Abuse of self

Abuse of self
S

ShowMeHowToLive

Registrant
Hi. I'm fairly new. Been lurking to see if 'its safe'. It is!
I'de like to know, at what point you call yourself a "survivor" as opposed to "victim". Or do you even care?
I wonder cause some of us, myself included, practice rituals. Self-medicating? Drug abuse (marijuana), over-eating, sex.
In that case, it's not ok for me to say i'm surviving cause i'm not.
Ide like to conside this ABUSE OF SELF. Then, that makes me my new-formed abuser. And you really cant get away from yourself. Know what I mean? :(
 
Here's how I look at it... I overeat, and I've got about 50 extra pounds. I surf the web at work endangering my financial well being (a form of self-punsihment I've recently realized). I bite my nails, I have a huge fear of confrontation so people walk all over me without even realizing it... I could keep going, but you get the idea.

Despite all that, I am breathing - so I'm a survivor. I was a victim only when the SA was happening. The self-abuse is a symptom to be cured.
 
Show me. What you describe are coping mechanisms. We all have or have had them. I fluctuated between anorexia and bulemia. I was a male prostitute. I re-enacted the abuse over the years. I was grossly overweight and terribly skinny depending where on the pendulumm I was. My anger was rage, my dislikes were hate. The best defence was attack. I could not stand authority and could read authority into everything. Sound familiar???? Coping mechanisms all of them. Trouble is they all push us further into the slime and dont do anything good to our self respec and self esteem.

So my new brother you are not your own abuser. You are merely acting out in accordance with the sa to confirm that you are a piece of shit. We all do/did it.

Thnig is though is that now you recognize these things and are trying to do something about it. And that is putting you on the road with us towards living life as we were meant to.

Glad to have you with us.
 
Welcome to the site, Mike is right they are coping mechanisms. I think we are not victims as long as we are living our lives as best we can.

I have felt that I was doing the perps dirty work for them and that they were controlling my life when I was hurting myself. I find that idea good motivation for getting healthier and leaving behind the self-destructive survival strategies.

Glad you decided its safe here

Rustam.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top