of God surrounds us.
The Love of God enfolds us.
The Power of God protects us.
The Presence of God watches over us.
Wherever we are God is.
And All is Well.

May this Prayer for Protection also serve to bring you comfort during troubling times.

Sincerely, Jess.
 
Hi Marc and Alan,

It is the sadness and tragic results of so much pain that result from being a victim of betrayal and violation that millions need to hear.

Scratch almost anyone deep enough and you will, I believe, still get the idea that when a boy or man is violated it is really not a true case of harmful abuse.

As hard as it is, we need to get editors and writters to hear some of these gut wrenching stories to dispell that fantasy. Thye problem, even there, is that so many folks, not wanting to have to confront reality, will say that guys who suffer a lot from SA, PROBABLY, had a pre-existing mental illness.

It feels like peeing in the ocean, but we need to keep peeing--preferably not in the ocean though.

Bob
 
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