A Loss Of Words

Rwfox99

Registrant
So I shared my story yesterday or at least most of. I have read other stories now and I can see things that others and I share. The problem is I don't know what to say to them, because I am in the same boat that they are. Does anyone else seem to I the same problem? If not, what do you say? I am by no means is a subject matter expert.
 

Healing light

Registrant
Offen I'm lost for words ,sharing why u feel the same can sometimes help someone not feel alone with how there feeling , I'm no expert either , I hope sharing your truth has helped , the more I share the more I feel I release the past from the present
Wishing you peace on your healing journey
HL
 

Rwfox99

Registrant
I think you are right about that. I felt pretty good yesterday about sharing my story. It was to short lived though.
 

baku206

Registrant
I think thats more than enough, to acknowledge and not to feel sorry, for it has a condescending/patronizing vibe. Even though each ordeal is idiosyncratic, but at the end, pain is pain. I don't say, "I am sorry you had a miscarriage", "I am sorry car hit you" or etc. I ask, "How did it feel?" and "How do you feel now?".
I have read your story. It was my first before registration and sharing mine.
You know, I encounter with it a lot lately. You mentioned: "I am in my 30s and I was lonely". I assumed, you felt lonely. Are you afraid of being being lonely?
 

Rwfox99

Registrant
I think thats more than enough, to acknowledge and not to feel sorry, for it has a condescending/patronizing vibe. Even though each ordeal is idiosyncratic, but at the end, pain is pain. I don't say, "I am sorry you had a miscarriage", "I am sorry car hit you" or etc. I ask, "How did it feel?" and "How do you feel now?".
I have read your story. It was my first before registration and sharing mine.
You know, I encounter with it a lot lately. You mentioned: "I am in my 30s and I was lonely". I assumed, you felt lonely. Are you afraid of being being lonely?
I always feel alone and I hate that feeling. I am afraid of being alone. Even though I have my wife and kids, I have no real friends to talk too.
 

Rwfox99

Registrant
I feel like no would give shit if I was dead or alive. Sometimes I feel I try to put on a happy face when others are around to seen normal. When they are gone I'm just here and no one cares.
 

Healing light

Registrant
Feeling alone is an awful feeling I have felt to many times before less so now adays though so it is getting better as I heal

Peace
HL
 
Groucho Marx famously said I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER. For most of my life the shame I carried because of acting out behavior I now understand is tied to trauma, I hid from view. I carried it alone and worked hard so no one would learn the truth. I could play act at being normal but it was all a lie... inside I was confused and riddled with shame.

I respond to folks who've found this website by first honoring the pain that led them here. I can't fix it but I certainly wouldn't discount it. It is your pain and you've been carrying it for a lifetime. I also encourage people to participate on this website because there is support here for healing. So far as I've been able to tell in the months I've been here, no one is here to showoff their abuse, to celebrate their pain. This is that club I want to join, because here I can tell the unvarnished truth of my experience, my behavior, my pain. I believe those men here who speak about healing, who are prepared to offer support to me as I heal. So you don't need to do or say anything when you read about other folk's struggles. If you feel moved you might say "I'm sorry this has all been so hard for you. I'm glad you found us and that you were able to tell us your truth." You're not alone Rwfox99, you're part of the club if you want to be. I wish it were otherwise for all of us but life doesn't work that we. So here we are.
 

Rwfox99

Registrant
I know that I am at the beginning of my journey. I am just looking for that next step.
I know what you mean, I have been dealing with this for so long. So I just said fuck it and told my story. It made me upset as I wrote it, but a little relieved that I did start. I don't regret telling my story. I wish I had the courage to tell someone in person. So I have been on here for three days. I still have crazy things running through my head and I didn't get out all of my story. But you have to start some where I guess.
 

Zilla

Registrant
I told my wife this week. I felt like all I was doing was giving excuses for my behavior but I have learned that the feelings I have been experience are part of the process.
 

Rwfox99

Registrant
Me too, I told my wife some of it months ago. She was shocked that it happened to me in the Army. She is the one who encouraged me to tell my therapist. I always thought it was my fault too.
 

baku206

Registrant
I told my wife this week. I felt like all I was doing was giving excuses for my behavior but I have learned that the feelings I have been experience are part of the process.
It is definitely hard to write. Anything. Blank paper is scary.
Dont worry about how to start. Just start and it will come along. If possible, cover the monitor, so you won't edit and judge yourself.
You dont have to even share if you're not ready.
Writing it down, is a way of acceptance.
Go for it.
 

Rwfox99

Registrant
Your not alone, but I'm glad I found this site on a sharp pamphlet at work. Even though I was hiding from co-workers.
 
Top