I am familiar with the sense of repeated betrayal and the injustice of it all as it surrounds these matters. I wanted to thank you again for sharing this with us. I have to admit that the quote "self-doubting shame machine" resonated so much with me. I recognize a huge part of my journey and healing is to witness that the experiences I had in relation to my repeated abuses are not unique has been monumental. There is comfort in knowing that what I have been struggling with, silently carrying and hiding away for decades is 'normal'. Thank you for the courage to share with others.Glad it's helpful to hear the story, or part of it anyway. I was writing a lot in a blog about this pedophile and three others at my elementary school, and the school eventually threatened me indirectly. In the end, though, the school compensated several men who had brought complaints and possible lawsuits. So that was good. It's hard for me to let go of the anger I feel at this place that was supposed to protect children, and then years later, still couldn't protect them. A very big sense of betrayal and abuse around that still.
Incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing this verdict and your blog. I am energized with hope that I can soon get this same experience. Once Pennsylvania's Republican-controlled Senate stops blocking statute reform, and PA changes the SOL for civil actions, I will have standing. Until then, hearing your story gives me hope that change has occurred. A couple more observations:Hope it's helpful
We need allies all around. There are so many crazy connections between being abused as a child and how we are now, mentally, socially, AND physically (higher rate of prostate cancer, for example, among abuse survivors than in general male population). Yes, many of these organizations and schools have a kind of "play book" for how they deal with claims of child rape or harassment. It's horrific and boring: blame the victim, deny it happened, "we lost all personnel records," discredit any witness who comes forward, etc... while apparently having absolutely no knowledge of how sexual abuse actually affects someone, immediately and over time, not to mention the amount of money that one might have spent out of pocket on therapy. Abuse survivors (of any gender), I feel, have a lot in common in terms of the experience of trauma as combat veterans.Incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing this verdict and your blog. I am energized with hope that I can soon get this same experience. Once Pennsylvania's Republican-controlled Senate stops blocking statute reform, and PA changes the SOL for civil actions, I will have standing. Until then, hearing your story gives me hope that change has occurred. A couple more observations:
Finally, I can say with certainty because I've lived it too. I believe you. I'm sorry this happened to you (us). And I would like for you to count on me as a friend and ally in your (our) healing and recovery. Indeed it is important to say and hear these words.
- Seeing the pedophile old, weak, and beaten is a perception-alerting experience that is powerful in changing the impression fixed in your memory.
- Ah, sought refuge in Asia. No surprise.
- Conspiracy to hide and aid by the institutions. Again no surprise. They should be held accountable also, and they have the deepest pockets, and why the insurance lobbyists crawl the halls of state legislatures like roaches. The Catholic Conference of Bishops lobbyists also.
- The court ordered "no teaching anyone under 18" is a fucking joke. Shows complete lack of understanding of grooming. Should be "no teaching or supervising PERIOD.