Abused and Used by boys my age
There are lots of cases where an adult succumbs to abuse simply because that old feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness crashes over him like a wave./QUOTE]
Larry,
Truer words were never "written". It has been literally decades since my abuse ended, but that abuse, and the feelings I have regarding that abuse, seem to keep me at that place emotionally.
I can develop new friendships, but whenever I do, I am always leery of what they want from me? Why would they just want to be my friend? They must want me to perform some act for them. If I don't, I will lose them as a friend.
More times than not, I end a friendship, because it seems the longer the friendship lasts, the more convinced I become that whatever they want from me is going to be really huge favor or trick. I become afraid and decide to just cut my losses.
After I do this, I begin to realize that perhaps they did jsut like Rich for Rich, not for what Rich can do for them. It is usually too late to recover the friendship by then.
Having perps the same age as you are opens you up to this type of thinking. These guys were our peers. They were supposed to be our friends, not our johns.
Just my 2 cents worth.