A Year On

[zookeeper]

It has been just over a year since this journey of recovery began. It began with depression and anxiety and spiraled down into a full blown breakdown. I

But a year on I can tell you that I have made progress. In fact, I hardly recognize myself. I have found new friends and lost old ones. I have regained memories and re experienced a broken heart.

I have come to know that it wasn't my fault then, it isn't now. I'm just doing the best I can with the hand I've been dealt. I made choices-some smart, some dumb. I have progressed in Therapy and have made substantial gains.

But in the end, I have leaned to love me. And you guys have been so very much a part of it. It seems so trivial to say thank you but I do appreciate all of the kindness that you've shown.
With a thankful heart
Zookeeper-Brian

 

[Bluedogone]

Thanks for that positive progress report. Good for you.

It must be encouraging to realize how far you've come in a year. It's certainly encouraging to read.

The friends I lost along the way, actually I suppose they were simply acquaintances, were toxic and I ended up being so much better for the loss.

Some great truths there:
..It wasn't my fault then, it isn't my fault now.
..I'm doing the best I can with the hand I've been dealt.
..I've learned to love me.
Good stuff to remember.

Best wishes as you continue this amazing journey.

CJ

 

[Ceremony]

((Zookeeper)) "I have learned to love me" stands out to me. The kind of self affirmation to rejoice.

 

[i-m-Bri]

Brian,

I agree with Ceremony, "I learned to love me" is an incredible achievement.! I would like to add your presence here on MS is very valuable. Thank you for everything you have contributed in such a short time.

-Brian

 

[zookeeper]

Hey Brian
Thank you for the kindness. I can be a huge screw up. But Im trying!
Thanks my friend.
Brian

 

[bluesky]

Hi Brian
Thank you for sharing your success with all of us. Your success gives me both hope and illumination to my world where the sun may not shine and the nights are way to long.
The journey may be long and the mountains may be enormous but knowing that there others on the journey makes me feel more connected and less a lone.
Thanks.

 

[Brian3022]

Hey Brian, great to hear you're learning to love yourself. Once that's done, I think you move out of the darkness. Good for you, and I'm glad you're in a much better place than a year ago! I'm right with you my man!

 

[zookeeper]

Thanks your support has been a huge part of my recovery.
Zoo

 

[sorryson]

Brian it is great to read how far you have come. I am happy for you. I read what you write to others and you help them so much. You have been able to say it was not your fault. I am working of believing it was not my fault.

Paul

 

[zookeeper]

Paul
It wasn't your fault. You were used like the rest of us, like lambs being herded. Be easy on yourself my friend. Better days are coming.
Brian

 

[Zappafan]

Sounds so balanced you must be a Libra

 

[zookeeper]

Nope, a Sagittarius. November 23. But the balance isn't always there. But hey, I loved Zappa too!
Zoo

 

[WG]

Hey Zoo and everyone else in here - Congratulations on recovery! I now have 3 years. I have discovered some truths, too. Yes, it wasn't my fault. Yes, I too, have learned to love myself - not completely - as I've come to learn - but it's getting there. I have also come to know that I am accepted. I am also learning I am acceptable - just as I am this moment. I don't have to perform for someone to like me and accept me. An if they don't like me or accept me - so what. What they think of me and what they say about me is what they think and say. So what. I am acceptable to the people who matter the most - my wife and children, the men in my life who are close friends who know a lot about my past and still accept me in their lives. My God who has revealed Himself to me in His Word and the others who have been placed in my walk of recovery to help me become more of who I am meant to be. I'm not all I;m going to be, but I'm not where I was - the frightened boy who sat in the therapist's office wanting to turn and fun out the door - but also realized that will not work - it didn't before so what makes me think it will this time? - and I went ahead and got started and haven;t looked back.
We are celebrating a milestone - all of us in here - we are recovering! We are walking, talking proof that recovery is possible.

 

[zookeeper]

Thank you Winston
You have made such great progress. Bravo!
We are Survivors, every one. It's just that some of us don't know it yet. It make take some good friends to convince us!
Brian