A Talk with the 8th Grade Boys.
I have been working with an older gentleman who has been fighting the issue of Hazing or Bulling in the local schools. He has been invited to talk with the 8th grade boys about this subject. I sent him my letter on Recovery from male childhood sexual abuse, in the hope he would talk about this issue also.
Got a phone message and he very much wants to talk about Male Childhood sexual abuse at his talk on June 3. He wants to use my 400-word letter (below) however I think we need to put together something that would grab these kids.
This is an excellent age to reach out to boys. How many of us here would have already been abused or about to be abused when we where 13-14 years old. It would have changed our lives so much for the better if some one reached out to us at that time in our life.
We have to reach out to the 1 in 6 boys and let them know that they are not alone. That help is their right to ask for and it makes a difference.
It would also be nice to put together some words to the 5 in 6 boys who will not become victims, asking for their help in the recovery of their friends.
I would like to hear what you have to say about this. We have a few weeks to work on this. Tom
400 Words
No need to read just for reference.
Recovering from male childhood sexual abuse
Society still responds to instances of child sexual abuse as if each were an exception from the way things are. We have failed to understand the enormity of this evil and how profoundly it affects the child. It doesnt matter if the perpetrator is a winning coach, an outstanding scoutmaster, an inspiring teacher, a great provider for your family, a beloved priest, a helpful neighbor, or a nurturing uncle; what they did was evil.
Childhood trauma dramatically affects both the structure and chemistry of the developing brain; Sexual abuse can damage key brain structures associated with rational thinking, memories and emotions. These biochemical imbalances can have profound implications leading to depression and impulsive aggression. The more time that elapses between the abuse and the beginning of treatment the more entrenched the neurological abnormalities manifest themselves.
Be it the coercion of a young, naive child or in the form of violence, sexual abuse is the most elemental violation of ones humanity. Secrecy is the cement that holds the victim down and keeps him from seeking help. It allows sexual abuse of children to continue despite the presence of concerned family, friends, and neighbors and the
existence of child protective legislation. Males may be more damaged by societys refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization and by their resultant belief that they must "tough it out" on their own. Most victims will remain hidden in silence, held there by guilt and shame however the child did nothing wrong, the evil was done unto him. The guilt and shame belongs to the perpetrator.
As time progresses and the child matures, they can become very angry and lonely. They have lost their childhood and in the process, learned to trust no one. For many children the memories of the sexual abuse is pushed deep down into the darkest corner of the brain only to resurface many years later in flashbacks. When triggered, these memories may appear as isolated fragments or in many instances, flood the victim with visions from the past. If it is not enough to experience the initial abuse, most victims will relive the trauma for years until the silence is finally broken.
Sadly, the effect of internalizing these events and not speaking out may result in a variety of negative behavior patterns including: alcohol and drug addictions, depression, despair, low self-esteem, nightmares, memory loss, sleep disorders, lack of intimacy, and sexual dysfunction. To break ourselves from this cycle the victim must speak up and be heard.
By ending the silence we begin the healing and move from being a victim to becoming a survivor. Truthtelling is the process through which we recover real power and free ourselves from the tyranny of the past. As a survivors the healing process can be a wild roller coaster ride as we purge the memories of the past abuse. This emotional release is a very beautiful and a healthy thing. With professional help from a Therapist the survivors learns to navigate through the many stages of healing on the road to regaining our true life. A life, which is no longer, controlled by the effects of the sexual abuse.
It is important that all victims come forward, no matter how long ago the abuse took place, to be heard and join other survivors in the healing process. If all victims stand together as survivors, we can make changes that will protect todays children from the evil we were subjected to.
It is the Time to Heal. Teach all the children to never hide in the silence.
Got a phone message and he very much wants to talk about Male Childhood sexual abuse at his talk on June 3. He wants to use my 400-word letter (below) however I think we need to put together something that would grab these kids.
This is an excellent age to reach out to boys. How many of us here would have already been abused or about to be abused when we where 13-14 years old. It would have changed our lives so much for the better if some one reached out to us at that time in our life.
We have to reach out to the 1 in 6 boys and let them know that they are not alone. That help is their right to ask for and it makes a difference.
It would also be nice to put together some words to the 5 in 6 boys who will not become victims, asking for their help in the recovery of their friends.
I would like to hear what you have to say about this. We have a few weeks to work on this. Tom
400 Words
No need to read just for reference.
Recovering from male childhood sexual abuse
Society still responds to instances of child sexual abuse as if each were an exception from the way things are. We have failed to understand the enormity of this evil and how profoundly it affects the child. It doesnt matter if the perpetrator is a winning coach, an outstanding scoutmaster, an inspiring teacher, a great provider for your family, a beloved priest, a helpful neighbor, or a nurturing uncle; what they did was evil.
Childhood trauma dramatically affects both the structure and chemistry of the developing brain; Sexual abuse can damage key brain structures associated with rational thinking, memories and emotions. These biochemical imbalances can have profound implications leading to depression and impulsive aggression. The more time that elapses between the abuse and the beginning of treatment the more entrenched the neurological abnormalities manifest themselves.
Be it the coercion of a young, naive child or in the form of violence, sexual abuse is the most elemental violation of ones humanity. Secrecy is the cement that holds the victim down and keeps him from seeking help. It allows sexual abuse of children to continue despite the presence of concerned family, friends, and neighbors and the
existence of child protective legislation. Males may be more damaged by societys refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization and by their resultant belief that they must "tough it out" on their own. Most victims will remain hidden in silence, held there by guilt and shame however the child did nothing wrong, the evil was done unto him. The guilt and shame belongs to the perpetrator.
As time progresses and the child matures, they can become very angry and lonely. They have lost their childhood and in the process, learned to trust no one. For many children the memories of the sexual abuse is pushed deep down into the darkest corner of the brain only to resurface many years later in flashbacks. When triggered, these memories may appear as isolated fragments or in many instances, flood the victim with visions from the past. If it is not enough to experience the initial abuse, most victims will relive the trauma for years until the silence is finally broken.
Sadly, the effect of internalizing these events and not speaking out may result in a variety of negative behavior patterns including: alcohol and drug addictions, depression, despair, low self-esteem, nightmares, memory loss, sleep disorders, lack of intimacy, and sexual dysfunction. To break ourselves from this cycle the victim must speak up and be heard.
By ending the silence we begin the healing and move from being a victim to becoming a survivor. Truthtelling is the process through which we recover real power and free ourselves from the tyranny of the past. As a survivors the healing process can be a wild roller coaster ride as we purge the memories of the past abuse. This emotional release is a very beautiful and a healthy thing. With professional help from a Therapist the survivors learns to navigate through the many stages of healing on the road to regaining our true life. A life, which is no longer, controlled by the effects of the sexual abuse.
It is important that all victims come forward, no matter how long ago the abuse took place, to be heard and join other survivors in the healing process. If all victims stand together as survivors, we can make changes that will protect todays children from the evil we were subjected to.
It is the Time to Heal. Teach all the children to never hide in the silence.
. "As you get older" you will see more and more clearly something that you are already onto now: that knowledge and commitment can be extremely powerful tools. What you and Kevin are doing with your letter shows astonishing maturity and breadth of vision, and I know others share my enormous respect for your efforts. Maybe you are already noticing that as an abuse survivor yourself you can see another one coming a mile away. Look at what the people who run this site have done with their lives. They have never been given the answers to the big "why?" questions, but they have managed to find a way to move on, not by forgetting what happened or explaining it away, but by demanding a voice and committing in various degrees and in various ways to helping others.