Yes! Me too! Thanks for the resource. This makes me wonder how many other CSA Survivors are also ADD/ADHD - I also wonder if there is a correlation or a cause & effect relationship?!?

YW...wasn't diagnosed until last year but just too much similarity to attribute to consequence for me.

“Undiagnosed ADHD is a recipe for exhaustion and depression”

“Now I can see how shut down I was. Scary.”

"If only you'd apply yourself"....

Attended 5 different high schools & graduated 60/120 in my class. I thought I'd done pretty good & managing to be right in the middle, where I'd always been as the middle child. Surely that equated with some of my weirdness being overlooked I hoped.

“It’s “The 30% Rule” (17). Knock 30% off of an ADD child’s age and that is their level of maturity.” 22=14

“it’s not surprising that ADDers are at very high risk for substance use. That’s why proper ADHD medication is actually protective. Their brain doesn’t have to find dopamine in illicit forms.”

“Just my luck, I finally score high on some tests, and they explain why I never scored high on tests!”

"ADHD/Combined type" (HPA axis dysregulation) incidents of domestic & sexual violence ages 3 to early 20's just kind of hot wired my brain for it I can see now.

Now to get back to exploring strategies for creating a life to love...yesterday it was eyeing a friend's maple syrup operation. If the wind gets up, maybe I'll fly a kite? Idk but connecting to the lost boy is seemingly paying some dividends on the investment.
“It’s “The 30% Rule” (17). Knock 30% off of an ADD child’s age and that is their level of maturity.” 22=14
This also seems to apply to CSA Survivors. I am told our age gets stuck at the age of abuse and then only continues after we start getting help. (So I feel like I am my 20s!! Kinda true!!)
Lol, don't want to instill anx but add stunted emotional development related to substance abuse & the gap between my chronological age & developmental age widened.

"Any distance is a challenge"...but I'm feeling good about the possibilities of putting some of these resources & tools to work for myself.
For sure & always laughing with others not at others....physical, emotional, & developmental maturity becoming stunted is a theme I've been more aware of amongst others in the circle of survivors I've gotten to know. My hormone levels are still a challenge the provider is intrigued with but I've given up on.

Mindfulness helps...
Thanks guys!

The medication regime is tricky b/c risks/benefits & the provider would prefer a time released formula but insurance balked & I was just too worn out to fight with them so I try to use the Adderal judiciously.

New insights on emotional dysregulation & cognitive distortions though and flooding so I just need to pace myself more I guess. Yesterday, I was actually able to sit quietly for twenty minutes without looking at the clock & that's pretty huge for me. Progress, sweet progress.

I'm more free today than yesterday but not as free as tomorrow & I'm more healed today than yesterday but not as much as tomorrow is my new mantra.

ADHD is something I struggle with. I was diagnosed as a child and put on Ritalin for the first time at maybe eight years old—predating CSA. I stayed on it all through school at varying doses. Opinions vary, but my parents and doctor at the time encouraged “Ritalin holidays” during long school breaks, and I often went off of it when I had a lot of stimulating activities to occupy my time.

Toward the end of college, I dropped it altogether because I didn’t want to be beholden to medicine. In time, the old feelings of restlessness and anxiety returned. I couldn’t focus on anything important. Impulsivity returned as well that quite frankly led to some poor choices I might get into with a separate MS post someday.

I’m currently taking Adderall XR with one dose of the quick release version in the afternoon...especially when I have after hours meetings. I’d prefer not to take meds for it, but the responsibility I have to get things done and make things happen in a complicated political environment demands all the attention I can give it. I am inching away from medicine with mindfulness and ADHD apps to keep things in order.

Stimulant meds definitely slow my thought processes down. They can even make me sluggish. Off meds, I am so much more Tigger the Tiger bouncy and ummm...much more free with my words. That can be great for creativity, but I need a great editor! My wife can tell when I’ve taken it and when I haven’t. She knows.