A Time to Speak, A Time to Be Silent...
Jake's thread, "Can't Speak" at
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=001938#000001
as well as other threads like "I Wonder How Truthful One Can Be Here?" by Frank G at
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001871
or "Easier to Talk About...Is This Good"??? by Sick Puppy at
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001872
along with some recent readings & experiences of my own (see links to threads about these in the
"Can't Speak" thread)
inspire me to write this post.
Most of us come to MS finding it extremely difficult to trust anyone, yet longing to or at least feeling we need to; and figuring surely we can do so here online with other male survivors.
For the most part this is true. MS is a safe site that is being made safer all the time.
This is a great place to come online to share, vent, tell our stories, open up, support, be supported, and heal.
That's why so many people come here for help...
However it is important especially here on the public forums that we understand that these are public forums. It is not hard to register to be able to read & to post here in the public area.
Those who do so with ill intent or just a dangerously poor set & sense of boundaries are discovered relatively swiftly and dealt with accordingly.
Still there are perps out there, some of whom are also genuine survivors & some not, who strike more quickly & are a little more tricky in their deceitfulness & seeming sincerity than most.
Such deceivers can make you believe them & believe
in them until you trust them with too much contact
& personal information about yourself. Then the trouble begins...
Please be careful of sharing too much info thru which people can find you or contact you especially outside of this site. Or of offering to contact or meet with people especially offsite.
Even if their stories are true they could still be dangerous...
Sometimes we want to trust. We want to help & reach out to those in need.
But we must first help ourselves by making sure those we reach out to are really in need, and that it's a need we want to try to help them meet.
There are times & ways in which to break the silence. There are times & ways in which silence is golden.
No need to be paranoid, just one who is discerning & who exercises healthy boundaries.
Feel free to share but know who you're sharing with and share only what you want known to whom you want it known by.
OK I've broken my silence about that so now I will be silent!
But you may also refer to this thread:
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001842
A concerned DB Moderator & Wolf Brother,
Victor
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=001938#000001
as well as other threads like "I Wonder How Truthful One Can Be Here?" by Frank G at
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001871
or "Easier to Talk About...Is This Good"??? by Sick Puppy at
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001872
along with some recent readings & experiences of my own (see links to threads about these in the
"Can't Speak" thread)
inspire me to write this post.
Most of us come to MS finding it extremely difficult to trust anyone, yet longing to or at least feeling we need to; and figuring surely we can do so here online with other male survivors.
For the most part this is true. MS is a safe site that is being made safer all the time.
This is a great place to come online to share, vent, tell our stories, open up, support, be supported, and heal.
That's why so many people come here for help...
However it is important especially here on the public forums that we understand that these are public forums. It is not hard to register to be able to read & to post here in the public area.
Those who do so with ill intent or just a dangerously poor set & sense of boundaries are discovered relatively swiftly and dealt with accordingly.
Still there are perps out there, some of whom are also genuine survivors & some not, who strike more quickly & are a little more tricky in their deceitfulness & seeming sincerity than most.
Such deceivers can make you believe them & believe
in them until you trust them with too much contact
& personal information about yourself. Then the trouble begins...
Please be careful of sharing too much info thru which people can find you or contact you especially outside of this site. Or of offering to contact or meet with people especially offsite.
Even if their stories are true they could still be dangerous...
Sometimes we want to trust. We want to help & reach out to those in need.
But we must first help ourselves by making sure those we reach out to are really in need, and that it's a need we want to try to help them meet.
There are times & ways in which to break the silence. There are times & ways in which silence is golden.
No need to be paranoid, just one who is discerning & who exercises healthy boundaries.
Feel free to share but know who you're sharing with and share only what you want known to whom you want it known by.
OK I've broken my silence about that so now I will be silent!
But you may also refer to this thread:
https://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=001842
A concerned DB Moderator & Wolf Brother,
Victor