Acting Out
My tennis coach molested me when I was 15. The following year I went to visit a friend of mine in Mexico. I had wanted to engage in mutual masturbation with him in the past, but he had had an operation and it wasn't possible. Now the operation was healed. When I arrived at his home, we shared a room. When the lights were out the first night, I jumped in bed with him without hesitation or compunction. He felt some hesitation, but I had my way with him. It was only a few days before I got moved to a room of my own. We never talked about it, but I think it messed with his head. I think it created some sexual identity issues for him.
During the day I attended school with my friend. I got to know one of his friends. I liked his friend and decided I wanted him to come to visit me in the States. It felt creepy to ask my father if he could come to visit during his winter break because my motivation was self-serving. They only reason I wanted him to come was so that I could have sex with him. We moved a bed into my bedroom and we shared the bedroom for the two months he visited. I tried to interest him in masturbating together. He categorically refused. He was smaller than I was and I could have forced myself on him, but I did not. In spite of my failed efforts to make it with him, I did what I could to make his stay enjoyable and valuable. His motivation for coming to the States was to learn English. I did what I could to help him with English, but we didn't really connect and he didn't learn much.
He returned to Mexico and we never communicated with each other again.
During the day I attended school with my friend. I got to know one of his friends. I liked his friend and decided I wanted him to come to visit me in the States. It felt creepy to ask my father if he could come to visit during his winter break because my motivation was self-serving. They only reason I wanted him to come was so that I could have sex with him. We moved a bed into my bedroom and we shared the bedroom for the two months he visited. I tried to interest him in masturbating together. He categorically refused. He was smaller than I was and I could have forced myself on him, but I did not. In spite of my failed efforts to make it with him, I did what I could to make his stay enjoyable and valuable. His motivation for coming to the States was to learn English. I did what I could to help him with English, but we didn't really connect and he didn't learn much.
He returned to Mexico and we never communicated with each other again.