A Longing to share.

A Longing to share.
M

Mark R.

Registrant
:rolleyes: Does anyone else feel the need, a deep longing, to find someone to be totally truthful with? I have been keeping secrets for so long; it is overwhelming. I keep looking for that special person that can be trusted with everything in my soul; someone that will share their secrets with me. A best friend, a secret soul mate. This longing is a feeling of being completely naked, nothing to hide, nothing to fear, to be accepted as I am. It takes so much energy, so much effort, to be the actor, to play the role, to hide my life from others. This seems to be mixed with issues of trust and the burden of the secrets. Does any one else feel like this too?
 
You know, it's kinda funny that I wasn't sure I needed that until the opportunity finally arrived. I met a man over a year ago who shares many of the same hurts, fears, longings, etc that I have. It's real nice to have someone like that. I can tell him just about anything. He is 1.5 years younger than me, so we have the same growing up period to relate with. I thank God for him always. This is the first friend I have ever had like this, where we connect so well. And it isnt codependent as far as I can tell. Just two guys that wanna be buds and close friends. I longed for a friend like this and God granted it. With him, as you stated, I have nothing to hide, nothing to fear, and Im accepted as I am. I treat him likewise. We are still sharpening our relating skills since neither of us grew up with those skills, and that throws a shred of doubt into the works from time to time. By the next time we meet up, those doubts disappear.
 
Longing to share...oh what a relief to have a site such as this to share our inner most thoughts with each other and not be judged. We have carried our secret shames for so long and longed for the place we could just empty them. In just the short time that I have been visiting this site I have felt such a release from the burdens I have carried. I have been able to empty my thoughts, ask questions, contemplate, discuss, give my thoughts and everyone has been so supportive. Thanks to all of you for sharing. Even if we have not had the pleasure of meeting on chat, or email, or a post it makes a lot of difference to know that someone out there cares and understands what we have been through. I think we all stretch and grow in a site such as this. I have gained a lot of help in the insights of others and I have been able to look within to see what needs to be dealt with. It is truly a journey and we are all on it together.
 
I longed to really share this stuff, so many years of silence, the hiding of the inner self from the World is not easy.

I do have friends who know, and those who just know me for the good friend I am, the one who will always help out, or go the extra distance.

Surviving this from such an early age, really is a tough road to go down, when I came here, it lifted a huge burden just knowing that I was not alone.

This place has had a huge impact on the way I can now think of the things I went through alone, with all the feelings that go with it.

It fills me with despair, that any young kid should ever be alone with this hurt, and society needs to know this, in order for them to act on it with urgency.

take care,

ste
 
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