A Victory for me

A Victory for me
G

Grunty1967b

Registrant
I wanted to share a small victory that I had last week. For those whove seen my recent posts, one was how I get triggered BIG TIME when I go out into town and see many men. I feel worthless, ashamed of myself and I feel very self conscious about myself.

I will see countless other guys and compare things about them that arent a part of me and get all down on myself. It doesnt matter what (although its mainly on the silly physically outward appearances). Thats a brief history. Now to my win last week.

I had to go into town and was dreading the inevitable assault and attack on my mind. Well, it was amazing. As I passed each guy I wasnt triggered to look/compare and self kill. I just walked on by. I didnt care what they looked like (from my usual envious perspective). I didnt care what clothes they had, what hair they had, how many friends they were with or anything! And it didnt just happen once. My whole time in town was the same the whole 2 hours!

That hasnt happened to me for as long as I can remember. I just wanted to share some good news from me to my friends in here that understand all this crazy stuff.
 
Super for you!

I've read your posts and know your struggle. So proud to see you are making progress!
 
That is so great!

It makes my day. I just love it when my friends here have a victory over the bad stuff. It gives me courage.

Thanks for sharing

John
 
Hey Grunty.

That is great news. I kinda did the same thing too a while back and I know the road you've just been on.

Pretty sweet isn't it to follow a new path huh? :)

MR
 
Good news Grunty, I'm happy for you.

I spent at least three full years unable to go out on a Saturday, because I would get so sad and feeling down and minor and unable to 'compete' with 'real men'. etc

It is getting better for me, though I don't do anything especially for this problem, except let myself go out on a saturday for as long or as short as I want.
 
Even small victories are major victories the way I see it. Good for you. I wonder what changed, I too read your previous posts and am all too familiar with what you have gone through. Could it just be that a change occurred because you expressed the issue and, therefore, understood it better? Don't question it if you think that will make it backfire, but I'm curious. Anyway - Congratulations. May every day that you step out of the house be as easy and pleasant as that day was - John
 
Grunty,

I celebrate with you, too.
I'm not nearly as nervous when I'm out and about. I used to get very nervous around groups of people, even people with whom I was familiar.
Hip, Hip, Grunty, slap on the back ol' man..a friendly, mon aggressive slap on the back, that is.

David
 
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Could it just be that a change occurred because you expressed the issue and, therefore, understood it better?
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Absolutely yes. That was it.

By being able to discover my feelings here and talk about them in this encouraging, safe, and supportive environment I was able to express what was going on in my head, and then on my recent town trip I knew and understood (probably for the first time I think) where all this stuff was coming from.

So I refused to play the game.
 
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