A question?

[Leosha]

I talk at another person, female survivor from this other site I join at, on messenger, and we are talking of therapy. And I tell her that I am still some afraid to try it, and that it bothers me of what someone might think, because I fear they think bad that I am man this occurs to. She tells me that I need help, which I do know, and say that I should not be stopped of getting help by such a small thing. Is it a small thing? It does not feel small to me, that I am man and this is done by a man, and there is so much more it seems in support for women, and they understand more that women have this done at them more. Am I perhaps caught up with this small thing too much? It hurt me, that she says that at me, that is why I ask. Thank you.

 

[Muldoon]

As you will learn by coming here and reading ,many here where abused by men. I was abused by 2 different men at age 11 and at 14.
I could never talk about it until I came here and found out that I wasn't alone. Just like you I knew that I needed help and I started getting that help about one year ago. Talking with a professional has done great help for me.
By all means get help for yourself, and continue to come here. This place has great healing power. Muldoon

 

[Wuamei]

Leosha,

This female survivor may well have meant well and really wanted to help you. But females, even survivors, by and large just don't get it when it comes to male survivors. They seem to think "Well I've gotten plenty of support so they can too." It usually doesn't occur to them that we are different and need different kinds of support that are just not so readily available for men.

Maybe it was unintentional but I think what this women said to you was very insensitive. Wonder what she would have done if you had for some reason said to her that her being female was just a little thing. Maybe she would have had a fit?

Leosha, if you are going to talk to this woman about this again, perhaps you could tell her it hurt you what she said and that it is different with male survivors and there is not as much out there for us. Maybe it will help her be more sensitive. We can help people become more sensitive, one at a time.

Take care.

Victor